BXBX NOVEL Chapter 115: Diary
Chapter 115: Diary
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By the time they finished wiping off Townhouse and hung up their wet coats, it was nearly nine o’clock. While Gu Yu went out to the yard to feed the cats, Zhang Siyi went upstairs to bathe.
For the past two days, every time Zhang Siyi felt very aroused, Gu Yu would abruptly stop and as a result, Zhang Siyi couldn’t bear it any longer. Although he felt a little guilty, he used the time in the shower to find relief. While the warm water flowed around his skin, he closed his eyes and imagined Gu Yu was there with him. He recalled his sensual kisses and loving touches and soon his body responded.
Sighing, Zhang Siyi doesn’t understand what Gu Yu is thinking. When he was at his house last time playing Truth or Dare, Gu Yu said that he needed to masturbate every day. Now that Zhang Siyi was in front of Gu Yu, why doesn’t Gu Yu react? It was as if Zhang Siyi was the only one acting like a wild animal in heat.
Blow-drying his hair, Zhang Siyi was full of doubts and started feeling annoyed. Since Gu Yu is so unresponsive, let him sleep alone tonight! Zhang Siyi has plenty of blankets in his room anyways. Just after leaving the bathroom, Zhang Siyi bumped into Gu Yu as he was heading into his own room.
“Did you finish bathing? “Gu Yu walked up to him and kissed him on the neck and ear and whispered: “Go to my room and wait for me. I’ll take a shower first.”
Zhang Siyi instantly set aside all his arrogance and restraint and obediently went to Gu Yu’s room. The bed was already made and this time, there weren’t two quilts, but one large one that was spread out for both of them. Zhang Siyi got into the bed and snuggled up with the blankets and quietly reprimanded himself: “No backbone.”
Lying on the pillow, Zhang Siyi could smell the essence of Gu Yu. Having him all around made Zhang Siyi heart to begin to stir and his body start to respond. Trying to keep his mind occupied with something else, he took out his phone and checked his friend’s social media news. The first entry he saw was the short video clip of him that Gu Yu’s posted with a love emoji. With his mind full of Gu Yu, Zhang Siyi face became even more red. Sighing, he put the phone away and examined Gu Yu’s room once more.
Zhang Siyi saw the jack-o-lantern was placed on his desk and cactus light was on his bedside table which was enough to prove their importance to Gu Yu. Remembering his message ‘Big Devil’, he rushed over to the cactus light, thinking he could retrieve it.
It was a bit of a hassle to undo a portion of his creation. He picked it up and looked straight at the bottom and saw traces of ware at the location where Zhang Siyi hid his note. Fuck! How can he find such a secret location?
Groaning, Zhang Siyi had nothing to say and pretending that he didn’t find anything, he put the lamp back just as he found it. The two black sketchbooks on the table he saw previously during his sleep over last year attracted his attention.
Under the pressure of curiosity, Zhang Siyi wanted to take a peek. Since it’s unethical to casually look through other people’s private things in case there are secrets, he felt reluctant.
However, when Zhang Siyi thought about ‘having a secret’, the more he couldn’t stop his impulse. Gu Yu isn’t an outsider. He is Zhang Siyi’s boyfriend. If he quietly looked at one page only, there shouldn’t be a problem, right? Besides, with Gu Yu’s workaholic nature, it is probably simply work related!
Convincing himself, he guiltily looked towards the direction of the door. Since he didn’t hear anything, he leaned back with a sketchbook in hand and slowly opened a corner to take a peek.... What he saw, froze him in his tracks!
It was Zhang Siyi. He saw a drawing of himself, to be exact.... by Gu Yu?
Not holding back, Zhang Siyi opened the book wide and looked at the image clearly. It was a sketch of Zhang Siyi laying on the table from Gu Yu’s perspective standing at the doorway of the conference room at the company. There was a line of writing on the side: “looks a bit cute sleeping” and the time and initials were noted: “2014.10.16 GY.”
Zhang Siyi thought carefully back. – What was I doing last year in mid-October? Was it before the provincial z city project? I was still drafting bathrooms and stairwells and parking lots all day long?
He turned the page of the book and saw that the contents were arranged in chronological order. Also, each page was accompanied by a sketch and a one or two-sentences to describe it.
—- It turns out to be a drawing diary of Gu Xiao!
Zhang Siyi completely forgot about ‘peeking’ and wholeheartedly turned to the beginning of the book and looked through it without reservations.
Besides the images of Zhang Siyi, there were architectural sketches and reading notes. He flipped through the pages and only read the entries depicting himself.
The first notation appeared on September 11, 2014 when he hadn’t been at the job for long. There was an image of him looking at his phone with the description: “The foundation is poor, the work is not bad, the drawing is not focused, takes shortcuts. Shortcomings everywhere.” There is red circle around it, as if Gu Yu gave him a bad review.
Feeling ashamed, Zhang Siyi quickly turned to the next entry. It was the time he went on the first business trip with Gu Yu. The description said: “With him on a business trip to evaluate the site. On the plane ride over, my shoulder got wet.” The picture is from Gu Yu’s point of view with him sleeping on his shoulder drooling.... What a fool!
