My Father in Law is Lu Bu

“The first virtue is filial piety!” Liu Mang spoke confidently “We of the Han Dynasty are taught to be filial to one’s parent and to one’s nation. Mr. Qin Song here, is the pinnacle of filial piety. Mr. Qin Song who has passed the Xiaolian examination at a very young age is truly a benefit to the people, and now has become an advisor to General Sun Ce, it is truly Our Great Han’s biggest fortune!”

TL: Xiaolian examination system is a system proposed by Dong Zhongshu to Emperor Wu of Han to select government officials. The word stems from “孝顺親長、廉能正直” meaning being filial will result an incorruptible and upstanding person. This examination system is abolished by the time of Ming Dynasty.

“Ha Ha Ha!” Qin Song touched his beard again. His expression did not show anything, but in his heart, he was really riding the wind, overloaded with happiness. He then said “Filial to ones parents is the basics of basic virtues, those who are parentless and less filial to foster parents are not worth mentioning!”

“CRRAACKKK!” At the seat of honor, Lu Bu’s hand made a loud cracking noise from squeezing his wine glass. When Lu Bu loosened his fingers, his hand made a mark on them. Fuck man, that is a goddamn copper wine glass.

Liu Mang’s eyes also got narrow due to him cringing to Lu Bu’s action, he paused for a moment then continued..

“The second virtue is brotherhood! Your love for your elder brother really surpasses those of regular brothers, it is as if he was your best friend! That virtue is really exemplary!” Liu Mang explained the second virtue. Qin Song you are the second child of your family, so you have an older brother. When your older brother died of illness, Qin Song you took care of your older brother’s children, making sure they were fed and had a good education.

“The third virtue is loyalty! Since General Sun Jian’s time, Mr. Qin Song was already an official of the Sun Clan. After General Sun Jian passed away, when General Sun Ce lived under Yuan Shu’s mercy, Mr. Qin Song did not abandon him at all. So from this, Mr. Qin Song is indeed a loyal person!” Honestly Liu Mang also slightly admired this old man. He had served three rulers of the Sun Dynasty. When Sun Jian and Sun Ce were dead historically, he still do not leave Sun Quan and continued to serve him.

When Liu Mang explained the virtue about loyalty, Sun Ce was also touched and said “Uncle Wenbiao, these many years, it must have been very exhausting!”

“As long as I, Wenbiao can continue serve the old lord and Milord. It is not exhausting at all!” Qin Song replied, beaming with pride.

“The fourth virtue is trustworthiness. Mr. Qin Song’s words are certainly honest and sincere. A truly respectable virtue!”

“The fifth virtue is etiquette. Mr. Qin Song, who has read all of the sage king’s books, and is said to be very skilled in Zhou rites. His actions and movements all have the markings of a pre-Qin Dynasty scholar!” The ancients have always considered Zhou’s rites as the basics for all etiquette.

TL: Confucian terms for Ceremony http://faculty.plattsburgh.edu/kurtis.hagen/keyterms_ritual.html

“The sixth virtue is righteousness, Mr. Qin Song is an upright man and always put himself behind public’s necessities. His actions are oozing morality and we all need to learn from Mr. Qin Song in this regard”

“The seventh virtue is integrity. You do not have greed in your heart, nor do you have any egotistical desires!” We do not know whether Qin Song’s intention is to really remain pure and incorruptible or if he really treasures his reputation. But, historically, this Qin Song really did not covet even a single cent from the treasury. He only took his salary and moreover he helped to subsidize some of the budget. Probably these military provisions in Wancheng city came from Qin Song’s own pocket.

And so everyone listened attentively to Liu Mang’s summary. “So, this good teacher, this helpful friend is also a mentor. Mr. Qin Song is really a role model. Is he not our Han Dynasties greatest treasure?!” Liu Mang’s praise almost made Qin Song lose his grip on reality “So, in order to rule the country and pacify the world, one must learn from Mr. Qin Song!”

“You are too kind, you are too kind!” Praise wherever and whenever is always very comfortable. With Liu Mang’s praise, Qin Song was more reluctant to provoke Lu Bu again.

