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“You know, this would have been easier if you both hadn’t gotten married in the first place,” Tom said in a more serious tone. “At least she won’t be chained by your decision of not wanting a child and you won’t be feeling this way about having one.”

“What are you insinuating? Leon asked between clenched jaw.

“Calm down bro, we’re just having a friendly discussion. I don’t want you to punch my face with the way your glaring at me right now.” Tom said in a slightly amused tone.

“Can you be less annoying and just go straight to the point?” Leon asked impatiently. “Otherwise, a punched face will be the least of your worries.”

“O...kay!” Tom drawled. “What I’m trying to say is that most women that I know, go into marriage with the hopes of having children of their own.”

“But I told her from the onset that having children is not allowed.” Leon put up a defensive look.

“I guess you also told her that falling in love and getting married for life wasn’t allowed at the beginning right?” Tom quizzed in a slightly irritated tone.

Leon sat back as he felt lashed by Tom’s words.

.....

“That’s true but things changed. We both fell madly in love with each other.” Leon sighed as the thought of him cheating on his wife flooded his mind again and made him feel like a worthless husband.

“There you have it.” Tom pointed out a little bit dramatically. “You didn’t plan for love but love happened. You didn’t plan to make babies but a baby is on the way. Life is beautiful and full of amazing surprises. What you have to do is take things one step at a time.”

“I wish things sounded as easy as you’re putting it right now.” Leon breathed out forced air. “You of all people know that I love my ladies looking hot and sexy at all times. I mean, I can’t stand a shapeless lady. When I’m looking for an ass to dig into then a bulging stomach would get in the way of my fun.”

“Hahaha!” Tom roared with laughter, causing him to choke on his drink.

“That serves you right,” Leon chuckled as he watched Tom clear his throat.

“I thought you said we should be serious here, bro? Look who’s having a whimsical sense of humor.” Tom coughed again to clear his airways. “By the way, marriage is not all about ass-digging, there is more to it.”

“I know Tom, I’m just kidding.” Leon grinned briefly. “The truth is that I’m not ready to be a father and I don’t want to lose my beautiful wife to some needy little monsters.”

Tom ruptured in another hysterical laughter causing some disapproving heads to turn in their direction.

Unperturbed by the resentful eyes glaring in their direction, Leon continued on his one hundred-and-one speech on the reason why he hates kids. Unburdening his heart to Tom somehow made him feel relaxed and a bit cheerful.

“You know, I was fortunate to stay around my older sister for a few days when she gave birth to her son. That little man never stopped whining and crying his eyes out. He was like a nightmare, giving his parents sleepless nights. The only time I got to enjoy the presence of my nephew was when he was past that infant/toddler crying stage.”

“Who wasn’t like that when they were little?” Tom raised an eyebrow as he stared at Leon in bewilderment. “Do you know how you were acting around that infant stage? I think I need to call mum and get an answer.” Tom ended his statement with another row of laughter.

“If you try that, I’ll have your head on a silver platter.” Leon threatened amidst chuckling.

“In all sincerity, I love my wife but I don’t know if I will still be attracted to her when she goes out of shape. Come to think of it, how do I make love to her without squishing whatever is developing in her tummy, huh?”

“Man you just need to research ways to make love to a pregnant woman. Obviously, lying on top of her will be a suicidal mission. Also, don’t forget that pregnancy is not for a lifetime. It’s just for nine-month but in your case, you have seven months or less to wait. Afterward, you will have your sexy wife any way you want her.”

“I don’t think I can wait that long,” Leon scoffed.

“Okay bro, I’m sorry. I’m the wrong person to complain to about pregnancy and kids. Because, unlike you, I really love kids a lot. I mean, I would be jumping on the roof of the highest building if Denise came to me today, telling me she’s pregnant. This is the dream of most married couples but, unfortunately, you don’t feel that way.”

“Well, we are both different. One man’s meat is another man’s poison.” Leon said sardonically. He was slightly pissed as Tom wasn’t vibing in his direction.

“Cliche!” Tom smiled.

“But bro, I wish I knew the right words to say that will make you feel less miserable. I wish I could tell you that Ella messed up big time by getting pregnant for you. I wish I could tell you that marrying her was a mistake. I wish I could tell you that having kids will be the worst thing in your life. However, as ridiculous as this may sound to you, you are the luckiest man alive to have Ella as your wife. I just hope you don’t do something you would later regret.”

“Whatever man,” Leon waved his hand dismissively.

“Were you able to talk to Denise about what I told you?” Leon quickly change the line of discussion as Tom’s advice was beginning to irritate him.

“Hmm...” Tom chuckled as the little conflict between Denise and him replayed in his mind.

“The only thing I can tell you Leon is that if you think your wife is aggressive than my soon-to-be wife is the queen tigress. She would literally slit my throat if I step out of line by a fraction.”

“Then you’re doomed!” Leon burst out laughing.

“No, not just me, the both of us,” Tom snickered. “She asked me to deliver this message to you, word for word: ‘if you hurt her best friend in any way, you will be visited with the fury of a wounded lion.\'”

“Oooooo... I’m scared.” Leon sneered.