BXBX NOVEL Chapter 30
Translator and Editor: Maru and Aki
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Chapter 30
“This might be your last chance. The door to the child’s heart is already locked. Don’t avoid the child because of your pride or another feeling. No matter what anyone says, the child looks up to you, and she misses you all the time…since you’re the only family that she loves dearly.”
“······.”
“It may come out as a rambling, but actually, there’s only one thing I want. Listen to the child. Then…goodbye.”
At that time, something heavy fell in front of me as I was about to leave.
“It’s a reward since you’ve worked so hard.”
I tried to walk out in a cool way, but I stopped walking because he threw a money bag as if he had expected this situation.
“······.”
“I heard that all the money you make goes to your family.”
My eyes met with his for a moment.
Oh, did he actually pay attention to me?
However, I was disappointed by his following words.
“That’s why you got angry last time, right? Since I compensated your family for getting you hurt.”
“······.”
“So you can take it for yourself this time. Take the money and do whatever you want. Don’t ever show up in front of my daughter again.”
“…..”
“Don’t come again. No, just leave this empire. Never show your face ever again. If you keep checking on my daughter, then I’ll crush you in the name of Petri Dukedom.
No matter how much I tried to refute, he had already made up his mind of kicking me out.
When I saw him fiercely saying what he had to say, funny enough, my hand had already held the money he had thrown.
I put it in my arms in case anyone saw it and went back to my room.
Since I said I would sleep in this room anyway, Rere wouldn’t come to find me.
In my room, where no one came, I waited until more time went by.
There was no way I could even get to sleep.
The later it was, the clearer my mind became.
I concentrated on the unusually quiet hallway today. In case someone might come. I was afraid I’d miss the sound.
“Nobody’s coming.”
I thought for a moment that someone might come…
I thought he might come to stop me and say the child needed me.
But I was being full of myself, and no such miracle happened.
No one came to the room until 3 a.m. I heard someone pass by in front of my room a few times, but that was all.
In order to not leave any lingering feelings, I made up my mind, put on a hoodie, and came out.
Taking advantage of the early morning hours when no one was around, I bid my farewell like a thief. The Duke’s knights always watched me so that I wouldn’t cross the gate, but no one caught me today.
“You’re going to get punished.”
After swearing at the Duke, I headed to the back of the castle, went to the road, and jumped into the forest. Because the castle was located on a mountain.
Because of that, the surrounding area was full of trees. The fact that I was getting out of here meant I needed to go down the mountain, and it was very tiring.
After running and running for such a long time, I looked back and saw the mansion from afar. Yesterday, no, up until this morning, it was the place where I had a good time with Rere. But that wasn’t my place anymore.
‘Rere, I’d rather you hate me. I can’t believe that I’ll be just like the other mothers who left you again. You should think that the only person who wouldn’t leave you is your daddy. So go back to being in a good relationship with your father. I, as your mom, will find another way.’
In the end, my existence was no different from other mothers.
Because I abandoned my child.
If there was one thing that made me worried, it was the wound that the child might get.
The thick money in my pocket, which jingled whenever I moved, seemed to tell me how trashy my conscience was.
***
Before I knew it, the sun had risen in the sky, and I was still unable to get out of the forest. Although I cursed at him so that I could look cool, I didn’t think that the road would be this difficult.
“Augh…it hurts.”
My feet were full of blisters since I ran all night. My swollen legs were so heavy as if I was running with a bucket tied on my feet whenever I walked.
“I guess I’ve been living too comfortably in the mansion these days. This much already gives me a hard time.”
I laughed bitterly at myself and went down the mountain wearing my shoes again.
I walked and walked in the same way, and finally, I got out of the mountain where the Duke’s mansion was, but I couldn’t go anywhere.
When I escaped from that mansion, I wanted to apply as a palace maid or escape to a faraway country, but when the situation actually came, I had nowhere to go.
Even so, I didn’t want to return to Leona’s house. Going there was no different than going back into the devil’s mouth.
Eventually, I rested for a few days at an inn not far away from the mountain where the mansion was located.
