My Father in Law is Lu Bu

“Brother Liu, this fellow is Lu Bu.”

Song Xian was very proud. Lu Bu, the god of war, was tied up besides Wei Xu and him. Their service was most definitely meritorious.

[TL: for the term fellow, Song Xian used a derogatory term]

“Chi chi” As Liu Mang looked from the side, he gave out a sound resembling a sigh of pity. The person of the Three Kingdoms Liu Mang admired the most was Gongsun Zan. This was because Gongsun Zan was never tolerant against using his troops against the non Han Chinese people. It was because of him that the non Han people revered the Han.

Lu Bu was another person he admired. Although many of Lu Bu’s actions are denounced by others, actions such as massacring all of his adopted father’s retainers and relatives, the blame couldn’t be completely placed on him.

Ding Yuan, Lu Bu’s adapted father, was a regional governor and a minor warlord at the beginning. As one of his sons, Lu Bu was given the position of Chief Secretary, an administration position. Lu Bu was a warrior possessing great martial prowess, but was given a civilian post for years. This was even after Ding Yuan was promoted for his assistance in the Luoyang, Lu Bu never received any promotion. Waiting to kill Ding Yuan until Dong Zhou brought him over was already pretty good.

Later, Wang Yun’s honey pot worked wonderfully. Lu Bu’s lover was taken by Dong Zhou, and being a man, he couldn’t help but kill Dong Zhou. After escaping Luoyang, the Lu Bu army faced countless life and death situations. Lu Bu, unlike big eared Liu, never once abandoned his wives and children.

[TL: big eared Liu is Liu Bei. Liu Bei was recorded to have huge ears.]

Lu Bu was a family man.

Lu Bu was an ungrateful fellow without friends? When Cao Cao was on his ass, no one dared to assist him. Only the city of He Nei dared to send troops to help him.

Before his death, Lu Bu, like Gongsun Zan, was a mighty figure who caused many to cry in fear. His position would’ve most certainly been higher had he not been born to troubled times.

With his idol in front of him, Liu Mang couldn’t help but feel excited.

He wanted to untie Lu Bu and ask for an autograph. Unfortunately, now was not the time.

In less than an hour, the Cao troops would break through the gates and enter. Once they broke through the city, they would bring him to Cao Cao and he’d be fucked. Pretending to be a general would certainly be a death sentence. Liu Mang’s only chance at survival lied in the man in front of him.

Xiapi wouldn’t be able to withstand the siege much longer. He could only survive if he escaped the city under leadership of Lu Bu.

After thinking for a moment, Liu Mang stood up. “Generals, my army is to arrive in a moment. However, even without this tiger defending the city, there will be many causalities in order to break the gates. Generals, why not open the gates to greet the arriving army? Your merits would most certainly increase if you do so.”

“Ah?” Song Xian and Wei Xu’s eyes flashed with glimmers of delight. Originally, their merits lied in capturing Lu Bu... but if they now also offered the city to Cao Cao...

“Brother Liu, you are the brother of I, Song Xian, after this! I will most certainly add brother Liu to the list of credits for opening the gates.” Song Xian had given an empty promise.

Brothers with you? It would be a miracle if you didn’t sell me out! Liu Mang was scornful, but he pretended to be grateful,“After the army arrives, I will most certainly introduce the two generals to my father and brothers.”

“Ha ha! Then we must thank brother Liu!” As surrendered generals, if they wanted to join the Cao army, they’d have to associate themselves with the old generals. Having Liu Mang as their wingman would definitely be a lot better.

The two laughed as they walked down the city walls.

“Whew!” Liu Mang gave a sigh of relief. The two snitches were finally coaxed by him. Liu Mang quickly ran to Lu Bu and snatched the cloth out of his mouth.

Lu Bu immediately swore once the cotton in his mouth was removed. “Rebellious traitors! If you’re a man, release me! Using underhanded method to capture me!”

“Hey-hey, boss Lu, please lower your voice,” Liu Mang hissed quietly. Lu Bu had a violent temper. If Song Xian and Wei Xu heard him, they’d be screwed.

“Boss? You’re the boss! How dare you insult me!”

[TL: Lu Bu took insult to Liu Mang calling him boss because while boss is a term signifying a hint of respect and position in modern chinese slang, it is a derogatory term for warriors in ancient chinese because they see boss as merchants, a class lower than theirs, who is interested only in money.]

“Calling you boss is an insult?!” Damnit. Liu Mang really couldn’t communicate with the great God of War. How I wish people called me boss.

“I’m the boss. I’m the boss, okay?!” Liu Mang rolled his eyes. “I’m going to help you escape! Are you coming or not?!”

“Do with me as you please!” Lu Bu continued to curse, then suddenly caught what Liu Mang had said.“What did you say about freeing me?!”

“Argh.” Liu Mang clutched his ears. What was with these generals being big horns? Lu Bu, Wei Xu, Song Xian, and even the bullshit squad leader were like this. Did they not feel comfortable unless they were yelling?!

