BXBX NOVEL Chapter 596 Struggles Of A Longing Man (3)
The moment I saw my son\'s confused and hurt expression, I felt like the skies fell upon me ever so mercilessly.
His little body trembled, while his crystal blue eyes, which looked exactly like mine, were on the verge of breaking into tears.
"Waaaah!!!" Little Han\'s cries blended with Eli\'s hysteria and soon the elders came rushing to the room and saw our terrible state.
I hugged him tightly as I was also at a loss.
Eli\'s awakening and state are something that I could not prepare enough for, no matter how I tried my best.
Her soulless terrified state was even more tragic than when she was the moment I saved her from the dungeon back then.
Perhaps, it was because the memory she had was two lifetimes of suffering. Even the guardians weren\'t sure if her mind could take the confusion of having a fragmented self-consciousness and memory.
How absurd could it be, two have a memory of suffering from two different lives and yet, she could not find an explanation as to why she has suffered?
"Heavens…" Grandmaster Reuben, Chief Eirllon, and Chief Fafnir all took over and smoothened things out.
With the help of Aunt Yellena and Uncle Cornelius, they were able to calm Eli while I stare at her frightened figure while mechanically consoling my son who does not understand a thing about the situation.
"Leon, get yourself together and bring the child away from here at the moment." Suddenly, I heard Father Emperor\'s voice as he bent over and helped me up.
"But Eli…" I mumbled, but in reality, my mind was not working properly at the moment. I really do not know what to do.
"Let the elders take over, Little Han\'s state is important too!" Father sternly said as he looked at me with a serious expression.
His eyes looked at me with pity and worry, especially when his eyes landed on the troubled Little Han in my arms. With a firm voice, met my gaze once more and said, "Go!"
Taking it as an order, I nodded blankly and went to another room where Little Han and I were supposed to stay.
"Boohoohoo… Daddi!! Wuwuwuwu…"
As we entered the room and shut the door, Little Han\'s heartbreaking cries covered the chambers.
"Hush… my son… please… calm down…" I caressed his little body while wiping his face gently, trying to console his emotions.
"Wuwuwuwu… Daddi… mommi… mommi is gone… boohoohoo!" Little Han\'s wails and the haunting reality struck the deepest of my soul.
"No… son. It\'s not true… Mommy is just…"
"Your mommy is just…"
I opened my mouth and closed it again. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to find words to assure my son…
How could I do that? I am not even sure if I could assure myself either.
Holding my son in my arms, I collapsed at the bedside losing my energy and strength as I cried.
My body trembled as I hugged my son bitterly and cried in an even more pathetic way than any other worthless man on the planet.
I cried and cried, my wails even masking the sorrow my son was giving.
At one point, my son, who was just more than two years old, stretched out his chubby little arms and wrapped them around my neck.
With great difficulty, he mimicked the way I was patting him when I was consoling him earlier, even if he was crying and sniffling as well.
"Daddi…daddi is sad…" With his childish and innocent voice, Little Han weakly called out.
I tried to keep my emotions in check as I looked at him. Such a little one, trying to act strongly when I as a grown-up broke down in front of him.
I cupped his face and gently wiped his tears, taking a deep breath as I answered, "I\'m sorry son…"
In between my tears, I lifted his little body and placed him in front of me.
I knelt on the bedside looking at him an eye level as I slowly tried to explain before his innocent expression.
"Daddy is sorry because I did not explain it to you…"
"Mommy is like that because she was sick…"
Slowly, my thoughts churned in my mind trying to find the simplest and safest words for my son to hear.
I did not know if he could understand, but I prayed as I explained it carefully, that he would not take heart of what he would be seeing from Eli from this point forward.
"Mommi is sick?" Little Han rubbed his eyes with his palms, trying to look as mature as possible.
My heart ached as I saw his actions. He is just a two-year-old…
Kids at his age aren\'t supposed to even comprehend this situation and yet… because of his abilities, he was able to get a hint of his surroundings and eventually get hurt by the matters of the adults.