When Liu Mang quickly sat down and continued drinking his wine, a nearby scholar suddenly felt strange and stood up “please pardon my inquiry, Your Highness. Your Highness Prince of Shu only said seven virtues, what about the eighth virtue?!”

“Yes, that is right. Your Highness, what about the eighth virtue!” All of the scholars on the scene also started asking Liu Mang. Since Liu Mang praised on how Qin Song cultivated his attitude according to Confucius’ way, then there should be eight virtues.

That eighth virtue was the most important virtue. It’s to know of shame and having a sense of honor.

But Liu Mang said nothing, furthermore, when those scholars kept pressing, he just said he forgot.

Other scholars began to calm down, but only two people kept their view toward Liu Mang, that was Zhou Yu and Zhang Zhao.

“BWAHAHAHAHA!” Behind Sun Ce, there was a young man standing while laughing loudly, inviting attention to himself. Seeing all people gazing at him, this young man tried to hold back his laughter, but due to the subject being too funny, even though he tried it very hard, tried and tried until his whole face turned rose red from holding down his laughter, he couldn’t hold it back!

“Lu Meng?! Why do you laugh?!” Sun Ce’s brow wrinkled heavily. Just now Liu Mang was praising Qin Song, and Lu Meng laughed at his praise? This young man is really rude for laughing at Mr. Qin Song.

“Is he Lu Meng?!” Liu Mang had now seen the young man who will become Jiangdong’s viceroy in the future, who will defeat Guan Yu with his stratagems. But currently he is still a brash, unrefined young man who is currently 20 years old.

“Forgive me Milord. It is Meng’s fault for not holding back his laughter! It’s just that His Highness Prince of Shu’s words, was too funny!” Replied Lu Meng while holding his stomach.

“What words did His Highness Prince of Shu say that you found funny, huh? Presumptuous! Say it now, or I will not forgive you!” Sun Ce really scolded Lu Meng, because Lu Meng is just a young man, even younger than he is. If Qin Song provoked Lu Bu now, Sun Ce couldn’t scold him directly, after all, Qin Song can be considered his uncle, but what status did Lu Meng have? Did he want to invoke Lu Bu’s army’s wrath?

Because of Lu Meng’s laugh, Qin Song had the opportunity to escape punishment, because Sun Ce was reluctant to do it. So he could only punish Lu Meng to appease Lu Bu’s army.

“EEEEHHH?” Lu Meng sounded his surprise. Lu Meng just realized that he has become the scapegoat for Qin Song’s punishment. Then he said it all “Please appease yourself, Milord. I will say it, I will say it. Earlier those scholars were asking His Highness Prince of Shu about the eighth virtue right, but His Highness said he forgot.

Earlier when His Highness Prince of Shu elaborated those 7 virtues and gave examples, I, Lu Meng did not understand at all why he went to such lengths.

But I too know about eight virtues such as filial piety, ceremony, loyalty, etc. they are all connected together, if one did not possess all, you could say that one possessed none. But he had forgotten the eighth virtue which is to know of shame and sense of honor. Is this not another way of calling him “Shameless SOB”??!”

TL: Liu Mang insult is like this. In Confucian tradition there are eight virtues that must be followed at all costs. 1. Filial Piety, 2. Brotherhood, 3. Loyalty, 4. Trustworthiness, 5. Etiquette, 6. Righteousness, 7. Integrity and 8. Know of shame and sense of honor. When Liu Mang elaborate those virtues of Qin Song, he deliberately left out the eighth virtue. So indirectly, he said “Qin Song, you are a shameless SOB for declaring yourself as a hero!”

“Shameless SOB?!” Those people are not idiots, they quickly realized the meaning and comprehended Lu Meng’s speech.

“Wait, wait, there’s more! His Highness Prince of Shu also added that in order to rule the country and pacify the world, one must learn from Mr. Qin Song right?”

