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“Ah, you’ve attained a vehicle of your own, that’s right. I’ve completely forgotten.”

“How do you forget something like that even though you hear me roaring in the driveway almost every day?” I asked, lifting one leg over the other and saddling up on the seat.

“Heard you, never saw you, Master,” She tried to justify before quickly abandoning the attempt to just simply stand and stare, and unlike with cars, it seems she didn’t hold the same kind of fascination for the two-wheeler varieties. “And now that I have, it’s umm... well, it does have quite the distinct design to it, I suppose.”

Firing up the engine had her taking a cautionary step back, which was sad. I was actually really looking forward to showing off to her.

“Master, is this safe?”

“Hey...” I tried to assuage her concerns with a smile. “Have a little faith in your master. ”

.....

“You misunderstand. I meant safe for you. This headpiece...” Ash raised the helmet, its shine gleaming with the reluctance in her gaze. “For protection, yes? And yet you’ve only one in possession. Where is yours, Master?”

“You’re holding it,” I replied, then seeing her face, quickly said. “Look, I’ll go slow. I’m used to going slow. Besides, if anything does happen, I’d feel better if you were-”

“I can handle it, Master,” She interjected, practically shoving the helmet back into my hands. “Alas, you on the other hand...”

Yep, she’s got me beat there. Sometimes I forget that Ash was not like us feeble squishy humans. Nope, she’s pretty much a she-hulk but less green and more curves. A whole lot better too, I’d argue.

Once we got the safety debacle sorted, we were finally off onto the open road much to Ash’s ever-growing and lingering regret. Not me, though. I regret nothing... especially not when she was clinging to me so tightly, constantly feeling her arms, her face, her... other things... pressing up to me so firmly. It was a wonder I could even keep driving straight at all.

First Sera, now Ash. It’s like fantasy folks have an inherent distaste for anything without four doors or any solid surface to rest their feet onto. It’s seriously a wonder they even conquered horses. In any case, bike-riding is just gonna be one of those things she’s just gonna have to learn to love, I suppose.

“Master, are you... okay?” asked Ash, bravely lifting her head up at a momentary red light to inquire. “You seem strangely... withdrawn.”

And you seem strangely perceptive for someone whose vision is ninety percent the back of my costume.

“It’s the helmet, hate talking in it,” I said, hearing my own stilted voice muffled and echoed from all around me within the dome. “And also the only passenger I ever had couldn’t speak anyway, so I couldn’t even get much practice...”

“I see.”

In truth, plain and obvious, it wasn’t actually the helmet that was bothering me. The source of my muteness was actually far away back home, closed behind my bedroom door, and sealed shut inside the bottom drawer, taking the ever-suspect form of a jagged, unevenly sculpted silver ring that no way in hell could be what I think it actually was.

Except it most probably, absolutely was.

Frederika’s ring. A mystical heirloom of the First Divine. Irene claimed it was a long-lost fairytale, didn’t she? The abilities of a God imbued within its shimmering luster... and dear ol’ Dad had it wrapped and delivered to me in literal scraps of paper like it was nothing.

How does he even have something like this in his possession in the first place? And more importantly... why the hell give it to me?

The answer to both questions was literally just one phone call away, which undoubtedly would also send me spiraling down a long lengthy rabbit hole filled with countless why, what, and hows...

Precisely why I chose not to go down that route. Not yet anyway. Not today anyway. Turns out Mom’s note was pretty great advice indeed.

Call later, when you’re free, when you’re alone.

My day today was already bogged down with shit even without these things weighing down on me. For now, I’m better off not opening that can of worms just yet... but mark my words, the second I get some time to breathe, I don’t give a shit how high I run their phone bill up, those folks just can’t get around handing out unsolicited ancient relics of boundless potential like that, it’s not how people do things around here.

Yet despite resolving not to pry too much into these thoughts, that didn’t really stop me from continuing to think about it anyway... and these thoughts just lingered on even as we reached our destination.

Big, scary, abandoned building in front, white vans and loose cables strewn across the empty lot, some spotlights and folded green screens piled inside of cardboard boxes, even with all these entering the picture, somehow that one stupid ring continued to remain my single obsession.

Just call me Smeagol or something, I guess.

“Oh, here again...” I heard Ash mutter as I killed the ignition, and hearing that slight edge to her voice had me momentarily snapping out of my stupor.

