Chapter 19: Volume I - 18: First Steps of Friendship
Chapter 19: Volume I - Chapter 18: First Steps of Friendship
As Adrian and I walked side by side on the walkway, I turned on my watch, enlarged and enlarged the hologram that popped up in front of us, and then I entered a map of the campus and showed it to Adrian.
"This way you can find your way around the campus without getting lost. The map is up to date and it\'s not limited to the borders of the academy. It also has a navigation feature."
Adrian must have seen this for the first time because he looked at the map with interest. He then tried the same things I had done with his watch so that he now had a holographic map in front of him as well.
In this way, based on the map, I walked with Adrian around all the important points of the campus and constantly observed him without him noticing.
I tried to make at least simple inferences about his personality and his thoughts.
Truth be told, the situation was not very pleasant, just as I had expected.
Adrian is definitely heavily influenced by his past. His facial expression doesn\'t change at all, except for a frown, a slight lowering of his face and sometimes he looks surprised. So it\'s almost certain that he\'s suffering from PTSD, and that alone is quite enough to be the first steps in leading him down a bad path.
I absolutely have to guide him. Because Adrian\'s place is crucial to the survival of humanity in the hellish future of this world. If he is not with us but against us, it is not hard to imagine what will happen then.
With these thoughts in mind, as we reached the end of our trip, I looked at the time and frowned when I realized that it was already close to seven. I quickly looked at the position of the sun and then realized that it was setting. I was so engrossed in this tour that I lost track of time.
Adrian spoke at this moment, expressionless as always.
"Thank you, I learned a lot."
Well, at least he seems more \'alive\' than before. Even if it was a small step, I think I managed to get closer to him as a friend.
"You\'re welcome, I\'ll set up the study group when I get home. Since all three of us are in the same class anyway, our schedules will be similar, so we can get started quickly."
Adrian didn\'t say much when I brought up Julian and then squinted briefly at the setting sun. He looked like he had something he wanted to tell me, so I turned my attention to him.
"Aiden, you\'re mysterious. Do you know? Sometimes... you seem... soulless, sometimes you grin in the most annoying ways, and sometimes... you look and act like you know things about me that even I don\'t know."
Sighing slightly, I went to a bench that didn\'t have many people around and sat down, then looked at the setting sun, as did Adrian. Adrian came over to me at this time, but he didn\'t sit on the bench.
There was a moment of silence between us, a short one.
"There are probably differences in what we are going through, Adrian. Everyone has their own life, no one knows exactly who lives what."
How can I go on from here?
Actually... Isn\'t this a perfect opportunity? Yes, it really is.
It\'s ridiculous to hesitate. It\'s a bit irrelevant, but... I can get straight to the point. Because if Adrian can ask such a question to someone he met on his first day, then he\'s really confused.
"If there\'s one thing I know, though, it\'s that we\'re a bit alike."
Maybe I\'m going to make things up and not tell the whole truth. It might not be very ethical to treat my new \'friend\' in this way. Still, if I can put him on the right path, I can\'t say that I care much about these \'ethics\'.
"There\'s only one thing I\'m curious about... How can you smile?"
Adrian sat down on the bench with me and then took a deep breath.
Has it been two days since we met? Is he letting out what he\'s been holding inside until now? Was he looking for someone to talk to, someone to confide in?
If so, I have no problem talking to him.
"I\'m strong, I\'m powerful, but I don\'t know what I should use this power for. I\'m alive, but at the same time, I don\'t feel like I\'m alive. When I see my peers laughing and having fun around me, I want to be like them, but I can\'t. So how can you laugh? You may be wondering why I\'m asking you this, it\'s a bit childish, but you give me such a feeling that I feel like you\'re not in this world. You said we\'re similar, but there are so many differences between our lives and our current living conditions. So, I\'m wondering, if we are alike, how can you laugh?"
Well... How am I supposed to answer that now?
I thought for a short while, we had come to this point so quickly and suddenly that I didn\'t have much in my mind. So I decided to speak in terms of myself.
"Have you ever desired anything before, no matter what it was?"
"I guess not."
\'I guess\' huh... I mean, I guess it\'s not a very good thing, since he desired something but he couldn\'t tell me about it.
"Then what you need to do is find yourself a desire, I think."
