BXBX NOVEL Chapter 57: [Weapon Selection] [5]
Chapter 57: [Weapon Selection] [5]
\'El?\'
[Yeah.]
\'I lost control.\'
[You did.]
\'...And I beat him up brutally.\'
Focusing my gaze, I looked at Tristan, who was being taken away on a stretcher by staff members.
An oxygen mask covered his face, while a nurse attempted to stop the bleeding on his wounded shoulder.
The students were scattered around him, including Oliver, Ashlyn, Arianell, and Shyamal.
I didn\'t know if it was intentional or not, but the axe had lodged into his dominant hand\'s shoulder, and I was quite sure he would have a hard time using a sword for quite some time, if not for his entire life.
\'Crazy bastard.\'
I thought as I stood up.
All eyes turned to me as I walked towards the exit.
"I thought he was weak."
"Yeah, maybe he took some type of drug."
"Lunatic, nearly killing someone."
"Monster."
As I walked past the students, their gossip and low voices entered my ears.
\'Monster, huh?\'
That truly summed me up perfectly.
A monster who didn\'t deserve love.
"Sigh..."
Sighing, I walked out of the hall and turned towards the building beside it.
Without much delay, I walked up the stairs until I reached the terrace of the building.
Click.
Slam!!
With a click I opened the door before, I slammed it shut as I walked in.
The cold air breezed against my skin as I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.
"El."
[Yeah?]
"Did Inder say something to you?"
[...He said to stop doing what you\'re doing right now.]
"And what the fuck am I doing?"
[.... Burdening yourself with all those responsibilities.]
"Haha," I let out a small chuckle as I walked closer towards the edge of the building.
The entire academy came into view as I looked down from here.
"So, what does he want me to do?"
I mumbled as I leaned against the wall.
[....Why are you even trying to take everything on yourself—]
"El, El," I interjected.
"How hard is it for you to understand this?
How many times do I have to say it?
I am cursed!
I am cursed since the day I was born!"
Clenching my fists, I shouted, trying my best to not let my anger consume me.
"Whoever loves me, cares for me, dies! They die!"
[... Why are you even saying that you are cursed—]
"Because I have seen... whoever loved me die."
Bringing my trembling hands to my face, I replied,
"I saw... Shane die in front of my eyes, and I couldn\'t do anything to save him..."
I whispered softly as I looked at my hands.
"He was... a brother to me, El."
[.... That wasn\'t your fault—]
"Aunt Belly," I interjected again as I muttered,
"You know what she was to me?"
[.... No.]
"When I first started to walk, it wasn\'t my mother who was there for me.
She was.
When I first learned to talk, I called her name before anyone else\'s.
When I was in pain, when I needed anything, when I was sad, I always ran towards her...
I always found myself beside her at the end of the day..."
Slowly, I sat on the floor, ignoring the ache in my heart as I continued,
".....But when I tried to open up to her...
When I tried to tell her what I was going through...
She lost her life.
She was executed, El.
She was executed right in front of my eyes..."
[.....]
"And you know what her last words were?"
I asked softly as I rested my head against the wall.
"Take care of my loved ones and myself."
She told me that with a smile on her face before her head was decapitated from her body.
I was helpless...
I couldn\'t do anything but just watch her die because of me.
[....You always knew you can\'t keep your end of the deal with your mother, didn\'t you?]
\'.....\'
[....You made the deal even though you knew you will lose your life.]
\'Yeah,\' I replied, closing my eyes.
From the first day when I made a deal with her, I knew I would not live much longer.
I always knew that I would die the day I turned sixteen.
But with my remaining life, I didn\'t drown myself in pleasure or happiness.
I drowned myself in hate and sorrow so that when I disappear from their life...
When I die...
They can move on with their lives...
Without being tormented by my death...
"It\'s not like I don\'t want to be loved, El....
I just don\'t want those who love me to die."
I am just tired...