I ate and slept as much as I wanted. I slept late and enjoyed taking a bath while pleasuring myself with an expensive perfume bath.
I looked out the window blankly and remembered the back of Luca’s hand.
I kept thinking of Luca’s [Pledge of words] in my hand the other day. I tried to investigate, but I was too busy playing with Rere every day.
Just in time, there was a bookstore not far from the inn I stayed in that let me verify [Pledge of Words] from the old magic book that I bought there.
That Luca didn’t lie.
“So I guess he was pretty reliable. “
But what does that have to do with anything now?
It was ridiculous to say that when we would never see each other again. I would never come back. I agreed to part ways with Rere, but now I was the one who had lingering feelings.
That was why I closed the magic book.
“But I don’t think he’ll do anything stupid to Rere, so I am a little relieved.”
Then, I lied on the bed and rolled over. However, my empty heart did not get better easily. After enduring and enduring, I left the inn on the third day and wandered aimlessly.
It was so I could plan out how I should escape to another county.
At that time, a white building appeared in front of me like it was fate.
A place that exists in Leona’s memory. It was a temple.
Leona didn’t really like it.
For her, the existence of god was only available for people who could make ends meet and afford to believe.
God didn’t exist for a person who constantly worried about her meal tomorrow like herself. So Leona’s body refused to go to the temple.
That was why I could just follow what Leona’s body told me to do, but on the other hand, I kept thinking of Rere.
“How can I help you?”
“I’d like to offer a prayer.”
At that time, I felt a man eyeing me from head to toe. Come to think of it, my clothes become shabby after running down the forest all night.
It was because I didn’t really want to buy new clothes, so I kept wearing the same clothes.
It was shabby and worn out.
The man’s face looked uncomfortable, perhaps because I looked homeless. I even wore a headscarf on my head.
“…Go over there. This is where only the VIP can enter.”
The man shook his hand with a look of discomfort as if he was bothered.
“······.”
I wanted to yell, ‘Your God must be blinded with outer appearance!’ but I managed to hold myself back.
‘If the Duke finds me because I made a fuss here…it would be so terrible. There would be no way the Duke would just send me away from this easily. He might come after me. Maybe he’ll chase after me and kick me out from this empire himself.’
I didn’t know if I was just being paranoid, but it was possible. With his personality, he would definitely go crazy if he knew I was still around.
Moreover, he’d be furious if he knew I didn’t heed his warning. There was nothing bad about staying alert.
So I lowered my hood and headed to the place where the knight pointed. Unlike the white marble flooring on the main entrance, the place where the knight pointed was covered in dirt.
As if to show the difference in status, homeless people were lying around the dirty road. No one seemed to kick them out because they were in the temple. They even set up their own house.
Some homeless people rose from their seats as I slowly entered the temple. Fortunately, they lied down again as if they were disappointed with my appearance.
No one was begging me. My heart was pounding so hard when I passed by those homeless people.
When I arrived in front of the priest, who yawned as if he was bothered, offered me a money box.
“You need to pay to enter.”
“…Pay?”
Oh my god, you had to pay to pray?
It was not certain that praying would have an effect on increasing someone’s health. But I didn’t have the will to argue, so I took the silver coin from my pocket and put it in it.
“Silver coin, go to the corner over there.’
“…Is my spot determined by money?”
“That’s right. Stop talking and go over there.”
Eventually, I sat on the mattress that was laid down on the floor instead of the chair.
Even though it was a shabby place, the temple was indeed a temple.
The white statue with an invisible face was reaching out to us in benevolence, and just entering the temple made me feel purified. Of course, that feeling didn’t last long.
“To think that I need to pay for a spot is sickening.”
After a deep sigh, I groaned for a while and closed my eyes quietly. Then I prayed for Rere’s future.
I hope you are always healthy. If there is a god, please erase my existence from that vulnerable child’s mind.
I wanted her to forget the hurtful existence of a ‘mom’ and leave behind all the painful memories she had. I prayed and prayed for a long time.
After a long time, when I opened my eyes, someone was looking at me.
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