BXBX NOVEL Chapter 44 - My Decision
Megan\'s POV
I know that Ashton is sincere with his words, and I see it in his beautiful eyes. And it hurts me so bad that we need to break up because of the circumstances around us. I don\'t want to break his heart and mine as well, but I don\'t have a choice since we are living in two different worlds, his social status is so far from mine, and I couldn\'t be the right girl for him, and most of all because of our siblings, and I don\'t want to be like my brother.
They are rich, and I know that we will be forever like this, or maybe if I can finish my studies, I can improve our way of living, but I know that for Ashton\'s father, I will never be enough for his son like what happened to Dexter. I could see in his eyes that he was hurting, and God knows how much I wanted to be Ashton\'s girlfriend. I want to take a risk, but there are many things I need to consider, my family, and, of course, my life in the Academy, since I am afraid if we continue to date, those girls will never stop bothering me.
"Megan, I am begging you, don\'t do this please, I know I hurt you so much, and you went through a lot since I started dating you. I understand it was hard on your part to be my girlfriend because of the girls. But believe me, when I say, I only have eyes for you." Ashton said as he turned his chair so he would be facing me, and Ashton took my hands and brought them to his mouth and softly kissed my knuckles, and I could feel the knots on my stomach when he caressed my face that I had to close my eyes to resist him. I don\'t want to see Ashton\'s face because I can\'t trust myself.
When I opened my eyes again, I found him gazing at me like I am the most beautiful girl in the universe, and he looked so handsome right now, and his intense gaze penetrated my entire being. I love the feeling I am having right now, but I need to be firm with my decision.
"Ashton, I want to be with you, but after what happened at Lauren\'s party, I realized I needed to stop my fantasy. I was serving your friends as Lauren\'s maid, and I don\'t want you to be humiliated because of me; you will be laughed at with your friends." I said as I let out a heavy sigh. He never let go of my hands as he looked at me in the eyes.
"Megan, what you did was amazing, and I am so proud of you. I don\'t care what they will say about you, as long as we are good. They don\'t know how I feel, and it is their loss that they didn\'t see the goodness in you. I admire your beauty, your intelligence, and of course, your love for your family, that you work hard to help your parents. And that is one of the reasons why I fell in love with you." He said, and his words moved me, but I know it will never be enough.
"Thank you, Ashton, but I will never change my mind, thank you that you felt that way towards me. But we need to stop seeing each other, Ashton." I said as I looked at him to let him know I was serious with my decision.
"Meg, what do I need to do, so you will not break up with me?" He asked, and I wanted to touch his handsome face.
"Nothing Ashton, I want to finish my high school without any more drama, I wanted to know how it feels to be your girlfriend, but I realized it was more complicated than I thought. I didn\'t blame you for what those girls did to me, especially Lauren\'s schemes, but no matter how I look at it, it will still lead back to you. You were the reason why they gave me hard stares as if I have done a hideous crime." I said, and his face softened, and he stroked my face again.
"I am so sorry, Megan, but don\'t worry, I will talk to each one of them if that is the only way I can have you back. I don\'t want to let you go, Meg. But since you want to break up with me, I understand, and I will give you what you want. I will agree with your decision because I love you." He said, feeling so defeated, and now that he told me he understood me, and Ashton is letting me go, I can feel the pain in my heart, and I can no longer hold my tears, and he wiped them away.
"Why are you crying, Meg? I thought this is what you want? To have your freedom back?" He asked, and I controlled, and I composed myself before I spoke again.
"I am crying because I am so thankful for your understanding, and I want you to know that I will forever keep you in my heart, Ashton. Maybe someday, when I become somebody, I will have the courage to beg you to take me back." I said.
"You don\'t need to beg, Meg, because I will always be here waiting for you to come back to me, I agreed that we should break up, but it doesn\'t mean I will stop loving you." He said, and I smiled at him.
"Thank you, Ashton," I replied.
"And I am sorry to tell you this, Megan, I will find a way that you will take me back sooner than later because I want us to be together. And I don\'t easily accept defeat without a fight." He said, and I felt so happy that even if I knew, there was no way I would get back to him, now that he let me go even if it hurts like hell. Breaking up with Ashton was the hardest thing that I have ever done, and there is a part of me hoping he will fight for me. I know I was crazy for thinking such a thing knowing I insisted on breaking up with him.
"Good luck with that, Ashton," I said, and I got up from the foldable chair, and I still wanted to look at the city below us sparkling like stars in the skies.
"I need to go home now, Ashton. It is getting late." I replied.
"Of course, I am sorry, Meg." He said, and he let out a heavy sigh.
"If I only know you will break up with me tonight, how I wish I didn\'t talk with you, at least I can still call you my girl. I hope you are happy with your decision, Megan." He said as he folded the chairs and put them back at the back of his car. I want to tell Ashton that I am not happy with my decision, and I am one hundred percent sure I will become miserable, but I don\'t have a choice but to do the most reasonable thing.
"I hope you understand why I am doing this, Ashton," I replied as he opened the passenger\'s door for me, and I want to say sorry to him, but I am afraid of what will come out of my mouth.
"I am trying my best to understand you, Megan, even if it is hard on my part, and I am aware I hurt you terribly, and I understand this is your way of punishing me, and I hope you will lift this punishment so I can be with you, Megan, because I felt like my heart is dying right now." He said, and I couldn\'t believe Ashton would be talking to me about how he feels, and I realized that I was beginning to get swayed. So, I think of Lauren\'s angry face and sinister smiles and her friends laughing at me while I was shivering in the cold after she pushed me into the swimming pool. And the pain I felt when I found out Ashton only dated me because of his sister\'s request. And I tried my best to remember the agony of my brother\'s face as he cried out and talked about her love for Isabelle. Too much pain that I don\'t want to experience ever again.
Ashton started the engine, and after a couple of minutes, he drove away from his favorite spot. It feels like I left my heart in Astikoz hills since it feels like my heart is so numb right now, and Ashton was silent the entire ride; and the moment we arrived in our driveway, he quickly climbed out of the car, and he ran to my side to open my door.
"Good night, Megan." He said, and he returned to his car quickly, and I could tell he was avoiding my eyes, and he drove away without taking a last glance at me. My bag fell to the ground as I felt the after effect of my decision of breaking up with Ashton, my tears fell on my cheeks as I got down on my knees to grab my bag, but I felt so weak that I sat on the ground while my tears continue to fall like waterfalls. I could feel the anguish in my heart as I looked at his car fading away.. I sobbed as I realized Ashton was no longer my boyfriend, and the way he left me was telling me he already accepted the fact that I was no longer part of his life.