BXBX NOVEL Chapter 231: Ch.230 Relatives
Chapter 231: Ch.230 Relatives
The previous divination suggested that Namor—or someone by that name—was in the city. It could be a sea dweller with the same name, an enemy\'s trap, or even a fragment of Namor himself.
They needed to take a stroll through the streets and allow the Magic Prince to search for any magical clues.
"Can you restore our sense of smell after we leave? All five senses are crucial during combat," Su Ming asked as they headed toward the door.
"Of course. I understand. Sharp senses and perception are equally vital for both warriors and mages. I haven\'t fought in a while, so I\'ll lift my own breath-holding spell too," Monarch replied.
Su Ming walked over the dark-patterned carpet, feeling the moisture in the air from outside. He opened the door, took one look, froze for a second, then promptly closed the door and backed away.
"What happened?" Holloway almost got stepped on and quickly took a few steps back.
Su Ming tilted his head, rubbing the chin of his mask with his hand. "I just saw someone I didn\'t want to see. He shouldn\'t be here."
"Are you sure you\'re not mistaken? Do you have friends in London?" Holloway asked again.
"Yeah, I hope I\'m mistaken." Su Ming cracked the door open for a quick peek, then swiftly shut it again. "Nope. It\'s definitely not an illusion. He\'s really out there."
Monarch furrowed his brow and raised his cane. "Is it an enemy?"
"Uh, not exactly... more like family." Su Ming pondered why that guy had suddenly appeared. Was he just bored?
Holloway seemed to understand, sighing as he patted Su Ming\'s shoulder in sympathy. "I get it. One of those difficult relatives, huh? Like my Aunt Molly. Every Christmas, I have to see her. I\'m almost thirty, and I still don\'t know how to handle her... but you have to face them eventually, right?"
"Yeah, when it\'s family, you meet sooner or later. It\'s just... sooner than I expected." Su Ming sighed heavily, feeling the metaphorical pain in his gut. "Hey Monarch, do you happen to know any spells that can shrink someone\'s... well, their manhood?"
"Uh, no. But I can set up a voodoo ritual to curse someone, making them lose sensation in a particular body part over time."
"Perfect. I\'ve got an ace to play against him now."
With that, Su Ming opened the door wide and strode out, umbrella in hand. A lone figure was struggling against the hurricane-like winds outside.
"Dear viewers, this is your favorite on-the-ground reporter, Deadpool, coming to you live from windy London!"
Deadpool wore his signature red-and-black costume, his dual swords stabbed into the asphalt as he clung to the handles. The wind lifted him like a flag, dragging him backward, leaving two deep trenches in the road beneath his swords. The dirt below was exposed from the friction.
"Currently, I\'m battling a typhoon from outer space! Wind speeds are clocking in at thousands of kilometers per second! If you\'re not as strong as me, I\'d recommend staying indoors today! See that Big Ben over there? It\'s practically sideways!"
Deadpool\'s head twisted in one direction, his face contorting under the mask due to the force of the wind. But he kept mugging for the invisible audience, putting on a performance.
Then he turned his head toward the street, as if an unseen typhoon monster was approaching. Suddenly, his nose began to itch, and he wanted to pick at it.
"Damn, this wind is making my allergies flare up! This fight is intense—time for a quick commercial break!"
He released one hand from the sword to scratch his nose, only to notice a pair of black-and-yellow metal boots standing in front of him.
A figure clad in metallic armor, holding a black umbrella, stared down at him with a single red eye glowing from the visor.
Despite the wind throwing debris everywhere, the armored figure stood firm, unmoving. Deadpool couldn\'t see his face, but he imagined the guy must be as happy to see him as he was.
"Slade? Is that you?" Deadpool\'s voice brightened, and he started to reach for his mask to reveal his face. "It\'s me, Wade! Your favorite cousin! I\'ve been looking for you ever since you ghosted me!"
Su Ming stood there, wondering why Deadpool had shown up. Was it a coincidence? Or something else...?
