BXBX NOVEL Chapter 72 - Inconsiderate, Not Malicious
Chapter 72 - Inconsiderate, Not Malicious
Jeremy staggered hearing what Jerlina said. He stood supporting himself in the trunk of the tree. His chest felt heavy and he took deep breaths to help him breathe. She didn't elaborate, but she revealed a pretty shocking incident.
Emma had told her that Jerlina had no one. The knife Emma left was there and she tried to off herself forgetting that she was pregnant. But she stopped herself and she ended up losing her baby anyway.
How much did she suffer that day?
He didn't think she was lying. Her weeps originated from her gut and he could see she is broken even remembering that day. And the other day when he mentioned Emma at the diner, she got sick. She is not lying. She is greatly affected by what happened.
He can understand why she is blaming herself for the miscarriage when she used to blame him before. Grieving for someone you lost is a very complicated thing. You'll try to find reasons and then you end up blaming everything. He went through grief and he understood her.
Leaning on the tree, he closed his eyes.
Emma told her that no one looked for her... I did tell Emma not to tell anyone. And she kept it even from Jerlina? And she left the knife not realizing Jerlina is in distress? She is usually not that senseless...
I get it!
Emma was plenty distressed that day and she might not have been of sound mind and probably didn't think well before acting.
Jeremy peeked out from the tree and saw Jerlina leaning on Scarlett's shoulder and sobbing. Scarlett was wrapping her arms around her and she was silent to let Jerlina cry her heart out.
This is a better way to comfort her than speaking words.
But why do Jerlina's sobs hit me harder than Emma's wail? Jerlina's cry erupts from her gut while Emma's wail emerged from her throat like it was superficial.
Ah, no! How can I think this way? Is it because I care more for Jerlina?
Both Emma and Jerlina suffered that day. Both were depressed enough to end themselves. One - out of guilt of marrying her friend's boyfriend due to excruciating circumstance and the other - out of loneliness because she was... held against her will and was misinformed that no one looked for her.
One was pushed to that state by others while the other was regretting her own decision.
That is the truth. He tried to pacify himself.
But... Emma shouldn't have met Jerlina that day. Why does Emma get a little insensitive when it comes to Jerlina? Back then with the plagiarism incident too, she hid half the truth to make it seem like Jerlina was in the wrong. And now she almost...
Jerlina too is not considerate when it comes to Emma. She is not even believing Emma's depression.
Girls and their pettiness!
But this time one's carelessness pushed the other to the extreme. It was not just Emma's words, it was everything she went through even before that, and Emma's words were the final nudge. But Emma wouldn't have spoken such words to hurt Jerlina.
I should have been more careful. If I was, then Jerlina probably wouldn't have lost her baby. And as my mom said, Jerlina can never get along with Emma after this. I should keep them apart for both of their sakes.
Jeremy took another peek and Scarlett was a little distracted as baby Cia started to play in the dirt. He knew Jerlina needs comfort now and Scarlett would be more suitable for it at the moment.
She is a woman and she could understand Jerlina better than him.
As much as he wanted to be near her, he wondered if he even had the right to do so.
He carefully walked closer and picked up the baby so that Scarlett can comfort Jerlina without distraction. Scarlett nodded at him with relief and his heart hurt seeing Jerlina up close, still sobbing without even realizing that someone else is near.
He wondered if it would be better if she only blamed him for her miscarriage instead of herself.
Baby Cia was happy seeing Jeremy and she smiled at him. He placed a kiss on her cheek and hugged her. This little one has magic. She always brightens up his heart. He carried her to the office.
Jerlina after a long time had someone embrace her and without knowing she ended up crying like she never did. Only after some time did she come to her senses.
"I'm sorry," she pulled back from her embrace. "I don't know what got me."
Scarlett smiled and pulled some baby wipes from her bag and passed it to Jerlina. "Sorry, this is all I have."
"It's fine," Jerlina got the wipes. "I think... your shirt...I'm sorry," Jerlina pointed at? Scarlett's wet shirt and she waved her hand.
"Never mind that. How are you feeling?" Scarlett asked and sat closer to Jerlina. Jerlina looked around and there was no one else around and she was a little relieved.
"Like sh*t," Jerlina said wiping her face. "My head hurts, I feel ashamed of myself for losing control in the office of all places...I honestly don't think I believe that I am responsible for... so yeah," she bowed and chuckled.
Why did I even...
She didn't think her baby at twelve weeks could have understood her thoughts. It can't be scientific.
"Ah! Your baby!" Jerlina remembered only then and got flustered.
"It's fine, she's safe with..," Scarlett smiled. "You don't have to be ashamed, you know. It hits hard at times. Trust me, I know. You'll be fine one moment and in the next, you'd think that karma got you for the dollar you stole from your nana when you were six. You'll never be over it, but slowly... you may find it absurd now, but surely the frequency of moments like these will reduce..."
Jerlina looked at Scarlett and she had a wry smile.
"You had..."
Jerlina's eyes widened and Scarlett nodded with a slight smile.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Jerlina held her hand and Scarlett nodded.
"It's fine. It was more than nine years ago. Now I have Cia and Bobby's a saint practically..." She looked at the distance and Jerlina could see she is happy.
"Do you know that one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage? That's a lot and it's pretty common... Every other woman I've met had a miscarriage some time in their life. But you grieve and you get on... that's how you live..." Scarlett said and Jerlina nodded.
Jerlina didn't think that she could get over this pain any time in the future, but Scarlett makes sense. Life will happen and you move on. She used to think that her life was over when her dad died, but she survived somehow.
Surely, this too will pass.