BXBX NOVEL Chapter 632 - 632 What Is Going On Inside That Head?
Chapter 632 - 632 What Is Going On Inside That Head?
[A reminder. These thoughts belong to the other part of the bond. In this case, they are Kat's instead.]
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When Callisto got up to start working on meals, Lily realised what she'd been doing and felt a mixture of embarrassment and concern welling up. Embarrassment for the subject matter and concern that she was just broadcasting all of it directly into Kat's mind at the time. Of course, this wasn't true at all and Lily had in fact managed to hide it… but she didn't know that just yet.
*Oh dear… that can't be good. Dammit what must Kat think of me sending that towards her. I can't believe I had so many inappropriate thoughts just watching her stretch a bit. Dammit. Get yourself together Lily. Wait… wait a second… Lily paused as she considered her thoughts.
Wait a minute. Kat is my girlfriend. My honest to goodness girlfriend. If I wasn't having illicit thoughts about her would I actually be in the wrong? I mean it's certainly better then having illicit thoughts about other people… but is it truly right to have my mind so consumed by them? It wasn't this bad before… ok sometimes it was, but normally it was just at night when I was all alone and nobody could catch me. Now I'm just beaming it straight to Kat. Dammit.
Wait. Am I being rude to her? She doesn't feel sexually attracted to me or anyone else? Hmm… does that make this more or less appropriate? She should be able to have these thoughts about me but she doesn't… and that's fine… but should I also not be thinking about her like that? But… but that's basically impossible. She's beautiful, and rather sexy even when she doesn't try and god she doesn't know what she does with her tail sometimes… If she wasn't asexual I'd swear it was on purpose.*
[What exactly is this thing with my tail?]
*Kat!?! What… what um… shit. Of course you can hear me… um… woops? Sorry?*
Lily felt amusement traveling down the link and lifting her mind out of the hole of concern she'd locked herself in. [It's fine really Lily. I was going to let you keep going with your thoughts for a little longer but it seemed to be really concerning you. Besides, you'll be happy to know that you managed to hide your emotions from me during my stretching so I didn't notice at all]
Lily wanted to cheer or fine the deepest hole she could and crawl into it. Part of her was ecstatic at finding out that she could in fact block her emotions from Kat if she tried hard enough… somehow. Another part of her was mortified… and it was the stronger part because she had two differing sources for it. The first was that despite managing to hide it, she'd then gone on to essentially 'talk' about it where Kat could hear, rendering the success of hiding it completely moot. The secondary part of her despair was because she was apparently to embarrassed to admit to Kat she liked looking at her. So she decided to correct that.
*Well in that case. You're hot. You have always been hot. I am a useless lesbian that has the strange urge to lick your legs slowly, and that was before I became a cat and it became more socially acceptable. I don't know why I'm feeling so conflicted over this. It's not like you don't know I find you attractive. Maybe it's because your asexuality makes you weirdly innocent? But you're also my girlfriend and if anyone should know about my weird but somehow erotic thoughts I think it really should be you. Plus, with us stuck in each other's heads you'd find out at some point anyway.*
As Kat started answering, all Lily felt was comforting acceptance in response. [Well you're not getting away from me now. I also don't mind if you think about me like that. I didn't really notice overly much at school when other people did, but I probably should have. It's just never really mattered to me. I never saw others that way so it didn't matter to me if others saw me that way. I still don't really mind overly much and I especially have no problems if it's you. Just… be honest with yourself, and me I guess. We'll work it out. As I said before, the thought of sex doesn't disgust me or anything I just… don't care about it? Like asking me if I want unflavoured gum maybe? It'd give me something to do, but I hold no desire for it really. Though… I do hold plenty of desire to make you happy]
Lily couldn't stop the flood of erotic thoughts Kat's last words sent her way causing a full body shiver to encase her, making her tail whip around agitatedly. To the others, well, Callisto was off working on lunch, Vivian had gotten up to do a bit of work before lunch and Sylvie was still enjoying Lily's fur, unaware of the conversation going on in the heads of the two nearby teenagers.
*Ok Kat you can't just come out and say stuff like that without warning. That's like… like pouring gasoline on a fire. I thought I was trying not to think lewd thoughts about you…*
[Really? I thought we'd just established it was fine. Actually, I do kinda want to know… you're very much of the opinion I'm the best looking girl in school, what about others? Who rated highly? How do I compare in the eyes of others? I never listened to what the girls said about the boys, and I didn't really talk to any boys either… so I'm curious.]
*Hooo boy. That's sort of complicated. So… I don't know if there were any other lesbians at school. It's a small school and certainly nobody was public with it. The girls did still have opinions on who was the best looking, and of course the boys did as well, and I know what the girls believed, and what some girls said the boys believed but it's not like I took a proper count. Still I guess… if you really want to know?*
Kat could feel Lily was reluctant to share this information for some reason. [You don't have to if you don't want to. Why does it feel like you'd rather not? You can tell me about anything you want you know.]
*It's not that I don't want to… I just feel kind of bad for not properly defending you in the rankings. Oh sure, I'd always make the claim, but I never defended it, not really. I wasn't sure I could describe you as 'pretty girl' instead of 'girl I want to make out with' if I really got going. If… that makes sense?*
[Not really…]
*Ok um… right so… a lot of girls have this way of talking about guys. It's very different to how they talk about other girls. For the girls, it's more about… I wanna say style and presentation. So, 'she has a good outfit' or, 'those earrings match well with her eyes' or stuff like that. They can also be like 'she's got great legs' but that's about the extent of it.
Talking about guys on the other hand it's more like 'His abs are so dreamy, and make me want to rub my face against them' or 'I bet he could bench press me' or 'He's a little on the nerdy side but those eyes really suck you in'. I guess you could say it's a lot less superficial? If I started talking about you, and really got going I could probably write an entire essay about why your legs are attractive. That's not how a straight girl talks about other girls. Does that make sense?*
[Yeah. I think so. You couldn't defend me because that would mean complimenting me, but not how straight girls compliment each other, but how they compliment people they want to date but don't want to admit it? Is that right?]
Lily winced at the correction she knew she had to give. *Well… a lot of girls… even if they really like how someone looks still wouldn't date them necessarily. Quite a few think 'He's hot but I can do better' or dumb things like that. Anyway. No. We aren't getting into it. I don't want to even touch it. How you managed to avoid all the girl politics I'll never know.*
[It's called being able to change into gym clothes in less then a minute]
*Good point. So, with that… the top ranking girls would change drastically according to if the bitches three were listening in or one of their pet snitches were. If they were around they'd always score at the top no contest… but it was… I don't want to say it was all lip service. I… I can't believe I'm saying this… but they are attractive. Granted, their personalities are repulsive, and their looks were upper mid tier at best, but honestly… it's kinda hard to find unattractive girls if they are actually taking care of themselves.
If they weren't around… well then it depended on what they were arguing for. Sally for example would always win 'cute' because of how small she is. Personally I think she looks a little… underage… so I never got into that battle. There was also Amelia, she was a good pick for most attractive. Of course, she's much shorter then you are, and her main feature is her breasts with a bit of ass.. As a leg woman myself, she loses quite heavily because of that.*