Chapter 253: No regret iv
The wind blows and his robe fluttered slightly.
He is now sitting under the roof of his Heaven Pavilion a few pebble is in his hand. He picks up the pebbles when he found it underneath the staircase below the pavilion.
He just found the pebbles interesting. The pebbles are rainbow colored and Azief immediately understand it.
There must be some woman maidservant that wanted to seduce him. This is not the first time after all.
He is an Emperor but he only has one woman and even though he refused any concubine surely there are a few maidservants are thinking of ascending to become a Phoenix.
He just found such scheme laughable.
He is now sixty years old, yet his face does not show any signs of aging. He has no white hair, no wrinkles on his face, looking as dashing and handsome as he was years ago.
He looks at the clouds and he sighed. Standing there with his black dragon robe, he seems heroic and valiant.
His Empress is already old and Azief could felt that she does not have long.
She has let go of the vengeance of the past.
Since the day he killed his Empress father and relatives to weaken the noble authority and to prevent Empress family to hold a lot of power in the Court, the Empress has not stop trying to take him down by scheming and plotting.
But since her son is born she no longer do such a thing.
Not to mention, even though Azief did execute the family of his Empress, he himself did not take any concubine.
It is because Azief did not want and does not need concubines like the Emperor of Thul’nos or the barbarian tribes.
It is not he couldn’t, it is he didn’t want to.
Even though some officials plead him to take a concubine and populate the Imperial Family, Azief has always turns a deaf ear on this matter.
Azief look at the sky and sighed.
Sixty years…that passed like a dream. All of it seems like a long dream. He spent sixty years on this reality…yet he did not feel it is real.
‘What is your regret?’
Azief ask again this question.
For the past sixty years he has asked this question. In the years that passed, he has weather all the thing no other men have endured.
Thinking about it, he did not know which is real. Is it his life as a normal but pathetic life with little to his name, working at some dead end job before the Fall, or the world renowned expert Death Monarch or this life as the Emperor of Erania.
‘Is it all a dream?’ He asked himself.
‘All of it….is it just a dream? A long, long dream?’ He asks to no one in particular. He is tired. He does not refer to the tiredness of his body.
It is his heart.
He has seen his friends and comrade dies, he has seen the best and worst of men.
He has seen unfortunate accident in the intrigue of the palace; he has seen kind men punished, evil men rewarded, treacherous people thrive and loyal and kind people to suffer.
What he felt in this world was nothing he ever experienced in his world.
He could never always focus in unraveling the mystery of the Universe or magic because there is suffering all over him.
His heart, his Path does not allow him to pretend that the suffering isn’t there.
So he fought. And he fought. And sixty years has passed since he began fighting the world.
And now, he has stopped fighting, his sword is in some corner of his study to be admired by his sons.
He experience the feeling he never felt when he was Death Monarch. In his Earth, he never doubts his decision.
But here, his life was never guaranteed.
Here, he is not invincible. So, he had to use his mind and unlike in his world, people die for him.
People who he regarded as friend and comrade die for him and unlike on his earth he is powerless to stop their death or protect them like he protect Sina, Sofia, Loki and Will.
But even as Death keep taking his friend away, he keep moving forward, one step at time to restore what is right.
A world where evil men are punished, and kind men rewarded, a world where treacherous people suffers and generous people thrive.
Sixty years it takes him….Now, the world is at peace. But how many bones, how many lives were sacrificed in the process.
Yet….he did not regret one thing.
Not one thing.
‘Azul…what is it you want me to learn. Sixty years I have lived, there is not one regret in my heart.’ he sighed
The Palace Guard who was guarding the Pavilion from afar sometimes took a sneak peek at the Emperor and they themselves felt sad.
They don’t know what causes the Emperor to felt so sad like he was holding some heavy burden.
The Emperor possess everything in this world, wealth, power and influence and Emperor Azul is loved by the populace, his citizens all lived in an era of prosperity.
Many scholars that are produced by the Imperial Examination policy all praised the Emperor and historian noted that this is the most prosperous era of Aethens and even Thul’nos.
The Empire of Erania lands stretched thousands of miles in each direction, its people are strong and sturdy; its citizens are well fed and full of culture.
The Emperor also banned the institution of Reaping ever to be spoken again.
Even if the Empire is about to fall, it is better to fall than resorting to the Reaping. The Emperor orders that magic should be researched and seeks a new alternative to Reaping.