“Right, should have probably told you where we would be shooting beforehand, my bad,” I said, hissing in the cold air of bitter hindsight. “Not dredging up any bad memories, are we?”

“No, none whatsoever, Master,” She quickly, and cheerfully assured. “Presumably long buried by many more excellent ones I’ve made in the time since.”

“Good to know,” I said, then replacing my helmet with the top hat I had stashed on the bike, I shifted into character. Head arched forward, hat in a gloved hand, Chester the Suave was back and eager to steal both coins and heart.

“You know, you look quite the lonely sight basked solely in your own beauty and charm,” I said to her, putting on the thickest, smoothest I could muster with a smile, with an awe-stricken sigh for extra effect. “lovely but lonely,” then I offered her my arm, arching a little more. “Allow me to amend that, won’t you?”

For her part, Ash looked quite taken aback. Her wide green eyes batting in sync with the twitching of her ears. “Ahh... I see... huh...” She gave a short bewildered giggle. “Indeed, this is quite the outlandish role they have chosen you to play. A charming swindler of hearts, I presume?”

“Swindler? Me? The Earnest Chester?” My lips parted to a toothy smirk. “Ah, my fair lady, if there were any string of words in the world to murder the benevolence of a man, you’d have done it. And quite effectively at that.”

Ash hopped off the bike, smiling just as wide. “Oh, do forgive me, indeed, won’t you? I meant no offense by what I said. A simple curiosity’s blame, excuse my words.”

“Fortunately, mesmerizing beauty seems to be my one fatal weakness,” I raised my arm out again. “And for you, my dear lovely Elf, believe me, I have more than just kindness to offer.”

“O-Oh...” Ash stammered, her gaze still ridden in disbelief. “I... I think perhaps I might come to like this... this, erm... you...”

Okay, roleplay’s a major interest for her. Noted.

“Music to my ears,” I whispered, then making a move, I coupled my arm around hers, asking once, before taking the very first step into whisking away into the entrance. “Well then, shall we?”

“A swindler undoubtedly, and also a very good one at that, it seems,” She muttered, leaning onto me and allowing herself willingly complicit to my whims. “Very well, Chester. If you would have me.”

“Have you?” I lightly chuckled. “As modest as you are marvelous, clearly.”

We headed inside, trailing the seemingly endless bridge of wires across the hall and echoing footsteps as our only lead. And it wasn’t before long we encountered another kindred soul in the godforsaken building.

Far from the distance, that person was quite a welcoming sight, but then as we got nearer, closer... and that person became blonder, handsomer... he started not looking as welcoming a sight as before.

Garbed in the finest hero robes, and carrying this great palpable air of main-charactertinitus, Leonardo the Hero sprung out of his leaning pose against the dilapidated concrete wall and immediately came charging in our direction.

And I get this strange feeling it wasn’t because he saw me.

“Ash!” He called out, the vacant hallway reverberating his shock and delight. “You’re here! She’s here! You brought her here? And you’re early. Wow, you’re early. You’re early and with Ash! Oh, and the party! Thanks for the invite! Good times! Hope you like your gift by the way.”

I took a second to decide which sentence he spoke to try and spring off of, because that was a mouthful, alright.

“Early, yes, good to see you too,” I said. “And as you firmly stated, I have indeed brought Ash with me. Wanted to see how movie magic works. Hope that won’t be a problem.”

“It is a delight having made your acquaintance again,” Ash stepped forward, bowing her head. “As my Master has stated, I hope I will not pose a problem that would impede you in any way.”

“Problem? No, no, not at all! You’re more than welcome to sit back,” Leon said, never once even looking at me, and at all times since the first second, gazing only at her. “In fact, if you want to Ash, you can do more than just watch.”

“More than just watch?” I cocked my head at him. “You mean act?”

“Why not?” For the first time, he glanced at me, only for a second though. “You’d agree, right? She’d fit right in!”

Won’t deny that, but...

“You’re seriously gonna throw her into the middle of production? Don’t think the director would be too keen on that.”

“Nah, I’ll convince him,” He said, shaking his head, deaf to any and all rational arguments. “Besides, we’re still just setting up. Then there’s the B-Roll, the Elidna introduction. Our actual scenes won’t even come until much later. Plenty of time to find a way to squeeze you in. Trust me, it won’t even be a problem.”

No problem, he says. Mmm, well, I’m beginning to think I might just be staring at one right about now...

Just a feeling, of course.