The next drawing is of the sand tea noodles: “After a long day walking around, I invited him to eat dinner. He tried to bite me! He-he. A happy single-celled fool. In the evening a friend called, Boyfriend? I teased him. He reacted decisively. Hey straight guy.”
Zhang Siyi: “....”
The next time Zhang Siyi appeared in the journal was the day the Child Labor group won the competition in the company.
“Group A lost the internal bid. He feels lost and his mind isn’t strong enough. ” The picture is a Chibi version with a drooping head ... Gu Yu can also draw comics? It’s a very good portrayal!
Another two pages forward and the jack-o-lanterns appeared! “A pumpkin lantern given to me by him. Thought of a funny childhood. Hehe.”
Zhang Siyi: “...” Pumpkin son? (=_=)
Continuing onto more pages, the next entry is November 13, 2014, when there was a period of intense overtime. The image is Zhang Siyi with big black eyes, as well as the text: “I think this guy kind of likes me ...”
...... What? Like Gu Yu? At that time? No way! How can Gu Yu think that?!
When Zhang Siyi turned over the page, the page was almost blank. There was only one English word written in the middle: “Upset.” There wasn’t a time noted on the page. Was it the time of the dispute in the bathroom? Sure enough, on the next page the note said: “unexpected winning bid.” Except for the disagreement in the toilet, there doesn’t appear to be other notes about feeling depressed at that time.
I didn’t think my words would make Gu Yu feel so bad....... Zhang Siyi was a little guilty.
When the book was at the end, Zhang Siyi opened another sketchbook and looked at the first page. It was about they day they met at the train station in Ningcheng by chance. “It turned out that he was the little crying bag that loved to drool when he was a child. Fate is really wonderful.”
..... A little crying bag that loves drooling? What kind of adjective is this!
“It was an impulse to give him the tape measure as a birthday present, but he didn’t seem to like it.”
...... It was just an impulse? ...... Who says I don’t like it? I was really moved!
There were two pages in December last year, both related to the Cactus:
“Three months at work and hasn’t come to take care of the cactus I gave him. He really doesn’t care about work.”
“The cactus is going to die. In order to win the prize, he switched it out. He isn’t being honest.”
The images on the pages are also of cactus. In addition, there are analysis charts and diagrams showing the differences between the old and new cactus. All of the reasons were explained to Zhang Siyi on WeChat.
“I want to hear him play the violin for me...”
......
Turning over the page, suddenly a slip of a dirty piece of paper fell from the book. Zhang Siyi gently reached over to grab it and opened his eyes in surprised: “Ah” – this is the note I left hidden in the base of the lamp.
“Gu Yu, you Big Devil! I wish you a happy 29th birthday. One day I will be even more powerful than you! (╰_╯)——ZSY”
Feeling a bit foolish, Zhang Siyi went to see what was on the page of the sketch book.
Gu Yu has drawn the cactus lamp carefully in detail. The words below the image say: “He just thinks of you at a goal, but you like him.”
While Zhang Siyi’s hands trembled and his heart jumped, he stared at the words on the page, no longer able to turn them.
It turns out that Gu Yu isn’t as calm and stoic as he imagined. He experienced the same days of emotional doubts and sufferings that Zhang Siyi had. Only, Gu Yu encountered them earlier than Zhang Siyi did. It always seemed like Gu Yu had everything under his control, but in fact, he had his own insecurities and sorrows. He was an ordinary, affectionate man who was deeply in love that was able to pretend otherwise.
Zhang Siyi regretted not looking at these sketchbooks the time he stayed over last year. If he saw them earlier, would they have been able to get together sooner?
...... No, I didn’t realize that I liked Gu Yu at that time and maybe the information would have scared me.
Like a messy spilled bottle of five-spice, Zhang Siyi felt a myriad of contradictory emotions; love and heartache, happiness and regret.
Hearing movement at the door, Zhang Siyi quickly put the sketchbook back in place and leaned back in bed. He watched Gu Yu enter the room and close the door and locked it behind him.
A sudden feeling overwhelmed Zhang Siyi. The person he loves is in front of him and he is a man. Zhang Siyi doesn’t believe the normally stoic Gu Yu is unaffected by his emotions.
“Are you still awake?” Gu Yu smiled and lifted the covers to get into the bed next to Zhang Siyi. He teased: “You aren’t pretending to sleep today, hmm?”
When Gu Yu laid down, Zhang Siyi gathered up his courage to turn over on top of Gu Yu and grasp both hands.
Gu Yu: “......”
Zhang Siyi: “......” (o////o)
Despite his crazy heart, Zhang Siyi bowed his head and kissed Gu Yu gently on the lips then admitted: ” I just...... I read your sketchbook.”
Gu Yu was a little startled: “Hmm?”
Zhang Siyi kissed him again, whispering: “I’m sorry. I peeked at your diary without your consent.”
Gu Yu relaxed and looked at him affectionately and asked: “So?”
“......” – Strange, why is Gu Yu’s reaction not the same as my imagination. How is he so calm?
Zhang Siyi said: “I don’t think of you as a goal. I also like you very much.”
Gu Yu smiled and raised his arm to grab him by the waist and pull him close: “I know.”
Zhang Siyi trembled involuntarily...... No, no, obviously he is the one on top.