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“Dad has both of their ashes in our house, and he’s made sure to keep them always close together. And since they’re both gone now, there really wasn’t much of a reason to visit here anymore. Until now, anyway…”

Amanda began to wander away again, slowly yet briskly at that same tranquil pace. I quietly followed after her, keeping close to her side as always, hearing her sniffle and cough behind her red scarf.

Then we rounded a corner, and the streets slightly opened up to the entrance of an old, empty playground. The monkey bars were withering away with old paint and rust, the see-saw was only barely visible under a mound of snow, and two out of three slippery slides present were practically accidents waiting to happen.

All I could think about was all the years of accumulated grime and exposure surely permeating every square inch of the place. Amanda, on the other hand, couldn’t probably see a damn thing behind all the bright twinkling in her eyes.

“Seriously, Amanda?” I groaned.

“Hey,” she furrowed her brow. “That’s my childhood you’re groaning at.”

“And you’re sick.”

.....

“You’ll be careful. Now come on – ” Amanda rushed ahead, hopping and skipping before landing herself on a set of swings, and promptly taking a seat. “- just a few pushes, alright? This won’t collapse, I promise! It’s been here years, it’ll take more than my fat ass to take it out, trust me.”

Even without the rest of her adorable face, Amanda could still somehow send my heart wavering by just hunching her shoulders and slumping her head a little, slowly swaying herself around in place like the tail of a puppy… and goddamn it, I’m too easy.

I finished the rest of my drink, sending it bumping and thumping all the way down a nearby waste bin. Amanda had her long legs swinging eagerly in the air in anticipation, and resigning myself to her whims for like the hundredth time running, I rounded behind her, and gently with my hands on her back, fingers seeping between the seams of her hair, I pushed.

Immediately, creaks and squeaks resounded, and the rusted chain on her seat quivered and strained under her heft, but as Amanda swung again back at me, I pushed again, and again, and again…

“See?” Amanda threw back a glance, in that one brief moment at her highest, her eyes glinting happily. “Now we’re having fun, right?”

“Like you’re eight years old all over again, I’m guessing,” I said, stepping a bit back as she gathered momentum. “Feels just like old times?”

“Better, actually…” She replied, her scarf unraveling, unveiling, as she turned back again, an endearing smile across her pale lips. “Now that you’re here…”

Her promise of just a few pushes wound up simply forgotten and ignored; not that I minded it in particular. It was nice to pause for a bit, to settle down at a place for longer than a second to just take in everything.

Her long, blond locks blowing along with the breeze and shimmering behind the dazzling orange of dusk, the migration of birds soaring high in the misty overcast skies, and if I pushed just right, the momentum was good enough – Amanda looked to be almost flying among them.

“So…” she said so suddenly, dragging her feet and slowing us to a more gentle pace.

“So…” I said right back.

“You’re not gonna ask me?” she asked.

“Ask what?” I asked her right back.

“Why I made you come down here and relive my childhood with me all of a sudden,” she clarified. “I expected that to be like the first thing out of your mouth.”

“I figured you were already gonna explain that to me sooner or later,” I said, pushing her again. “It took a while, but here we are now. You’re getting predictable, Amanda. Keep up.”

Amanda snorted, amused in spite of herself, and with her legs still swinging, took to the skies once more.

“All that talk about your past before had me thinking of my own, you see,” she said. “And I figured – since you told me about yours. I might as well share mine with you too.”

“Makes sense to me,” I nodded my head. “Though it does beg the question as to why you couldn’t have just shared it with me over another cup of tea or something back at your place.”

“Because it wouldn’t feel right like that,” she said, coughing a little again. “This place was my childhood, lots of memories, special memories. Now I have you, and with you comes more memories, lots and lots of special moments that we’ll always share together. It-It’s just a weird thing with me, but I want more than that. I want more than just that with you.”

“Meaning what, exactly?” I asked.

“I want to do more than just tell you what I was like back then. I want you to really be there. My special memories, I want to show them all to you, share every single little thing I’ve done. And yeah, it’s a little creepy, I know. A little bit overbearing, I suppose… you’re allowed to be weirded out by it if you want to. Because it is. Weird, I mean.”

“And just what’s so weird about it?” I held onto her chains, stopping her momentarily to stare and smile. “Sure, it’s a bit of a step up from flipping through the pages of a photo album, but what’s so weird about wanting to share your past with me?”

“I don’t know – I mean, your typical couple doesn’t really go on near hour-long road trips just so one of them can show the other all the things they did eight-nine years ago, do they?”

“And since when exactly did we become your typical couple?” I asked her, and just what do you know – the comeback queen was coming up short of genuine retorts.

Amanda began to slow down again, her legs plowing through the white snow, and coming to a stop.

“I have the rest of my life with you to spend with you, the rest of my life to make more special memories, each one better than the next. I have so much already to look forward to. But, to me, that’s not enough…”

She looked up, meeting my gaze again, and once more, her eyes welled with that same look of pure nostalgia, of that deep fondness she wore rifling through everything across these precious, treasured memory lanes.

Except this time, I was the only thing she was staring at in this town brimming with so many special memories.

“I’m crazy in love with you,” she whispered. “More than I’m even aware of, I think. Every time I think I reached a limit, you’d do something to just set it even higher. It’s down to the point where I don’t think there even is a limit to how much I’m in love with you. It’s honestly kinda scary sometimes, you know?”

A chuckle.

“And so that’s why, the rest of my life is not enough…” She was close, so close, and lingering for so long… as if her entire world right then seemed to exist only within a single inch of her reach, of her stare. “I want to share my whole entire life with you too.”

Then, as a crisp gust of wind dwindled, as the nearby trees died its rustle, gradually, a smile appeared on her lips again.

“Go on,” she urged me. “Tell me that’s not just a little bit creepy to you, I dare you.”

I just smiled back.

“Have you forgotten who exactly you’re sharing your entire life with?” I said, pressing my head against hers amidst all the cotton and wool pestering my nostrils. “Being in your life with you is one of the things in my life I always look forward to the most.”

Through the sweltering blaze of her fever, I could almost vaguely feel her temperature briefly spike up a little, and upon lifting myself away, her eyes were darting all over the place.

Intimate flattery had never been her strongest suit, after all.

“You’re… you’re not just saying that, are you?” she asked, stumbling over her words with a cough. “It’s fine if you are, it works – corny as it is, it really works – more than I actually care to admit, but…”

I shook my head at her, smiling, chuckling… at a complete loss as to how she could ooze so much with confidence and also still quiver and squirm with insecurities.

This girl really doesn’t have a clue.

“You need to start realizing this one thing, Amanda. Listen, alright?” I said to her, as firmly and as clearly as I could so she wouldn’t forget; a special memory for her imprinted forever. “I am just as crazy for you as you are with me.”