BXBX NOVEL Chapter 104
Edited by Iris Sakura
Under the lightless, pitch-black night, only the gleam of his crimson eyes sparkled.
With a blank face, Raytan blinked then sat up.
What kind of dream is that?
He couldn’t figure it out. Why was he on that hill, and why… did the way that woman said his name sound so familiar?
“Ray… tan.”
In his raspy voice, Raytan called out his name.
‘The Emperor’s will is God’s will.’
Those voices were still freely running through his head.
‘Please forgive me, Raytan.’ — The voice when he killed General Hayden.
‘In the Denhelder Empire, there is no need for a god other than me. Die, Raytan.’ — The voice when he killed the former emperor.
‘I love you, Raytan…’ — And… The voice of that unknown woman too.
He didn’t understand. They were all strangers to him; he had never seen any of them before.
Raytan turned his gaze toward the window. The faint moonlight seeped through the curtains that covered the window.
It’s a long time before dawn. He still had to sleep more.
After Carta Rowain’s hospitalization, Denhelder’s matters remained at a standstill. Urgent affairs were taken care of by Bern, but many things had to wait for the new emperor. Therefore, Raytan had to rest when he could.
However, he couldn’t sleep. Thoughts of the woman with purple eyes, the unknown man who thrust a sword into his stomach, and the blonde man with blue eyes he saw when he killed the former emperor didn’t cease disturbing his mind.
‘… Am I going crazy?’
An unfamiliar worry kept unsettling him.
“…”
Raytan then decided to get up from the bed. Following that, he wrapped a cloak, which had been loosely lying on a lavishly crafted chair, around his shoulders.
It was a cloak that did not suit his title as the emperor at all. It was Sezh’s gift.
***
Sezh couldn’t sleep.
Is it because the bed has changed? She had tossed and turned herself around her bed countless times.
She sighed deeply. She had been in this situation for several hours by now. Even if she lay still, she didn’t think she’ll be able to sleep anytime soon. It would be better to get up and write a reply to Mathias’ letters. There were piles of his letters that Kaen had arranged.
Sezh finally chose to get up from her bed. However, right at the moment, someone knocked on the door.
“W-who is it at such hour….”
It was so early in the morning that everyone would be asleep. Sezh was instantly petrified. She clutched the blanket tightly while trying to speak in a small voice.
“…Kaen?”
No reply.
Sezh took the courage to speak once again.
“Kaen… is that you?”
However, the reply wasn’t from Kaen.
“… It’s me, Sezh.”
It was Raytan. Her perplexed eyes immediately shook for a brief second.
“I’m coming in.”
Before she could say anything, the door swung open. Raytan, who entered the room, had the same appearance as usual. He came in with slightly disheveled clothes and ruffled ebony hair. And she couldn’t forget to mention the cloak draped around his shoulders.
Regardless, the Raytan in front of her was no longer the Raytan he used to be. He was not a prince who suffered persecution and neglect. He was the Emperor of Denhelder now.
“Were you sleeping?”
“Ah, no.”
“… I’m relieved then.”
Raytan took off his cloak and sat down next to her.
Sezh was clueless about what things to say in such a situation. It was funny. Just a few days ago, she could still have a casual conversation with him.
“Sezh.”
“Yes- yes?”
“Your complexion doesn’t look good.”
Yeah, she didn’t feel good. To be precise, nervousness was filling her stomach right now.
“Are you hurt somewhere?”
“No! It’s fine.”
“You’re not sleeping with the window open again, are you?”
It was the same tone as usual. The one Raytan uses when he is worried about her.
“I don’t leave it open… lately. Last time, Brother said that the window has to be closed when I— N-No,” Sezh stuttered.
“That… Not Brother, I mean Your Highness. Your Highness is…”
Raytan quietly observed Sezh, occupied with her muttering, then snickered. He had wondered why Sezh was so tense, but in the end, it was because of such a thing.
“When it’s only the two of us, you can call me as usual, Sezh.”
“Uh… but… other people might think… it’s bad.”
“Who would dare?”
“No, of course, Brother- No, Your Highness… they won’t think anything bad about you, but they would about me.”
