BXBX NOVEL Chapter 273 - Learning To Let Go
[Yes, seriously] Kay answered [Why would I kid about this?]
Xing Han saw the weird expression on Kyle's face and he frowned.
"What's wrong, Kyle?" he asked worriedly.
Kyle relaxed his face and put on a smile as he replied, "Nothing. Just thinking about all the work that I'll have to be doing next year."
[Kay, could you place the fly bugs at my dorm room?]
[Kinky, brother. Do you want some in the bathroom as well?]
[OH PLEASE] Kyle exclaimed and projected his feelings of disgust over to Kay [That was ... you made the hairs on my hand stand up!]
[Oh please stop being so melodramatic, dear brother] Kay replied nonchalantly [What on Earth are you going to be like when I get a boyfriend? Start kissing? Having se-]
[Stop. No. Stop right there. Don't even say it] Kyle growled. He just wasn't ready for this.
[You're being hypocritical, you know. You've done far worse and I can't even say sex?]
[ARGH!] Kyle kept poking at his food until it was starting to look like mush [It's different with me! And you know why, too]
[No, you're still being hypocritical. I'm going to be 15 in just a few weeks. You can't believe I'm still that innocent?]
[I know you're not] Kyle answered [Doesn't mean I can handle hearing it]
[Then handle it, dear brother. I wouldn't want you getting a meltdown when I start kissing my boyfriend]
[You have a boyfriend?!]
[Not yet, but I will]
'Not if I have anything to do with it' Kyle thought irrationally to himself.
[And don't you dare do anything to any guy I'm interested in] Kay warned [We wouldn't want a repeat of the Jason incident now, do we?]
[You wouldn't hide anything from me now, would you?] Kyle said worriedly.
Kay sighed and Kyle felt that emotion spilling out of her. Both of them had already learned to control projecting their feelings towards each other but there were times, like this, that they didn't block it. It made their mental conversations reach another level.
It was even deeper than face-to-face talking for they literally felt what the other was feeling.
[I'm sorry] Kyle said, the guilt rising within him. He knew that he had to learn to let go, but it was hard.
So damn hard.
The Jason incident had woken him up to the fact that he was controlling Kay too much and treating her more like a daughter rather than a sister. Though the love he bore for her was far deeper than what a mother had for her child.
If any mother was to hear him say that, they'd skin him alive but he knew better than anyone else what it was like. He had been a mother and his love for his children carried on even in this life. His desire to protect them, care for them and love them were as strong as ever.
With Kay, it was just like that - but deeper, for they were connected in a way that surpassed all that. First, it had been because he did raise her from the womb. Secondly, they literally shared everything together since they were in the womb. Third, he could feel whatever she felt. Even though this developed later, it simply tightened and cemented the close bond that they had.
The connection they shared was both a boon and a burden.
More so for Kyle.
Kyle saw Xing Han just silently staring at him while he was busy talking to Kay. Seeing that look, tilted his head and asked, "What?"
"You know, you sometimes have this really far-away look in your eyes," Xing Han commented, "You often brush it off as you thinking but really, it's just ... well, ah. Forget it."
Upon hearing that, Kyle had this sudden desire to just be upfront with Xing Han about the mindspeak with Kay. After getting permission from Kay, of course.
Perhaps this desire was borne out of the fact that Kyle was feeling rather melancholic when he thought of all the things he was hiding from Xing Han. Perhaps it was due to the fact that Kyle wanted a change in the status quo.
Whatever it was, Kyle knew that he had to slowly make changes. Not just put all of his efforts into improving himself, creating connections, protecting his kids ... he also had to change with regards to how he treated Kay and the Elite Five.
Sam was only the beginning, but even then, it was more about work than at a more personal level. If Kyle thought about all the things he had to do, and needed to do, he would certainly go crazy. One thing at a time, one day at a time.
One step at a time.
Looking at Xing Han seriously, he pushed his mushy food aside and asked, "Come on, Xing Han. Finish your sentence. What's really on your mind?"
"Nothing," Xing Han said, finishing up his meal.
"Really? You can't leave me hanging like that, Xing Han," Kyle said, "If you want to ask me something, then ask."
Xing Han shrugged, then drank his water.
"So?" Kyle pressed on.
Xing Han put down his glass and looked at Kyle straight in the eye.
"Are you saying that you'll answer me honestly if I ask?"
Kyle nodded.
Xing Han put his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his arm as he continued to look at Kyle.
"Really?" Xing Han prodded, "Cross your heart and hope to die?"
Kyle blinked a few times. Xing Han was really using their old-school oath? He was really taking this seriously then.
"Yes," Kyle replied, utterly serious, "Cross my heart and hope to die."
"Let me see your hands first," Xing Han demanded.
Kyle rolled his eyes. If he was crossing his fingers behind his back, then the oath he took would not count. Kyle showed his hands and repeated, "Cross my heart and hope to die, Xing Han. I will answer you honestly."
Xing Han broke into a smile then asked, "So what's the real deal about Team Zero?"
Kyle's eyes went wide open.
That was unexpected.