“To put it simply, I’m not apart of the Cao army, nor am I part of your Lu Bu army! But if I want to live, I have follow you, boss Lu!” Liu Mang summarized.

Lu Bu frowned. Liu Mang was going to free him? He wasn’t working for the Cao A’man or him.

[TL: Cao A’man is another name of Cao Cao. I believe it’s his childhood name.]

“Didn’t you mention earlier that your father and brothers encountered me on the battlefield before?!” Lu Bu was puzzled.

“Fuck! You have too many questions!” Liu Mang was angry now. “I am surnamed Liu, called Liu Mang. Have you ever met any senior generals in the Cao army with the surname Liu?! The father and brothers I speak of- does the Han emperor count?!”

“His Majesty?!” Lu Bu was shocked. “You are related to His Majesty?!”

Liu Mang brushed Lu Bu off. “Stop bothering me! The Han emperor is my brother, okay?!” He quickly untied Lu Bu. Wei Xu must’ve been truly ruthless to tie his former master so tightly. He noticed that Lu Bu’s body was covered in blood from lacerations.

“His Majesty’s younger brother!”

During the Latter Han Dynasty, very few were patriotic or loyal. Lu Bu was the exception.

After Dong Zhou’s death, Lu Bu took control of Luoyang. It stood to reason that Lu Bu would behave like Dong Zhou, doing whatever he wanted in Chang’an. Surprisingly, he didn’t. He was completely respectful to the little emperor. Even when he was forced to leave Chang’an, he never threatened him to leave with him.

Afterward, he attacked Yan Province and occupied Puyang before finally running away to Xu Province. This caused the big eared thief to flee. During those times, Lu Bu had always been respectful toward the Han Dynasty.

[TL: Big eared thief is Liu Bei.]

Lu Bu clearly remembered that in Chang’an, His Majesty did not have a younger brother. He had a single elder brother. This was the Prince of Hongnong, Liu Bian, and he had died at the hands of Dong Zhou.

“Stop asking questions, Lu Bu! Back when there was plenty of corruption, the late emperor frequently spoke lividly in regards to money. How would one know of all his sons?"

That’s it, he’s a bastard child! Lu Bu nodded understandingly. He held his fist. “I, governor of Xu Province, General Who Pacifies the East, Lu Bu Lu Fengxian, thank sire for the saving me!” Lu Bu really believed that Liu Mang was of royal blood. After all, the golden armor he was wearing couldn’t even be worn by regular imperial clansman. It was reserved for those bestowed by the emperor.

[TL: Lu Bu is listing all the titles and his courtesy name when he introduced himself.]

[TL: Lu Bu essentially did a salute of respect to Liu Mang. I suspect you’ve seen this type of salute before. https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTuxfcQQtXcovU_3XLGpKXxpQyjSRwJK2-x55tIkWO2GDEUQZW1]

“Just forget about it.” Liu Mang knew Lu Bu misunderstood. However, regardless of the misunderstanding, his top priority was saving his life.

“Marquis of Wen need say no more. We should gather the remaining soldiers and rush out of Xiapi immediately. Xiapi cannot be guarded anymore.”

[TL: Marquis of Wen is another one of Lu Bu’s titles.]

“Yes!” Although Lu Bu was a very obstinate and opinionated individual, he also had a deep respect for the Han Dynasty. After getting up, he looked for a weapon to gather remnants of soldiers in the city with Liu Mang.

“Alas, pity that my Sky Piercer was thrown out the city walls by those two renegades. Otherwise I needn’t do such!” The weapons nearby were all from Lu Bu’s soldiers that had been killed by Song Xian and Wei Xu. None of the weapons were really comfortable to Lu Bu.

Without the Sky Piercer, Lu Bu was certainly a grade lower in martial abilities. Lu Bu was normally considered the pinnacle of super first class, and now he was only super first class.

Despite all this, his battle prowess would still be strong enough.

“So you were here!” Suddenly, somebody came from the White Gate Tower. It was the squad leader that had been chasing after Liu Mang. He was not as lucky as Liu Mang. Liu Mang’s body was covered entirely in armor, and the squad leader had only leather. Liu Mang could close his eyes and charge through the crowd, while he could not. This was why it had been so difficult for the squad leader to find them. Even the weapons in his hands were close breaking again. Evidently, he had killed a lot of people.

“Don’t be rude!” Lu Bu berated the squad leader after noticing he was wearing the black uniforms his soldiers wore.

“Eh? General?!” The squad leader realized it was Lu Bu and immediately got down on his knees. For the Lu Bu army, Lu Bu was seen as a God.

“This is--” Lu Bu started to introduce Liu Mang, but he was interrupted. “Think about the situation first! Introductions can wait until after we get out of the city!”

“You dare speak to general like that!” The squad leader was about to draw his blade. However, contrary to his expectations, Lu Bu wasn’t angry. He even held out his fist and screamed, “Okay!”

What’s with this?!

The squad leader was stunned.