An Enlightened Emperor loved by the people. Nobody wanted to rebel especially not when the will of the people all united in supporting the Emperor.
Be strict to the official and be generous to the people, this is the path of an enlightened ruler.
The Emperor himself authored a few books in governing and ruling which he passed down to his children.
His children all revered and aspire to become like their father, and the Crown Prince has been attending the Royal court to assist his father.
Even with all the riches of the world in the Emperor hand, the Emperor always comes to the Heaven Pavilion every morning, look up at the sky and mutter something before looking sad.
Azief once again become dejected like the day before and the day before it. He did not worry about the outside world…because he knew about the usage of the Heaven Sundering Finger.
He could bear the passage of time what he couldn’t bear was to ask the same question every day.
‘What is your regret?’
He throws the pebble he had on his finger to the artificial lake and the waves ripples inside the lake
He shakes his head and was about to go down the steps of the Heaven Pavilion when he realized something.
Like a flash of lightning it dawned on him.
For years he come to this Heaven Pavilion every morning and asks the same question. It was only today he realizes something.
He remembers something today as he remembers Alsurt once spoke to him about nature of questions.
It is one of Alsurt advice on him about being careful in asking question. In that lecture, Alsurt said, sometimes, the question is the answer.
But it could not be realized until later because while some question is the answer one had to experience the question first and then only until then he would found out that the answer was always in front of them.
His question was the answer.
And then he laughs.
‘HAHAHAHA. So that was it all about.’ It was a bitter laugh. But now he understands Azul. Truly understand him and what his regret is all about.
He looked at the sky and asks
‘Azul, I understand.’
The moment he said this, the ripple of water in the artificial lake stopped.
The wind no longer blows and leaves falling down from the trees, halted from falling down by an invisible force.
The sound of humming could be heard reverberating all inside this world. Then a gust blew by and a person appears before Azief.
He was Azul in his human form, only he seems more transcendental like he himself is the personification of Heaven.
His hair is white. No, Azief thought to shield as his eyes widened.
His hair is made of light particles and his white robe seems to be made by the essence of stars.
His feet did not truly touch the ground as he seems to be floating a few inches from the ground
‘Did you understand it?’ Azul ask. However he was smiling. Azief knew he got it right.
And Azief was also happy. This is the first time the will of Azul took a form and spoke to him. Before the will of Azul always talk to him telepathically but today, the will has taken a form.
Azief nodded.
‘You…take the same path as I did didn’t you? I thought I was doing it differently than you do, but I think you also lead the rebellion and put yourself as the highest ruler on the continent of Aethenspania.’
Azul nodded at Azief.
By now Azief did not realizes it by his body is slowly enveloped by some invisible light that is slowly shedding the body of Azul he is inhabiting as his original face is slowly appearing.
Azul look at his left and right but the n he nodded and then he added
‘True. But I didn’t not conquer the Thul’nos and the Barbarians tribe until much later. What took me 150 years to complete took you only sixty years. The policy you did have clearly speed up the processes
Azief nodded. Azul only smiles.
‘And I take a lot of concubines. Cleary you did not go down that path’
Azief was shocked to hear this but then he chuckles a bit.
Then Azul eyes glint and he ask
‘Mortal, tell me then….what is my regret?’ Azief did not think the answer was so simple. But he understands it now.
‘Your regret…was that you have no regret…and you only regretted that fact when you were enlightened and regain your original memory’ Azul smile and he nodded
Azief understand why so he then said, with a solemn face because what Azul experience is what he also experience.
‘You lost Zinar, you lost many comrade, you lost Erena and Frollo, Mauseen, Wyld, Brijna, many friends and comrade yet you keep going. Even after we both have united the Aethens, we still didn’t think it was enough. We plunge the new kingdom into war. We won….but undoubtedly there are also many that died, countless of lives and people who follow us in the first rebellion, there is only a few left. And most importantly you did not realize how much you regretted leaving Zinar until you was enlightened.’
Azul nodded.
‘Look at your finger’ Azul said and then he looks and saw something. He saw a red thread on his finger that is connecting him to someone.
‘This….’
Azul shakes his head and his face has a hint of regret and yearning.
‘In six lives and six lifetimes, not all of it I have a soul mate for me. But in this life I have one. But my life as a mortal was full of regrets but I realized it too late. I regret nothing because I was an idiot. How could one not feel regret? Even not regretting is regret. If I regret a little earlier, I would have scour my lands to seek her and bring her with me in my journey. I promise her, that when the new world is created, the world at peace, she will be beside me. Probably that is why she did not follow the Church orders. But I break my promise with her. The world is at peace, but where is she?’ he asks to no one in particular.
