BXBX NOVEL Chapter 477 CH 438: TALK (1)
The last conversation the two of them had in the past had not ended on a good note and she recognized how selfish she had been toward her. Now that she thought about it, was there ever a time that the conversation between them had ended on a good note? She could not find any, which showed her failure as a parent. Deeply focused on the ghost of the past as she had been, she had not even taken a moment out of her time to properly think how her actions would make her daughter feel. And she was extremely regretful for that behavior of hers.
"Lilin...
»Lilin sighed after hearing her mother speak her name in such a weak voice. She was most definitely feeling as uncomfortable as her mother did right now. Her goal had never been to make her mother lower herself so much in front of her. She took no pleasure in this situation and only had a greater feeling of alienation mixed with self-reproach for her current actions. Things could not go on like this.
If one were to ask her to be reasonable when answering if she had an unhappy childhood, the answer she could give was neither yes nor no. There were simply too many contradictory elements mixed into her upbringing that she could not give a simple and straightforward answer to that question. She had everything one could ever hope to have but without Sol in her life, her mentality would have been much darker and more destructive and toxic due to the lack of affection and recognition she had been subjected to by her mother.
"How are you feeling, Mom?"
Lilith was very much surprised at the sudden show of care she perceived in her tone as she uttered the word \'Mom.\' She could not help but leap at the bone that had been thrown toward her like a starving dog, hungering for food for days.
"I am alright. More than alright even..."
As a demigod, her lifespan was now almost infinite. At the very least, there was yet to be a demigod who died from age in her knowledge. This was very different from her declining lifespan.
"I need to adjust a little and soon I will have to sleep for some time to create my territory. But this is now just a question of time before I complete my ascension. What about you?"
"I am doing alright, I guess..."
Lilin stopped speaking after that, at least for some time she did not speak any other word. But then she realized that her words could not really lead to a discussion between them, something that she had planned to accomplish here, so she sighed and tried to speak further...
"We basically finished dealing with all the bandits in the area. The ones who had committed unforgivable crimes were immediately executed on the spot. The vast majority were just farmers who resorted to thievery in order to feed themselves at least the bare minimum to survive. When it came to them, we just locked them up in the prison of a county not far from here. What we do with them will ultimately depend on Sol."
Lilin was clear about her position in Lustburg. She was just a princess. And just being a princess granted no tangible authority to her. To be granted authority, she needed to prove herself, and this incident was her occasion to finally show her prowess and receive an official position in the army and the government. Because of that, she had been very careful about her actions and made sure that while everything wasn\'t perfect, it was still up to a certain standard that could be deemed perfect nonetheless. The fact that she was starting to build her own faction was just the icing on the cake.
"I know that compared to you I still lack talent but..."
She simply sighed and shook her head to banish that negative trail of thoughts from her mind, "It doesn\'t matter. Not anymore..."
If Sol had to live all his life with the stigma of being called \'The son of the Hero King,\' then she had to live her life with the stigma of being \'The daughter of the Sword Saint.\' Both of them had similar fates and the burden of endless expectations lodged on their shoulders since their birth. But unlike Sol, who was able to cast off the shadow of his father, or should she say their father(?), she was unable to walk away from the shadow of her mother. And that haunted her endlessly, even to this day.
Lilith awakened at 15, walked on the battlefield by the age of 16, became renowned at 17, and became a King ranked being when she was around 19 or 20 years old. This was a road of power that few people could ever hope to walk. Even the almighty Hero King only became a King ranked at the end of his 18th year in this world, just as he was about to turn 19. Compared to that... She was only a Duke at 18 years of age. Sol was already close in power level to a King-ranked being and he was 3 years younger than her. It seemed that in this family, she was the one who had been bestowed with the worst talent in these few generations.
Lilin knew that she was perhaps exaggerating. Objectively speaking, her talents and power were higher than 99% of all humans. She was in the top 1% of all of humanity and even in the Mortal Realm as a whole, her position was at the top of the food chain. But this was never enough for her. Why would someone who saw the stars care about the pebbles on the ground? Being in the top 1% was not enough. She washed to be in the top 0.1%. The realm of true monsters that would shake the world with their mere name alone.
"Lilin. You should not be in so much of a hurry. I believe you have great potential in you and when you master your succubi powers, you will become even more dangerous. I believe in your talent, my child."
Lilin could do nothing but give a bitter smile at that remark, "I think I would have been far happier if you told me this kind of thing 3 or so years ago."
Lilith\'s smile slowly slipped off and the pair of mother and daughter gazed at each other silently. There was much in the gaze of her daughter, so much that Lilith could say nothing to her. If at least there had also been anger, Lilith could have tried to argue and plead her case. At least say something other than being silent. But she found nothing, no emotions in her gaze for her, and this... made things all the more difficult for her.
The easiest thing now should be to just give up. As she always did. She had no need to fight so much, after all. She could just close her eyes and walk her own way and lead her own life. But Lilith refused to take the easy path. She had already chosen the easy way for the past 18 years. Now it was time to walk the hard road of redemption.
(AN: Do you think I am making this a bit too heavy? I don\'t know. I want them to be easily happy again, but I don\'t think this is the kind of thing you just laugh about and shake hands and everything is alright. You don\'t heal nearly 20 years of trauma with just one conversation and some sweet words. It\'s a slow process. I really hope I am not making this too boring.)
(EN: Well, it is indeed boring. There\'s nothing to say about that, but there\'s always meaning in everything. Making it gradual and boring would make all of it meaningful and real. Just fixing everything on a chapter would just be making it far too unrealistic. You can\'t fix a wounded heart so easily. It takes time for one to accept, forgive, and forget and then learn to care and love.)