People began gathering the logic “To cultivate oneself completely one can rule the country and pacify the world. But according to the Prince of Shu’s elaboration, Qin Song only had 7 virtues therefore, ruling the country and pacify the world, one must be shameless? But to practice the 8 virtues, one’s heart must be clear and positive and must be righteous. If according to Lu Meng’s conjecture, then when Qin Song was learning those 8 virtues, his heart was not upright and was polluted?!”

So, Liu Mang’s summary regarding Qin Song can be summed in a few words “You Old SOB, You are a very shameless lowlife who knows no shame and has zero honor!”

Qin Song’s, who modestly rejected the overpraise from Liu Mang earlier had suddenly become a very big joke.

There were many of Jiangdong’s personnel here, so they naturally could not laugh or make any noise. They actually suppressed their laughs until they become rose-red and shut their mouths to not speak.

But it is different on Liu Mang’s side. Zang Ba already started laughing out loud “WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Old SOB, HAHAHAHAHA, Hanyang, YOU ARE GOOD!” Even Lu Bu was also laughing out loud while Liu Mang just kept his smile toward all of them.

“Aiyah!!!” Zhou Yu shook his head. He and Zhang Zhao are the people who initially understood what Liu Mang wanted to convey, but they kept their mouths shut. They did not want to stab their elder in the back! Unfortunately, they really had bad luck. That Lu Meng could not hold his laugh and to top it off he even goes on to explain the meaning. This Qin Song’s face was just thrown into toilet full of feces.

“Rascal, Rascal!!! You, You!!!!” Earlier he was praised until he went to heaven, but now due to Lu Meng’s explanation, that pride had all gone to hell. He was criticized as shameless SOB. The older people get, the more they care about their reputation. Earlier he was still happy and haughty and wanted to angrily insult Lu Bu’s reputation further, none would expected their respond would result with him turning into a clown.

Although the scholars right now are Jiangdong’s scholars, they will probably not tell anyone immediately about this incident. But scholars are everywhere, as long as they spread out, the rumors of this incident will definitely be spread. At that time, how can Qin Song possibly show his face around people anymore?!

“This old man, this old man! urrrgghhh” Qin Song pointing at Liu Mang with killing intent. But suddenly he clutched his chest and his complexion turned blue because of anger.

“Meng, help Mr. Qin Song to get out of the hall!” Sun Ce ordered Lu Meng promptly. Sun Ce’s complexion became really bad. His own advisor was scolded as a shameless SOB, where could he put his face as his lord?

And now Qin Song was enraged to the point that he almost fainted because of Liu Mang. If he continues to fight Liu Mang, then this Jiangdong will lose one of his most trustworthy retainer.

“Yes sir!” Behind Sun Ce, there are Lu Meng with two young people carrying Qin Song. When Lu Meng arrived in front of Liu Mang, Liu Mang winked towards Lu Meng.

“Your Highness Prince of Shu is really worthy of your reputation!” Zhou Yu always thought that it was only rumors when Liu Mang in Kaiyang insulted Cao Cao until he was so angry he wanted to vomit blood. However after seeing it now, it is definitely not false. If Qin Song was still in this hall, he would be so angry to the point of vomiting blood. So Zhou Yu quickly toasted to stabilize the situation “I would like to apologize for the incident with Mr. Wenbiao, for being impolite to the Prince of Shu. Here is one cup to you Your Highness!”

“The handsome Zhou is also very intelligent!” Liu Mang also raised one glass of liquor. Zhou Yu did not mention to Liu Mang, Qin Song’s intention for initially provoking Lu Bu. Maybe Liu Mang is not a rival in terms of stratagem, but in insulting, Zhou Yu was a thousand years too early to be match for him.

“Although Mr. Wenbiao is impolite, he actually opened up a discussion for us. Yu has little talent. So Yu would like to ask Your Highness Prince of Shu and General Who Pacified the East Lu Bu one question. In this chaotic time, may I know what kind of person has the qualifications to be called a hero?”

Thus the topic continued. Heroes are many in times of chaos, what kind of person has the qualifications to become a hero?

What is with this question? Is this a test for me? Or does Zhou Yu want to elaborate what is a hero even further?