BXBX NOVEL Chapter 362 361: Goron Conquered
Jahi PoV
Wiping the sweat from my brow, I cleaned myself off with Light Mana before glancing down at Anput and Leone, both of my fiancee\'s still sprawled out on the bed, fast asleep.
Smiling softly, I rolled out my shoulders as I stood nude in our confiscated room, feeling much better after indulging for an hour or two.
Walking back over towards the window, I looked out over the slightly fire lit cityscape with a smile, our mission for today accomplished.
Goron had fallen to the Empire, and from here on out it would be under our control.
Most likely, Mom and the others were still debating the specifics for the imminent future with the remaining smart humans, letting them understand how the city would be run and who would be coming to take over for us when we left.
Adelina would likely leave one of the Cohorts behind to keep the city from getting any ideas before having them rejoin us later, but for now we were resting, waiting for the orders to move out and continue on with the Crusade.
Either way, I was able to unwind a little before we continued on, and this time would be useful to figure things out.
Sitting in a chair, I stared out over the castles gardens, taking a deep breath and contemplating today.
My actions were unforgivable to certain extents, and they were all self serving, unnecessary things that I had done.
Each caused my fiancee\'s to question me, and each one only fueled on my own darker lust more than it should have ever reached.
Do I still think that I would need to release some of that lust?
Absolutely, but...
Glancing back at Anput and Leone, I shook my head and chuckled as I realized once more how selfish of a woman I was.
I expected and demanded so much from them, yet I never seemed to do much FOR them.
Maybe I could try and argue that being married to me, as well as giving themselves to me was more than enough payment, as I secured their futures and satisfied their bodies with each round we \'sparred\' in bed, but... that would be a blatant lie.
There was more to what we had then just satisfying our lusts and wealth.
We meshed together well as a group - a family - and I wanted to maintain that balance, even if one part of our family was currently missing.
And in order to do so, I needed to step up and mature, to start taking responsibility for my actions and do what was right, not what I wanted.
The first would be to restrain myself going forwards, to explore different avenues of sexual expression between us all so that I could both continue to satisfy them and maintain my restraint.
Going celibate at this point was practically impossible, both for me and for them, so I needed to find ways to keep things fresh, exciting, and satisfying for us all.
My earlier idea of exploring their kinks further and implementing slight amounts of my own was something I needed to think about, and my ideas on that front were already multiplying as I stared over their naked figures, both still glistening with sweat and other fluids.
Turning back to the garden, I pushed the sexual side of our relationship away, wanting to instead focus on what truly needed to be confronted.
Going forwards without... her.
For the foreseeable future, we would be on our own - just us three - and we needed to learn how to rely on one another just a little bit more, instead of relying entirely on her.
Of course, my heart still ached fiercely at the thought of her being gone, and I... couldn\'t even bring myself to mutter her name, too ashamed of myself and hurt to even think of doing so.
That was something I couldn\'t solve on my own, but what I could work on better was opening up and expressing myself to them more, even if it was small things that didn\'t really matter.
I... haven\'t been the most bearable woman to be tied to, that much I am aware of, but I was also unsure of how to change.
To me, actions meant more than words, and I believe I had been rather forthright in most of my actions with them...
Though, improvements could always be made, and I was certainly biased towards my own actions.
Letting out a low sigh, I lounged on the chair as I watched the sun descend completely, shrouding the slightly burning city in night, leaving me alone in comfortable silence as they continued to rest behind me.
~~~
NIrinia PoV
Sighing, I banged my head against the wall as I moved away from the room Lady Jahi had occupied, my mind still reeling from the moans and screams echoing out of the room.
The Marquess had sent me to check on her daughter a few minutes ago, and after searching for a bit I had found them, but... yeah, it wasn\'t something I wanted to listen to.
Voyeurism wasn\'t my thing.
However, their obvious lovemaking reminded me that I myself had been celibate for an unusual amount of time now.
Weeks of being alone in a bed resurfaced in my mind, and I bit my cheek as I stifled a groan, feeling my body react immediately.
Finding a random room, I slipped inside and collapsed onto the bed, suddenly feeling tired as I stared up at the dark ceiling.
Laying my forearm over my eyes, I took a deep breath as I tried to calm myself down, feeling the desire to embrace a woman slowly rise and fall randomly.
"Damnit Adelina... what the hell am I meant to do now?"
I didn\'t want to hurt my already slim chances with the Lioness by seeking out another woman, but I was also reaching the end of my rope in that regard, the stress piling up from everything that\'s happened.
Every time I close my eyes at night, the sight of her bleeding, broken body enters my mind, and I jolt awake, unable to sleep as I worry that someone else was going to hurt her, going to take her from me.
Even now, I had to resist the urge to open my eyes and return to the Council Hall, where I knew she was giving out her orders to the Councilors, all while the Marquess and Lady Sker acted as her bodyguards and advisors.
I hadn\'t had a full night of sleep since then, and I usually spent my nights somewhere near her tent, staring up at the stars as I wondered what I needed to do to rid myself of these feelings.
It would have been so much easier if she hadn\'t reminded me of times long gone.
I could have severed the last small amount of love I had for her and moved on, continuing with my life unbothered by the idea of marriage or having a partner of any kind besides sexual.
And yet, here I lay, completely focused and incapable of doing anything besides worrying about her, thinking of her...
Even though I had begun to hate how she invaded each thought I had, I couldn\'t bring myself to blame her for anything.
That was why I cared for her, after all.
It was because she was who she was that I had once fallen for her, and here we were now...
"Goddess above, I fucking hate this all. I hate that I still care... Yet I don\'t want to stop caring..."
Sighing once more, I sat up and straightened out my armor before exiting the room, making my way back to the Councilor Hall.
Hopefully an actual bed would put me to sleep tonight.