“So, who dares treat you badly?”
“What?”
“If they misbehave even a little, they’ll get their heads cut off right away.”
“….”
“If they have regard for their little lives, they wouldn’t dare to do it, right?”
She should have kept her mouth shut earlier or maybe just pretended to be asleep.
“Ah, yes…” Sezh replied in a small voice.
While still staring intently at her, Raytan then continued.
“And you promised. You said even if many things change in the future, you won’t change.”
Their conversation on the day of Lize’s funeral replayed in her mind.
“You… I like you to be just like that,” Raytan continued.
Even if everything else had changed, he only wanted Sezh to stay the same.
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes, Your- No, B-Brother Raytan.”
Upon hearing that familiar call, Raytan swiftly looked at her.
“My name.”
“What…?”
“Say it again. My name.”
“…”
“Hurry.”
Sezh hesitated for a moment. Then in a muffled voice, she spoke like a mosquito.
“Brother…”
“…”
“…Raytan.”
‘Die, Raytan.’
‘I love you, Raytan…’
Sezh’s voice smothered all those nameless people’s voices. It was ludicrous how she only called him once, but he already felt calmed in an instant like this.
‘Right. I like it this way.’
A faint smile appeared on Raytan’s face.
Sezh gave a slightly puzzled expression. Earlier, Raytan opened the door and came to her room with his daily, icy look, but now it’s not like that at all. Well, it was fortunate since she didn’t want Raytan to be in a foul mood.
“Um, Brother… I have a question for you.”
“Tell me. Do you need anything? Anything is fine. Dresses? Or jewelry? Whatever you want.”
“No, it’s not like that. What I want to ask is about… the soldiers.”
“… Soldiers?”
“Yes. How long are the soldiers going to guard me like this? It’s a little bit burdensome….”
Right after she said it, Raytan’s face hardened slightly.
“O-of course, I know well that Brother is worried about me. But since there are so many of them, I don’t think I can adapt well…”
“Don’t worry about it.”
‘He will discharge them soon, won’t he? Thank God.’
Just when Sezh was thinking it…
“You will get used to them soon.”
“…Huh?”
“Sezh, lend me your legs like that time.”
“Uh, uh…”
“You don’t want to?”
“No, no. It’s okay.”
Finally granted permission, Raytan laid down on her bed. He looked up from Sezh’s skinny thighs.
“…”
When their eyes met, Sezh turned her head involuntarily.
For some reason, she felt embarrassed. At this late hour, being with Raytan in the bedroom like this…
Nevertheless, it’s strange for her to suddenly feel this way. Hadn’t Sezh been in and out of Raytan’s library even in the middle of the night under the pretense of tutoring for Kazaki? He also often walked into her bedroom, right?
“…What’s the matter?”
“It’s nothing. Blanket— I’ll cover you with a blanket. Wait a minute.”
Sezh hurriedly grabbed the blanket then carefully covered Raytan’s body.
Maybe all of this feels new because she discovered they had no blood relation at all.
…And maybe it was also because of his eyes that gazed at her differently than before.
“Please get some sleep. I’ll wake you up before dawn…”
Hearing that, Raytan slowly closed his eyes without giving a further reply. At that moment, Sezh secretly patted her chest.
“Touch my hair. Like back then.”
He was like a child whining to get his mother’s pampering. Sezh hesitated but eventually reached out her hand to Raytan’s head. His soft dark hair ran through her fingers.
“… Sezh.”
Raytan opened his mouth with his eyes still closed.
“You will stay with me, won’t you?”
“What…?”
“I’ll be your reason. You won’t go, right?”
In an instant, the fact about the soldiers guarding this palace flashed through her mind. That being the case, it seems that their existence was probably to watch her.
‘… No. I won’t.’
Sezh shook her head.
“Answer me, Sezh.”
“No, I told you already…”
“Great.”
Raytan faintly smiled.
The touch of her hand on his hair and her warmth passed through her skin— everything was good. No more bizarre visions or voices echoed. He didn’t feel any anxiety either. Raytan slowly fell asleep. It didn’t seem like he would even have a nightmare when he was in these arms.