I held his hand, caressed it gently as I met his little crystal blue eyes, and explained,
"Yes… that\'s why Daddy is sad as well."
"Daddi… what\'s wwong with Mommi?" He asked with his face full of confusion and worry.
I took a deep breath and answered, "Mommy, is trapped in a bad dream…"
"Bad dweam??" My son tilted his head and blinked, worried as he showed that he understood what a bad dream is.
"Yes…Mommy is sick because even if she wakes up, she could still see that she was in a bad dream…"
"That is why she could not see us clearly…"
"She could not hear us as well…"
"Because in that dream she is alone and afraid… that\'s why she acted like that…"
My heart tightened as I observed every expression my child was showing as he listened to my narrative.
"Daddi… mommi can\'t see Johann?"
"Yes…"
"Mommi can\'t feel Johann as well?"
"Yes, she cant…" I patiently answered.
"Mommi is scawed (scared) … Daddi…" Little Han\'s eyes once more brimmed with tears as he seemed to understand a bit of Eli\'s situation. "When Johann has bad dweam, I cry… it\'s scawy…."
"En…" I caressed his blood-red hair, comforting him as he continued to mumble.
"Daddi… can we wake up Mommi?"
"We can but it will take a long time…" I answered half-heartedly.
For I know it would be harder to wake up someone whose reality is as dreadful as Eli\'s remaining memories.
"Can Little Han be patient and not be scared if Mommi is like that?" I asked him while I had a fleeting wish that this conversation would protect Little Han until Eli would be truly healed.
My son\'s face which bears both mine and Eli\'s brightness and features looked at me for a long while.
Then he nodded his little head, still bearing sadness and worry with his reddish eyes and nose as he answered.
"Yesh… Johann will wait for mommi… Johann waited for Wisey too…"
"Johann is good at waiting…"
"Johann will be fine…" He said like it was an assurance while giving me a pained smile.
Hearing his reply, I felt like a thousand swords pierced my heart violently. The pain is relentlessly condemning me for being powerless over the situation.
How could Johann be okay with all of this?
How could the situation not haunt him in his sleep?
But even so, I as an adult and as his father had to be even stronger than him.
I flashed an assuring smile as well, while I cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead, "My Johann is a good child…"
"Let\'s pray together… Maybe the Great One will help us heal Mommy fast. What do you think?"
"Owkay!" Little Han beamed upon hearing my words.
With that I smiled and accompanied him all day, setting aside the fact about Eli\'s waking.
That evening when Little Han was finally asleep, I was summoned by the elders for my fiance\'s matter.
In the room, my friends and our family gathered and looked at me solemnly. Kayden, First Brother Kazimir, and Second Brother Antoine looked at me with worry and pity.
I clenched my fist as I prepared for what they would be saying.
The silence and heaviness in the room reached its peak, it was unbearable that I had the urge to turn my back and leave at once.
But then Grandmaster Reuben finally let out a heavy sigh as he spoke.
"Eli\'s condition is far worse than we thought."
"She recognizes no one… and refuses to trust no one as well…" Uncle Cornelius continued.
I bit my lips as I already knew that this would come eventually, but what in the world shall we do?
The question in my mind was not voiced out in my own mouth, but I searched for the answers in their faces.
But to no avail.
Everyone is just as powerless and clueless as I was. Even the most talented healers in the room, Kayden and his family were helpless as well.
Realizing that we are at a dead end, I closed my eyes and tightened my fist.
The decision that I had been brewing in my heart last night when my brothers talked to me finally solidified.
I as the father to our family shall make a stand.
For my son and for my Eli.
I looked at the Elders, our family, and friends. With a tone that is as resolute as possible, I declared my decision,
"I shall take Eli and Little Han back to Silver Dew… to where it all began."
"Until Eli comes back… I shall accompany them there…"
I looked up and met their surprised gazes as I pleaded on my little family\'s behalf.
"I hope everyone understands and supports my decision…"