BXBX NOVEL Chapter 175 - Frustrated
Lena knew it and was fairly certain that most of those in her family could tell that her mood had dropped after Samuel had left and even more so that after hours she had only gotten two text messages from him. One about halfway through the trip and another after they reached the estate.
She knew that this was likely due to the fact that there was a lot they would be busy with. Not being there to know exactly what was going on though made her worry about what to expect over the next three days. It wasn\'t like she had much to do to distract herself either.
Her work ability was still limited by the fact that her father didn\'t want her to leave the house as her injuries were still not quite healed enough for him to feel comfortable with it. He didn\'t like the idea of it knowing that there was someone else out there aside from Jovani that he would have to still worry about.
Lena didn\'t think that it was that big of a deal however. She got the feeling that Marcus probably know about what had happened already if Genson had said anything to him. That didn\'t necessarily mean that he knew they were on to him which could still work in their favor.
The princess also wanted to get back to work because she wanted to know how Genson and Eve were doing. Not being there physically meant that she had to trust whatever information that they were giving her to be true and not manufactured. The only other person that she could rely on was James, but he wasn\'t capable of the same level of authority and control that she was.
Leo only decided to text Samuel after some time went by and Lena remained unreasonable about not wanting to do much of anything except spend her time on the second floor patio, preferably without any other company. She wasn\'t a person who did well with inaction and or being held back from doing what she wanted to do.
It didn\'t matter to her that her father\'s concerns were reasonable and it made sense for her to rest. She didn\'t feel that there was a reason to rest without Samuel being gone because it just put her more on edge without something to do to distract herself.
Her emotions being out of sort still from the night before wasn\'t helping that matter either. She tried to think about what she felt and how to deal with it, but she couldn\'t come up with a reasonable answer on how to sort them or how to react to those type of situations in the future.
Emotions weren\'t her strong point, not after what had happened with her mother. She didn\'t think that it was worth getting close to people anymore after that, at least not beyond her family. The world she lived in was too dangerous to draw other people into.
That was one of the biggest things that she had learned from what happened with her mother. People who wanted to harm someone would target the most vulnerable people they were close to. In her father\'s case that had been her mother because she came from a world where she didn\'t need to know how to protect herself in the same her father had learned how to.
In Lena\'s case that person would become Samuel. Which as her biggest reason against going through with the relationship. She would\'ve refused anyone her father or others had suggested she be with simply because she was determined to take over and lead the family alone because it would decrease the risk of anyone else being targeted if it clear from an outside perspective there was one that was intimate or close with.
The biggest reason for her though landed on the fact that like her mother, Samuel was or at least it was believed at the time to be someone who was outside of the mafia world. Someone who hadn\'t experienced what they experienced on the dark side of the world. Someone who hadn\'t learned the same type of survival skills that she had to nor knew how to think or react quickly to dangerous situations.
It wasn\'t that she didn\'t want someone weak next to her, she didn\'t assess people that way, at least not inwardly. What she said and how reacted on the outside to it came as a the polar opposite of that but that was because she was frustrated over the fact that her father wouldn\'t agree to call of the arranged marriage.
Zane knew the risks as well as Lena did, but he refused to do it simply because of what happened with his own wife and that was the only reason that the princess would offer to him about why she didn\'t want anything to do with Samuel or the arranged marriage.
In his mind though, things had changed and he didn\'t want his daughter to be stuck in a space where she didn\'t think that she could be close to anyone because the end result would be that she\'d lose them if she took such a risk. No one could deny that it was tragic what happened to her mother and Zane\'s wife.
He had learned a lot from that experience however and was more than certain of the fact that the additional precautions in place and the way things were, it wouldn\'t turn out the same way. Plus, he knew that his daughter would figure out how to take the extra steps that he didn\'t think he would need to take with his wife in order to make sure that nothing would end up happening with Samuel.
The princess however wasn\'t convinced back then and was only slightly more so now convinced, simply due to the fact that she knew whether they stayed together or not, Samuel had been pulled into her world from two different sides and there was no way that he was going to be able to leave it now even if they did breakoff.
Still though, he response to her father not agreeing to break off the relationship was to react harshly to it instead and push back on convincing the other that he wasn\'t going to be a good fit and that she didn\'t like or want anything to do with him from the start.
Perhaps it was something that she had laid on too thickly from the start, but her world wasn\'t a generous one and she couldn\'t afford to extend generosity that didn\'t exist in many areas within this world from the start. She knew that it wasn\'t a great way to handle the situation, but in her mind it was the most sensible route to take.
Plus, at the time it was easier to do as well since he was an outsider and someone she didn\'t much about except for the few pieces of information that her father had relayed from Samuel\'s parents. With an outsider, it also didn\'t much to convince herself that he was someone not to trust or be gentle with since she didn\'t know that much about him in the first place.
What she hadn\'t expected though was for the awkward and somewhat nervous boy that she had first met to be more stubborn that she expected even if he didn\'t have the right skills to protect himself, he certainly wasn\'t going to leave without pushing back.
Nor had she expected that things would advance to the point that they were currently at where he was comfortable enough to tease her as much as she had done to him before. Albeit not quite as harshly. She had assumed though that Samuel\'s pride would\'ve gotten in the way at some point and caused things to break off once he hit the point that he no longer wanted to deal with her attitude anymore.
That never ended up happening though. He ended up sticking around despite everything and even pushed back against her at some point she didn\'t expect. She never hated him in the first place even if she disliked being forced into something that she wasn\'t keen on.
Now though, her feelings were shifting from feeling indifferent towards him but not minding the company since he was more reasonable and easier to talk to than most of the people outside of her family were to something that she wasn\'t quite sure what to classify it as.
Perhaps something more along the lines of affection but not quite at the point that she was ready to admit that she loved him. She didn\'t think that she had been together with him long enough for things to be heading towards that point.
Trying to figure it out was causing her to be frustrated to the point that she decided to take a nap as she knew that she probably wouldn\'t be able to sleep much later that night until she was certain that everything with Samuel would turn out okay.