Probably he is asking it to himself.
‘I was too preoccupied with my ambitions that I neglected what was really important. I should have released that I regret and change it. But by the time I realized it was too late.’ Azul added and he looks at Azief.
Now that Azief thinks again, it was like the cloud over his memories is being wiped away.
And he remembers. How Zinar bright smile that is slowly fading as the years passed when she is with him.
Now, that he remembers, he could see and felt Azul heart that misses her.
‘If the flowers of our spring day could bloom again, I would trade anything for it. This is my regret in this second life.’ Azul said and he sighed.
‘The pain did not fade’ Azief said ‘…it is only hidden’ Azul nodded
‘To see her even when you close your eyes, this heart that misses her turns into regret. With each lives, how could I regret each one? I could turn heaven and Earth upside down, and change the natural order…yet why is it my heart could not be controlled?’
Azul ask Azief.
And Azief answer.
‘Because we both don’t want to control it. We didn’t want to cut our feelings. And we should face it.’ Azul smile and nodded
‘That is what I should have done. Yet….like you I also try to run away. And running away doesn’t seem to solve anything’
Azul sighed.
‘The decision of the past lives will follow you to the next lives. This is karma. As long as one did not break out from the cycle of reincarnation, one would always be trapped.’
Azief nodded a she began understanding the Grand Path of Azul. Then he ask
‘Is that it? Is that the only thing I have to realize? Just by realizing that your regret is the fact you have no regret…did I solve your regret?’ Azul nodded.
‘It is. Because now….a new future would be written’ and he smiles a mysterious smile.
And then looking at Azief with a mystifying expression, Azul said something Azief didn’t understand
‘This time….it seems you are different.’
Then he smiles and he disappeared.
And slowly this world he had lived in for sixty years slowly unraveled.
Everything in this world slowly turning into dust, and Azief immediately activated his Heaven Sundering Finger, shrouding himself with the aura that could sunder heavenly laws.
Then he too was swept by the tornado that is sweeping the world and he closes his eyes.
For a moment…or was it an eternity, he then opens his eyes.
He was back in the cave.
He looks at the Dragon giving life saber and he saw that the saber has lost its glow. Azief look at his thumb and he see it glows blue.
He casually pointed his thumb to the ground and life energy shoots out from his thumb.
The damp dead soil slowly grew fertile as the seeds deep beneath the earth sprouted and grass covered the patch of area where he pointed his thumb.
Azief smiles.
He named this finger the Life Giving Finger.
With this finger he could absorb the life energy of the world.
Before using his Death Source he could drain life of living creature to fuel his energy and vitality.
But now with this finger he knew he could take the life essence of the world and he could also use the life essence of the world to heal lifeless thing.
He could heal mountains, area and even continent.
This is the power of the saber and Azief felt that his infernal energy increase. He wanted to form the Infernal Disk that is akin to the power of the Asuras.
Killing intent that bellowed to the Heavens and could annihilate worlds.
Azief did not immediately got up as he sat down and was silent.
‘Was it all a dream? Or did I learn something?’ Azief said to himself. He remembers the sixty years he experienced in that world.
And he took time to absorb it, to calm himself down. To make sure he is not confused of which one is he and which one is Azul, which one is his life, and which one is his.
‘I need to stop for a while in refining the sabers’ He said to himself. He then rubs his finger which has his ten rings.
And he smiles.
‘I need to know what you hiding’ Azief said as he rubs his rings.
He then slowly got up. Then he walks out of the cave.
Looking at the slowly descending sun in the horizon Azief chuckles.
‘I succeeded’ He went into the cave in the morning and though sixty years passed in that world, this time, he only uses half a day to return.
But he did not immediately go to return to his Palace.
Instead he fly up in the air, and in a matter of seconds he travel so fast in the air that he broke the sound barrier in only one second as he sails the skies onto the direction of Russia.
It is spring.
And he had promised.
So, he went to her. Because he promised. And because he had decided something after living Azul life.
It is better to act upon it now that he is sure of his feelings. He doesn’t know if he would regret it. But he knows not doing anything would be an even bigger regret.
So, today, as he flew the sky, he is sure of his feeling. He wanted to have no regret.
***