Chapter 452 - Side : That Familiar Feeling
Is this… the real life?
No, no… how… how could it be real at all? Gotta be a dream, gotta be just a fantasy, yeah? He pinches himself, for sure he\'ll wake up in his hotel room on the bed, sucking his thumb, and potato chips crumbs all over his shirt.
Now that\'s the realest real right there.
"Fuckin\' ow..." Tyler whispered to himself, pinching himself, then rubbing himself. Repeating the process for like the tenth time already.
Yet he wouldn\'t wake up, so many red spots on his skin probably - and yet he was still dreaming, he was still here, he was still with her…
Her.
She complains, she whines, she moans… over and over again, she did not let a single opportunity go to remind him just how she despises every single second of every single moment with him…
And yet, she stayed.
Going strong for almost two hours now too.
Something happened somewhere along the line. He didn\'t know when or where it happened, but it happened.
All of a sudden, Amelia did like shopping.
Who would have figured?
He suggested someplace to go, and she\'d groan, roll her eyes at him, but she stopped rejecting his suggestions outright. Quietly, willingly, she just followed him wherever.
Blew his mind wide open when he suggested, "Ice-cream?" and she cocked her at him and went, "What is ice cream?"
That\'s how he found out she had a sweet tooth. Girl loves her desserts. Soon, it wasn\'t just ice cream on the menu - cakes, eclairs, anything and everything sweet - she was hesitant at first, didn\'t even wanna taste any. He ordered them all regardless, and the moment she caught a whiff and had a look at it all, it didn\'t take long then for her reservations to crumble.
Slowly but surely, he was learning, knowing her. But it wasn\'t all success. Coffee was still a no-go, she nearly spat it all out at him after having a sip. She swore she\'d never forgive him after that… but eventually came around after a round of pretzels. He kept note of that, just in case he needed to do any more apologizing in the near future.
They went around the mall, and for the majority of the time, they walked in silence. He learned quickly that she wasn\'t much a fan of bullshit convos. Unless it had a meaning, a reason, she didn\'t want to hear a single word from him, and that went both ways for her too, only speaking when she thought necessary. He had to big brain his way many times just trying to make a good conversation with her.
But soon that rule became a bit lax the more they ventured and explored. It was like she was actually enjoying herself finally… still she would complain, of course, still she would moan, but all the same as well… still she would stay.
For so long, he was always business first, fans first, making videos first. 24/7 grind with no end in sight. Been chugging for so long, he was beginning to tire.
Sooner or later, he knew he needed a break. He just never though it\'d be now.
That\'d it be her too.
It was… nice.
"I don\'t suppose there\'s a chance you might have exhausted your list of endeavors yet?" Amelia\'s voice spoke, like a siren song for his lost heart or some poetic shit like that, and that same shit-your-pants stare staring back at him. "Frankly, at this point, I desire nothing more but for an end to this suffering."
Shit, the fact that he could still hear her, that she was still here, with him after all time. For real, how wasn\'t he dreaming now? Like, why hasn\'t she gone away? How hasn\'t he fucked up yet? He always fucks this up.
He\'ll say something stupid, or he\'ll do something stupid. He ain\'t trust himself not to do it, he always does something stupid… and that\'s when she\'ll leave him, that\'s when she\'ll find out, finally wisen up, see what he what really was, after this long with him.
That he was not good enough for her… that he never has been in the first place, and never will be…
"Pardon, am I perchance, intruding on something?"
I mean, that\'s what happened last time…
Tyler then felt another ouchie, a hard tug at his arm more painful than any pinch got him blinking and seeing again, seeing her again… and her long jagged fingers around his wrist.
"Ow!" He hissed out, louder than he meant to let out.
Amelia blinked quick, then quicker than quick, she let go of him, and even quicker than all that, he saw her usual scowling face give a flicker.
There was a little rip at his sleeve now, and it was like wow, she did that that easy? As he continued to \'ooh\' and \'aah\' at it, he noticed she was really-but-not-really staring at him, very sneaky-like… she wasn\'t saying anything, but it was like she wanted to at the same time too.
Was she scared she might hurt him? Was that it? Fuckin\' no, no, no, that wasn\'t on his mind at all! You know what was, though?
She just tried to touch him. For the first time, she tried to hold him. Hell, if he was asked to jump off right then and there from the fifth floor just for another chance of that again, he\'d fuckin\' cannonball it no questions asked.
"Girl… Amelia…" Tyler spoke in her stead, whistling in awe except he didn\'t actually know how to whistle. "You got nails of mass destruction, like for real. And here I half-thought they weren\'t even real. "
He wanted to sound non-serious, he wanted to sound like he was fine… and luckily enough, she could hear it.