Adrian looked at me with a frown, but I ignored him and kept talking.
"You said you have power but you don\'t know what to use it for. You said you were alive but you didn\'t feel alive. I was once like you."
Yes, I used to be like that too, even though there were significant differences between us.
There were many people and companies who tried to attract me because of my success compared to my peers, but I could never decide what I should do because of the emptiness in my heart.
When I realized my loneliness in life over and over again, there were times when I didn\'t feel like I was living just like him.
So I know what Adrian is trying to say.
"So how can I smile now? The reason is simple. I realized that there are still things in this world that I desire. I was just like you, lonely, ordinary, powerless, and without a reason to move forward, but then I got an opportunity."
Sighing slightly, I double-clicked my watch, went into my gallery, and opened the photo I had screenshotted the last time I was talking to Clara and showed Adrian, my sister.
"This is my sister, Clara."
Adrian looked at the hologram expressionlessly and then back at me. I smiled and looked at his face for the first time during our conversation.
"She was the one who worried about me in this world and kept reaching out to me even when I didn\'t care about her. I distanced myself from her my whole life and so there was a wall between us. And then I realized that I was an asshole and that I was still only eighteen, so I could still get better, it was still early in my life, and I could still fix my relationship with her and become someone else. The desires that I found in myself in this way are to change this ordinary and monotonous life that I was living by experiencing things that I had never experienced before while being strong enough to protect the ones I love."
Adrian\'s face turned somber after my words.
"I have no family."
"I know, that\'s exactly why I told you all this."
I closed the photo of Clara and then smiled, turning back to the sunset.
"What you need to do is to find something, a goal, or someone in your life to value. It can be friendships, the desire to be the strongest in the world or even love. It may not even be a \'person\' you need to find in the first place. You don\'t necessarily have to set yourself a social goal. Things like the desire for power can also pave the way. If you open your eyes and take note of your surroundings and really try, instead of running away from yourself, then I believe you can find something that will make you feel alive. If you ask me, it is possible for anyone to change as long as they try hard enough."
I turned my gaze back to Adrian and held out my hand to him and he looked at me with a puzzled look on his face.
"You know, you\'re the first person I\'ve hung out with in my life and probably the first person I\'ve talked to the longest at one time. With that in mind, I think the first opportunity for both of us to \'grow\' is right now, right in front of us."
His eyes widened as if he understood what I meant. I continued to smile as I seemed to have achieved my goal.
I knew instantly that he needed a stimulus from the question he asked me while looking at the sunset. The fact that he opened up even though we had just met, even though he didn\'t know if he could trust me, and even though there was a possibility that I might make fun of him, clearly showed how desperate a situation he was in.
Adrian needed someone who could truly guide him, unlike Lithoa, who helped him grow stronger.
And I am willing to take that role.
*(A/N: I\'ve said it before, but I want to say it again. There is no BL in the story.)*
Adrian looked at my hand and my smiling face for a long time. Seeing his indecision, I pulled my hand back slightly.
"There\'s nothing I can do if you don\'t want to, after all, as I said, you have to work to change."
"Uh- No! I... I want to change too..."
Adrian quickly countered my words. I was a little startled by his sudden outburst since he had been so expressionless and silent until now.
He quickly grabbed my hand, which I had only withdrawn about four centimeters, squeezed it, and then looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes, as if he was burning with the desire to change himself. This brought a smile back to my face.
"So, let\'s get properly reintroduced. I\'m Aiden Tenebra and I\'m eighteen. I don\'t really know anyone besides my sister, so you\'re technically my first friend in the world. Nice to meet you, Adrian."
Adrian timidly forced himself to smile, but it was so awkward that I was beginning to wonder if it was really that hard to smile.
"Adrian Caleo, nice to meet you too..."
Under the sun that had already disappeared behind the horizon, I felt a wave of excitement spreading through me at the sight of Adrian, who was somehow smiling, even if it was forced.
Today, I became friends with the person I have envied the most in my entire life; Adrian Caleo.
However, to be honest, the smile on my face was not because I had successfully taken the first step toward the goal of fixing him. Rather, it was that strange, pleasant feeling of experiencing something that I had never experienced before in my old life.
It was the joy of making a friend.