Chapter 526
I couldn’t hear how loud I was surely breathing with every breath, or feel the worsening aches in my eyes from kneeling still for so long.
Like always, with pivotal moments like these, everything else that should matter gradually begins to not matter anymore.
There was just me, just Harry, and of course, there were also those dark gazing eyes right in front of me... mirroring mine in more ways beyond just physical resemblances.
As she would presently demonstrate to me now... nudging me over closer so kind and welcoming.
“Place your hands on his chest, right next to mine,” Mom instructed, then waited for my fingers to carefully scoot beside her long black tendrils before continuing. “As I remember it, your detective friend from before has mentioned you’ve accidentally learned how to sense and attune yourself to another’s magic. Callus Sempra – as we call it. An extraordinary ability, dangerous when used too often. You remember that? I’m sure you do, because you’re still putting it to practice, aren’t you? After all, no one learns to sense and interact with a barrier that fast naturally... you little cheater.”
I don’t even have to open my mouth, she always already knows more than I can ever answer. Like, it’s a wonder I’m even able to keep any secrets from her at all.
.....
Or at least I think I’m able to...
I hope.
“This won’t be as complicated as breaking down a barrier, I promise. Be still, don’t wriggle too much, alright?”
At this point, I was ready and committing to clinging onto her order like the word of God – or so I thought, then I saw and felt as tendrils began to branch, splitting and spreading out onto my hands like wanting, yearning jaws, and suddenly I wasn’t feeling as religious anymore.
But I kept my hands firmly in place, feeling the faint rousing swell and fall of Harry’s chest, and let the gaping black jaws consume my arms whole.
I thought I’d hate the feeling, I was already bracing to revile it, but I didn’t. The darkness, the blackness, it was almost... comforting, welcoming. Well of course it was, it was her.
“We are now linked, three of us as one,” We both looked up at each other, and she smiled. “You will feel what I feel, what he feels – but only if you let it. Typically, with your experience, this whole process should be impossible for you. But lucky for you, I’m holding onto the answer sheet... so all you have to do is cheat off of me.”
Easier said than done.
“Go on then,” Mom urged. “Take a peek.”
I let my eyelids fall, plunging myself into a world where I can only hear, feel – sense.
So I sensed.
For a moment, I was completely overwhelmed. Blinded by sensations I couldn’t at all comprehend. It was that same feeling again – captivating, terrifying, consuming – the Divines’ might lingering, imposing. Like a glaring spotlight scorching my eyes.
As much as I could, I ignored it, honing my focus on the one I should be seeking, and once I did manage to sense her, I also realized why I wasn’t able to find her right away.
Mom’s presence was... concerningly faint. From a whirling hurricane to a dying breeze. Luckily somehow I could still sense an underlying strength to it, something just so distinct about it that set her apart from all others, and if not for that glaring distinction, I’m sure I’d still be looking for her.
No wonder she went so far out of her way to mask herself. If she hadn’t stunted her powers, I can’t even begin to imagine the type of presence she’d permeate all around.
“Now you and I, we share the same affinities, my powers, yours, with the only difference being experience, and perhaps the urge as well,” Mom said, her soft weakened voice echoing in the darkness. “As a result, you’ll find yourself grasping what I do a little easier than – let’s say – grasping the abilities of your Elf. But bear in mind, comprehending is different from understanding. There’s no use having the answer if you don’t know the workings to get to it yourself.”
It was as if I just flashbacked to middle school, scratching my head hopelessly at an empty page of homework, and then there was Mom sitting dutifully beside me, pencil in hand, slowly guiding me through every problem.
“I am now extracting the fragment of Grieven into my soul,” Mom firmly relayed. “Sense the process, sense how I do it, comprehend it, understand it... and then replicate it.”
Siphoning. That’s how I understood it.
Her arm tendrils acting as a bridge, a funnel, an open channel to forcefully funnel the fragment from Harry’s soul into hers.
So, I suppose I just have to open myself up to... somehow. Throw away the front door to my soul like it’s an open house.
Alrighty, then.
Without questions and without doubts, I began to mirror her, which again, was far easier said than done.
“It doesn’t have to be perfect,” She gently reminded. “You don’t need to mimic me exactly, I’ve already connected us. You only need to let him in.”
I expected to have some trouble with this. This much pressure, this short on time, fuck ups were bound to crop up... like ripe golden crops on harvest day. Picture my surprise when instead, right then, I felt no struggles.
Whatever it was that I was doing, it didn’t seem wrong, or at the very least... it didn’t feel wrong. It was almost like instinct to me, muscle memory, a second nature that was far from natural.
Then to add to my shock, suddenly I felt something – a jolt to my senses, like everything inside me lurched, convulsed... and it badly hurt. My eyes flung open wide, and the ‘what the hells’ were already piling up at the tip of my tongue. But instead of words, it was as if my very own soul had slipped out of my lips in the form of a strangled, hoarse groan... a noise that Mom seemed to understand loud and clear.
“Congratulations,” She heaved, letting out a similar sound through her beaming smile. “You let him in.”
“It... hurts...” was the only thing I managed to utter, feeling as if all motor functions had just up and left for the night.
“Yes, it does, doesn’t it?” Her head tilted left, her strained gaze somehow still managing a sympathetic look. “We’re tampering with the soul, remember? The consequences can be quite severe. Save your breath, bear with it as long as you can, and pull away immediately once you feel yourself ebbing away – do you hear me? I’m not kidding on this, alright?” Suddenly, her look softly turned stern. “Do not let him take you.”
Well... that sorta goes without saying... I had no intention of renting my body to anyone else, least of all, him. This was temporary, this was only for as long as she needed me to be here.
Any more than that and I... I... I don’t know... I don’t feel like I should be listening to her.
Maybe.
I don’t know.
Grieven felt cold – or at least I think this was Grieven, his fragment... this bitter cold surging into my arms, my body, my senses... my mind. It was as if I was sucking him up like a straw, and also as if I was sucking too fast – brain freeze, the pounding in my head. That’s what it was. More than a pounding... this feeling...
What is this feeling?
“If you feel faint right now, let go,” Mom echoed, speaking after having spoken, her gaze at me somehow in all sorts of places. “I would rather handle this alone if you do. So please be honest with me – do you?”
I managed to catch one of her many eyes, focusing only on her as everything else began to spin around her. I could see the sweat and strain, hear the trembles and quivers she still was trying to hide. All that weakness she thinks she can keep secret, I could see it. It was obvious, too obvious. So busy hiding the obvious, she couldn’t see what was already obvious, and that’s why...
“I... don’t,” I shook my head. “I’m fine...”
I could still keep mine.
I hope...