I am scared of losing them...
No matter how much I do to change that...
I will always be left alone...
I will always be left with me....
[.....]
"I am a monster, El...
Born on the dead bodies of millions....
Died buried between the dead bodies of millions..."
[...What are you saying?]
"In the game," I mumbled softly, my eyes still closed, "I did a massacre far worse than what my mother did."
"Even though I wasn\'t in control of my body... But still I alone took millions of lives."
[.....]
"Do you still think I am not cursed?"
[....You know, Azariah... I am not the right person to talk to about this.]
\'Click.\'
I opened my eyes gently as I heard the sound of the door clicking open.
"Hey... Az...ariah."
Waving her hand, she called me awkwardly as I shifted my position and sat properly.
"What brings you here, Ashlyn?" With a smile, I asked as I looked at her beautiful golden eyes.
"....I was trying to find you, but you just disappeared from the hall." Walking slowly closer towards me, she replied.
"I just wanted to have some time alone." I replied as I averted my gaze away from her, "you know I don\'t feel alright with all that happened there."
"I feel hungry, Azariah... let\'s get something to eat." Standing in front of me, she said with a gentle smile.
"...No, I don\'t feel like eating anything." Shaking my head, I replied, "you can go ahead and eat something."
"It\'s fine then...I don\'t feel much hungry anyway."
"You know you don\'t have to come here."
I said looking around as she took another step closer to me,
"I am not in my right state of mind and being with me right now isn\'t the best—."
"Azariah."
Kneeling beside me, she called while gently squeezing my hand.
"Y-yeah."
"Look at me."
I shifted slightly as I faced her, looking into her eyes.
"It\'s still bleeding."
She whispered as she took out a handkerchief from her pocket before placing it on my wounded throat.
I just looked at her as she tried to clean my wound with a concerned look.
\'She is too kind.\'
It\'s been like five days since I have known her, only five and even in these five days, she has seen how people treat me...
how I am hated by most of the people.
It\'s honestly her kindness that she is still sticking with me even when Miley tried so many times to separate us.
"Azariah."
"Ashlyn."
"Do you need a hug?" She whispered softly, looking into my eyes.
"No, I am fine, nothing happened to m—."
And before I could properly reject her, she stood on her knees and hugged my head gently.
"Everything will be alright," she whispered, gently caressing my hair.
"Everything is alri—."
"You are not very good at hiding emotions."
"I am."
"No, silly, you are not."
I closed my eyes as I stopped talking, slowly inhaling her scent.
It smelled good... like that of an angel, far better than any human could.
Slam!!
"Azariah."
The door once again slammed open as a loud voice called me.
"...."
My eyes met with Oliver\'s, who stood at the door as Ashlyn slowly moved away from me, breaking the hug.
Slam!!
"Sister-in-law, why are you following me?" Slamming the door, he shouted, making me alert as I stood up.
"Stup up, Oliver."
Slam!!
The door once again slammed open, but this time it was a white-haired girl who opened the door.
And Oliver, like a scaredy-cat, walked behind her.
"Azariah, you alright, man?" Moving away from Arianell, he ran towards me.
"Yeah," I replied, shaking my head.
"Let me hug you."
As soon as he walked closer, he grabbed me and slammed me against his chest.
Slap!!
"Urgh..."
"Keep your tits away from my face." Slapping his chest, I grumbled as I took a step back.
"Why the discrimination?"
He muttered, massaging his chest, while Ashlyn quickly created a distance between us with a small blush on her face.
"Why are you here?" I asked, looking at him.
"Because I was concerned about you," he replied.
"Where is Aimar?"
".... Miley stopped him."
"...Fucking simp." Shaking my head, I looked towards Arianell.
"And why are you here, princess?" I asked, walking right towards her, trying to invade her private space.
Time to irritate the princess a little.
"There is a call from your mother."
I halted my steps as blood started to drain from my face.