Deadpool, originally named Wade Wilson, was the result of a friendly crossover between DC and Marvel. His character was modeled after Deathstroke, and both companies even acknowledged that they were half-brothers in a way. They shared many abilities, though Deadpool\'s healing factor surpassed Slade\'s. Deathstroke was more skilled in combat and strength, while Deadpool leaned into humor. Deathstroke had lost an eye, whereas Deadpool\'s entire body was ravaged by cancer and the Weapon X experiments, making him look like a walking avocado.
His perpetually rotting face had made more than a few people vomit before.
"Don\'t take off the mask. It\'s windy today," Su Ming said, extending a black tendril from the seams of his armor to grab Wade\'s hand, stopping him from removing the mask.
Nobody wanted to see that wrinkled avocado face.
"Aww, you\'re so considerate. But I have to take it off! You need to see the look of pure emotion in my eyes—they\'re already filled with tears of joy!"
Underneath the mask, Wade\'s face stretched into an exaggerated expression of happiness.
But Wade didn\'t let go of his other sword either. Knowing the symbiote had him secured, he confidently reached with his free hand to lift his mask.
"Nope, I don\'t want to see that. Not at all." Su Ming sighed as he bent down, grabbing Wade by the arm and yanking him under the umbrella to keep him from being blown away by the wind.
Wade, as if understanding something, playfully punched his palm. "I get it! You\'re jealous because I\'ve got two eyes, aren\'t you? No problem! I can gouge one out for you. Don\'t worry—it\'ll grow back."
"Your body is riddled with cancer, remember? Even the U.S. Department of Agriculture declared your meat unfit for consumption."
Su Ming swatted away Wade\'s hand before he could start gouging out his own eye and sighed. This wasn\'t the Sharingan, and ripping out an eye wouldn\'t do him any good. Besides, having one eye didn\'t hinder his combat abilities. Searching for a new, compatible eye was a pointless waste of time.
"Stupid bureaucrats! Did you know they banned mad cow disease burgers last time? I already filed a complaint. Honestly, mad cow beef has a special kick to it. So I called the President\'s office. The secretary told me the President was out hunting bears. She also said I had called the Kremlin, and her English wasn\'t very good. But I think she was lying!"
Deadpool launched into one of his signature rants. Now safely under the magic umbrella, his feet on the ground, he finally managed to pull his swords from the pavement and started rambling.
He also enthusiastically hugged Su Ming, smearing red water all over the front of Su Ming\'s armor. Apparently, Wade had bought another cheap costume, one that was prone to fading in the rain.
"Alright, enough of that. Why are you here?" Su Ming asked, using his symbiote to gently push Wade away. Thankfully, his sense of smell hadn\'t returned yet, or the stench of this never-washing lunatic might have made him throw up.
"Well, that\'s a long story."
Wade craned his neck to peer at the house and the people behind Su Ming. That must\'ve been the place they had just come from, right? Maybe he could head inside, grab some cookies, and chat?
Rainy days were perfect for cookies. Chocolate ones, perhaps.
But before he could step forward, the symbiote\'s steely tendrils prevented him from moving, keeping him tightly confined under the umbrella, while the rain blasted past them horizontally.
"Then make it short."
The symbiote extended two small tendrils, removing Su Ming\'s helmet and holding it to the side, like a crown.
"Uh, how do I begin? I don\'t like making long things short... I know I\'m well-endowed, but isn\'t that a good thing? The ladies love the length! Though, of course, technique is important too. Different species have different preferences, you know. Speaking of which, have you heard of the Shi\'ar Empire? Those bird-people are egg-layers, but their ladies are almost human. The last time I went there with Star-Lord, we hit up this bar, and, well, let\'s just say after the night was over, he walked out on his hands. I, on the other hand, walked out on three legs, all strong... Hey! Is that the Cloak of Levitation? Did Doctor Strange ditch you? Are you the new Sorcerer Supreme? Hold on, let me tweet about this. Where\'s my phone...?"
Deadpool began fumbling around inside his suit, searching for something in his underwear. He found a grenade and a pencil, but no phone.
Meanwhile, Su Ming\'s grip tightened and relaxed repeatedly on the handle of the Godkiller sword, his breathing growing increasingly unsteady.