Chapter 49 - Can'T Love You
"I can\'t fall in love with you Meredith. I will ruin you. I am as much of a mess as a one-year-old drawing. I enjoy killing people, hearing them scream in pain.
Being with me would not come without pain and frustration. It could be the best thing to happen in your lifeor the worst.
Being in love makes you vulnerable. People change, feelings change. One day you would wake and realized that you have fallen out of love with me and want to leave me like everyone else. I\'m terrify of that- terrified of the pain you might inflict. So, I would ruin you so that you can\'t run away from me before you ruin me.
I\'m that toxic, selfish and violent Angel. And you don\'t deserve a toxic man, you deserve a good man.
You\'re so pure and innocent that I couldn\'t wait to taint you and bring the darkness in you the first time I met you. I\'m a sucker for destroying good things, that\'s why you scare the hell out of me.
Once I fall in love with you, I\'m going to break you before you even think about breaking my heart.
I don\'t know what I\'m feeling for you but I would rather call it anything but love. It could be madness, obsession, fuck anything but love."
Atlas grabbed his hair in frustration.
"I sensed it before I decided to do this whole thing with you, Atlas. But then" A tear slipped from her eyes and she blinked them away.
"You made me feel like maybe you were capable of love. Like we could have something else."
Atlas turned around to look at her and her heart shattered at the pain in his eyes. Meredith has never seen him this vulnerable.
"I\'m sorry.I can give you everything but love Meredith." He whispered.
A tear fell on her cheek, followed by another.
"I know." She said barely a whisper.
"We can end of all this if it\'s hard for you-"
"No!" Meredith interrupted him. Whatever that he was capable of giving her she would take it like that.
"I like things exactly how they are. No feelings no one gets hurt when we end it."
Atlas raised his brows. Meredith was sure he knew she was lying because concern flashed in his eyes.
But he nodded, "Come here."
He opened his arms but Meredith turned around,
"NoI still haven\'t forgiven you for how you treated me."
Suddenly. She felt his body against hers as he hugged her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing his chin on her shoulder.
"What should I do for you to forgive me?" He asked, his voice soft in her ear.
He pressed a soft kiss at the back of her neck and she shuddered.
"I would do anything you want...."
Meredith shook her head, her lips trembling.
"Look at me Angel please." He pleaded his voice barely a whisper
Slowly he turned her around to face him.
"What about this? Go on dinner date with me tonight. Let me make it up to you. Please"
Meredith saw the plea in his eyes and she couldn\'t bear to reject him.
"Say yes." He said, brushing his lips against hers and then he kissed her slowly while pulling her close to him.
Meredith responded to the kiss-God, she missed him. At that moment she didn\'t give a damn if he would hurt her or break her, wasn\'t capable of love-she just wanted him.
"Fuck, I missed you Angel," He whispered between their kisses. Meredith moaned into the kiss; her hand moved under his shirt touching his bare chest. Atlas let out a deep growl and he pulled away from her.
He placed his forehead against hers.
"Will you go out on a dinner date with me tonight?" He asked looking into her eyes.
"Yes.I will."
His lips curled into a smile and then he pressed a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Good. I will see you at 7?"
Meredith\'s brows knitted together.
"Why are you going somewhere?" She asked sadness laced in her voice.
Atlas let out a soft chuckle, "I know you have had tough days at work so I booked a spa appointment for you. After you\'re done, they would send you to your next location for the day. Your day is packed, Angel. You would barely see me."
Meredith nodded. Anticipation ran through her. She couldn\'t wait for 7\'o clock pm to come.
"Wait I got you something." He pulled away from her and went to the lounge area. He came back holding a big fluffy violet teddy bear wearing a sorry Mickey T-shirt.
"Here." He blushed slightly avoiding her gaze.
Meredith widened her eyes in shock and she pressed a hand to her mouth to suppress her giggles.
"Where did you find this?" She imagined a big man like Atlas buying this. The scene was quite funny.
"Someone was selling it downstairs. I thought you might want a new friend since Sofia is out of the country. Also, you can vent all your anger to him."
Meredith took it from his hands, flashing a huge grin at him.
"If you keep spoiling me like this, I might fall in love with you!"
Meredith saw him stiffened.
"I\'m just kidding, relax." She gave him a playful smirk.
"Do you like it?" Atlas asked ignoring what she had said.
"Yes. Thank you very much."
A satisfied smile raced across his face.
"Give him a name."
Meredith frowned and pouted, "Why are so sure it\'s a guy? It\'s a girl."
"Right, you\'re a girl aren\'t you violet?" She asked nodding the head of the teddy bear.
"Yes I am" Meredith said in a low voice, like it was the teddy bear talking.
Atlas let out a chuckle and ruffled her hair, "Violet is a nice name."
Meredith beamed and nodded, "Yeah it is."
"So.I have to go but see you at 7?"
"Yes, see you at 7."
"Hope you\'re ready for tonight, Angel."
Meredith shivered at the look in his eyes.. Something told her that the day wouldn\'t just end with them going on a date and she couldn\'t wait.