Amelia stopped sneaking stares, and instead just actually stared, and folded her arms like all was fine. "Daydreaming in my presence, at my expense… I daresay I was being gentle still."
"You ever thought about filing them down sometime?" He asked. "You know, make them less stabby-stabby?"
She snorted, burying her hands deeper under her arms. "They are fine as they are."
"That emo goth look really that important to you, huh?" He said, chuckling. "Ain\'t black, though. You don\'t paint them?"
At that, Amelia drew her head back. "Paint? Did I hear you right? Defile them of their natural pigment? Why would I ever think to do that in the first place? In fact, why would anybody at all?"
"All chicks do it."
"All chic…?" She furrowed her brows, giving that impatient sigh that\'s become all too familiar now. "Your tongue continues to boggle my comprehension."
"No, but for real, you never used nail polish? Not even when you\'re a kid? Never snuck into your mom\'s dresser? You gotta have painted them once. I mean, hell, even I did."
"It sounds foolish to even think."
\'Really, eh?" He snickered, glancing around at the surrounding crowds. "Guess that means we\'re all stupid fools, huh?"
Amelia followed his wandering gaze, and came upon all manners of foolishness indeed. Colors of every shade, on every nail, on every person, mostly from the younger, rowdier crowds. It wasn\'t just exclusive to fingers too. On their faces, a rosy hue on their cheeks, their lips shimmering a dark red too. She noticed this of them before, long before, but only then did she finally consider to actually ponder it.
How was that possible?
"Wait so hold up, you don\'t have any eyeliner, you ain\'t even wearing any lipstick," Tyler studied her face, scrutinizing every angle like he was that painter guy that made that Mona something. "You wear jewelry, but you don\'t use any makeup?"
She turned back to him, her pale lips, her colorless cheeks, a plain face staring back. "What is makeup?"
"You want my take? Nothing you should even bother with. Like, you beat \'em all without even trying, girl," Tyler answered. "Also, what? What\'s makeup? That\'s actually a question? You didn\'t know ice cream too. Amelia, are you sure you\'re even human?"
But before she could even say, his eyes lit with a spark of inspiration. He had a smile on again, he had an idea.
"You wanna try it?" He asked.
"No," She shot down at once. "I do not see the benefit."
Tyler smiled even wider, and without a skipping beat, walked the opposite of where they were heading originally. "Makeup it is, then!"
Amelia made another weary sound, slowly shambling after him… but she did not complain.
Tyler was pretty much swelling with pride and accomplishment. It seems like absolute horseshit a couple hours ago that she\'d even consider hanging out with someone like him… and now he was taking her all over.
Maybe this could actually work. Maybe he wouldn\'t fuck this up. Maybe this wasn\'t just a dream, after all.
It\'s been so long since he felt this kind of thing. I mean, he\'s had his fair share of being aroused, being enticed. Pretty girls are his kryptonite… but with Amelia, for some inexplicable reason… it was different.
She was different.
Just like she was… just like…
Tyler stopped. His footsteps, his smile. Straight ahead, he stared, blinked, swallowed.
"I\'m fuckin\' tripping," He whispered to himself. "No, that ain\'t her… can\'t be her…"
In the distant crowd ahead, he saw a stream of red… her red. Ginger red, he always called it. But tenderly, she told him it was auburn… and that there was a difference. He couldn\'t see it though.
"Lost, are we?" Amelia said from behind him, blowing a haughty breath. "Well, I suppose it is surprising that this has been only the first occurrence. But I highly doubt this will be the last."
Tyler heard her words, but it was like he couldn\'t listen. He could only stare, only see… on tiptoe, unblinking… across the sea of heads, he saw blacks, he saw blondes, browns…
"Red…" He whispered again, he saw, feeling a hard lump forming in his throat. "Why the hell are you even here now?"
It was coming closer, she was coming closer… too close. She mustn\'t see him. If she does, he\'ll want to see her again, feel her again. He doesn\'t want that again.
"Yeah, I\'m trippin, Amelia," Tyler said, forcing a smile, and turning around. "Makeup place is that way actually."
"As expected," She said, unimpressed.
He chuckled, stopping in an instant, and began to move them both away. Far away, and as fast as he could too.
Briefly, he glanced backward, he searched - she wasn\'t there.
But she was here.
Why was she here?
"Jen…"
Her name on his lips. He still couldn\'t say it without feeling. Why couldn\'t he just stop feeling?
That feeling.
Just like how Amelia made him feel.
"Don\'t fuck this up," He reminded himself quitely.. "Not again."