BXBX NOVEL Chapter 596: Insecurities on Both Sides
Chapter 596: Insecurities on Both Sides
This chapter is from Lily\'s perspective.
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"Um…. If we\'re going to be admitting to things…" started Lily hesitantly. Even with Kat\'s admittance Lily felt it was a more reasonable question. Kat simply didn\'t know, and ignorance was never something you should be made fun of for, especially in Lily\'s mind. Of course, she ignored this when it came to herself. Especially since a lot of her concerns had to do with Kat\'s opinions. Things Lily really had to ask to find out.
"I… see I was wondering…" Lily found the words hard to say, and Kat noticed this. She pulled Lily onto her knee so that she still had access to Lily\'s back where she started tracing circles. Lily let the motions calm her down.
*Why is this so hard?! Kat was able to tell me she feels bad about the fact she left me with Mum even if it was the right thing to do. I didn\'t even really answer her. I said it was fine, and it was. I don\'t hold it against her and I don\'t even know what I\'d prefer she did if it happened again. I mean I didn\'t even give her an answer I just kissed her. Which was great somehow despite my- No Lily don\'t get lost in the kiss. Focus. Just ask her. It\'s not hard. And think about a proper answer for Kat. She deserves one even if you don\'t have one. She deserves it.*
"What… um… what exactly… no ok let\'s not do that." Lily aborted her attempt to ask Kat what she liked, thinking it might sound like fishing for compliments after Kat had shared genuine worries. "See… ok… look. With this Memphis transformation, as far as I\'m aware they make a whole new body for me… so… I… would you like me to change anything?"
The look of utter confusion on Kat\'s face was a balm to her soul that she didn\'t know she needed. Lily felt herself shiver as she let out a long sigh. *I don\'t know why I thought she\'d do anything else. I know some girls that would kill for the chance to look better, many of them just to snag a boyfriend, and my girlfriend can\'t even figure out why I\'d ask the question. If that doesn\'t destroy any body image issues I had nothing well.*
Lily gave Kat a quick kiss on the cheek which brought a smile to Kat\'s face. Didn\'t chase away the confusion, but Kat would happily accept kisses. Lily seeing this debated explaining further or not but decided it was worth it. Even if Kat didn\'t want her to change anything she might. "I see you\'re confused," Lily cringed as she said it, but didn\'t really know what else to start off with, "but what I mean is… I can basically design a whole new body for myself and I\'m thinking about if I should change anything? What do you think?"
Kat still looked slightly confused but she answered, "I mean… that\'s completely up to you isn\'t it? It\'s your body"
*No Kat. Well, yes, it is my body but I feel like you should get some say in this. I don\'t spend any time looking at myself. Actually, if we\'re thinking about it this way it\'s a much more important choice for Kat because she\'s the one that would get to admire the results more often.*
"True but you\'re the one who would be looking at it most of the time. So if you had the chance to change anything what would you change?" asked Lily as innocently as she could, knowing this line on questioning was a bit leading.
"Nothing" Kat answered easily and Lily felt herself melt into Kat\'s side.
*Oh yes. I have the best girlfriend. Given the chance to basically customize me she choses to completely ignore the option. Then prompted to pick just one thing. Just one… and she still chooses nothing.
Ok now that I\'ve soaked up that high praise I should explain why that answer isn\'t quite ideal.* "Well, that\'s sweet and all Kat but some things will have to change. Like I\'m pretty sure at the very least I\'ll end up with cat ears and a tail. Maybe a horn as well which I really hope isn\'t going to be in a place that\'s easy to lock with your horns. Then the eyes. I really don\'t know if I\'ll end up with cat eyes or not.
"Along with that… should I be taller? Shorter? With the tail and ears my balance will have already changed and my bones and muscles might as well. So relearning to walk would be on the list anyway. Oh and glasses. I won\'t need those afterwards. I guess I could ask them not to fix my eyes… but that feels wrong."
Kat first gave Lily a hug and then got a thoughtful look on her face. "Well… I don\'t really care about the eyes. I like your eyes, but if they have to be changed that\'s fine. I… I\'m not sure if they\'d be better or worse after the change, I guess I\'d have to see… but I\'ll let you make that call yourself. I really have no idea.
"I totally agree with the horns. If you do still have one in your human form the most important thing is that it doesn\'t get in the way. Sadly I think it would get in the way pretty much wherever they are… so that might be an issue. Something we can work around easily, but an issue none the less. Um… as for height…"
Kat actually got a sheepish look at that and Lily found her curiosity peaked. *I wonder what Kat\'s going to say about that. Does she like me being short? Would she rather I was taller? I find myself strangely curious. It\'s weird because I know it isn\'t a kink, but why would she focus on my height otherwise?*
"I think it should stay about the same. I mean, if it changes a bit that\'s fine or if you really want to change it that\'s fine too… but it just works so well." Lily gained a slight tinge of confusion to her eyes which Kat noticed and continued to explain. "Ok, look… I hope this doesn\'t sound weird but you\'re like the perfect height when compared to me.
"You\'re just short enough that when I hug you, you can burry your face in my shoulder, but if you\'re sitting on my lap like this you can lean against my face. On top of that you aren\'t so short that it\'s awkward to lean down and kiss you, and you\'re tall enough to kiss me without trouble. Plus if we\'re side by side on the cough or something and I slouch you can rest on your shoulder and I can rest on your head. It just sort of works."
*Holy shit Kat found a practical reason to care about my height. I mean… she\'s shockingly correct. I hadn\'t really noticed. I mean I did but I don\'t think I considered just how unlikely it would be for all of these things to work out. The most thought I\'ve put into Kat\'s height is how long it makes her legs. Mmm. Legs.*
Lily shook herself again, knowing that a serious conversation was not the time to think about how great Kat\'s legs where. Most of the time it probably wasn\'t quite appropriate but it was also well worth it most of the time so that was fine. Before Lily could get too lost though Kat actually had more points to make, which was as slight surprise. "I suppose you could make yourself taller, so that you were the same amount taller than me as I currently am you… but I just feel like my horns would get in the way."
"Ok so certainly no height change" said Lily with finality. "I don\'t really care about my height that much," *Because who cares how tall I am? My girlfriend\'s height is much more important.* "so keeping it the same is no trouble. Are you sure about the eyes? What about fixing them?"
Kat shrugged. "I said already that you can make that choice. As to your glasses… well… I\'m not so sure. I think it would look strange to see you without your glasses considering I\'ve always known you to have them. I guess it would be up to you? I thought it looked a little strange those few times you wore contacts… but I could get used to it"
*Hmmm, that\'s… I\'m not sure what to make of that. I agree with Kat I like my glasses. I don\'t really want to get rid of them either… yeah ok. Keep the glasses. What about my hair though? I can change a lot about my hair…*
"Hey Kat what about my hair?" asked Lily
"What about it? It looks nice and I enjoy rubbing my face in it. Wait… does that sound weird? I think it sounds weird but maybe it was just phrasing?" said Kat unsure.
*My girlfriend likes my hair! My scratchy all over the place, overly bushy but plain brown hair.*? Sometimes it was nice fishing for compliments. Even if it was an accident.