My Father in Law is Lu Bu

Liu Mang, accompanied with Huang Zhong, Huang Xu, Xu Sheng, Wang Wei and Zhao Yun currently are standing on the rampart of Shouchun Naval HQ. While Liu Mang just smiled, all of his generals are awe-struck by the sights. There are pieces of warships which had been turned into black, corpses who suffered at least third-degree burns, corpses who suffocates to death and corpses who were boiled to death, real pitiful. The scenery so filled like that, one can said that Liu Mang is fishing using bombs (blast fishing). Xu Sheng then cupped his fist toward Liu Mang and said “Milord, Sheng thanks you for salvaging Sheng’s pride!!!” Liu Mang just waved his hand and said “No need for thanks, it is a duty of a lord to help his subordinate by doing whatever he could.” Liu Mang then thought Now, Xu Sheng is truly one of mine.

Meanwhile on Guan Yu’s side. Guan Yu and his soldiers had been rowing all night and almost reached Runan dock. In the end, only his ship and small number of soldiers managed to avoid destruction. “Aahh, ah, ahhh, roost chiken!!!” Pang Tong just speaking gibberish since last night. That attack shocked him too big and that final troll (Roast Chicken of Jing Province) robbed him of his sanity. Pang Tong want to troll Liu Mang, but instead he is trolled back magnificently.

Guan Yu then said to Pang Tong “Military adviser, we had docked!!!” Guan Yu just sighed in his heart Last night, we are building friendships and help me to regain my pride. But now, I cannot do anything to him, as he is completely heartbroken. Ai!!!! Actually Pang Tong’s condition is much better than last night where he is just stay stiff like a corpse and that happened while they are passing through Anfeng and Tianjin. Guan Yu who did not know anything of waking people from their shock other than slapping their cheek, slapped his cheek, HARD. “POOF!!!” Pang Tong then spurted out blood however when Guan Yu saw that blood, he is really concerned as the blood is blackish in color. Pang Tong is suffering stomach-blood-stasis caused by extreme rage and frustration for his failed scheme and Liu Mang’s trolling that he is holding in his stomach.

Never underestimate stomach-blood-stasis as it is extremely deadly, especially to people who did not have good temper. History famous people who died by this stomach-blood-stasis are exceptionally Zhou Yu and Wang Lang. Zhou Yu was trolled by Zhuge Liang who again and again failed his scheme and finally he died angry leaving behind the beauty Xiao Qiao. While Wang Lang, his was mixed with shame and anger for forcing Liu Xie to abdicate, betraying all that he stands for and finally died after falling from his horse.

“Cough, cough!!!” Pang Tong coughed up two of his teeth because of last night slap and laughed “hee hee hee hee!!!” A laugh full of hatred combined with self-deprecating. Guan Yu then knitted his brow and thought Laughing? At this point? Man, if his ability is so great, then he should have cultivated his spirit. Too bad, a person of great ability turned into a waste.

While Pang Tong still laughing, Liu Bei came and greet Guan Yu first “Second brother, welcome back!!!” All while hugging him. Guan Yu then released Liu Bei and cupped his fist and kneel “Big bro. We are defeated!!!” Guan Yu hid his face in shame and proceeded to report everything to Liu Bei including Liu Mang’s last words. Liu Bei then said “Ai, brother. Victory and defeat is but a common thing in war. Why must Yunchang muses over a small defeat while we only need one decisive victory!!!” While smiling toward Guan Yu. When his gaze moved toward the laughing Pang Tong, his smile disappeared and turned to sneer and said “So, how are you, Fledgling Phoenix of Jing Province? Or should I call you, Roast Chicken of Huainan?!” Guan Yu then stood up and said “Brother, why are you rubbing salt on Military Adviser Pang’s wound?!” Guan Yu really did not understand why the normally gentle Liu Bei turned into a very harsh person. Liu Bei then sneered “Out of 130 warships and several hundreds troops, only 1 ship managed to return. And what you Pang Tong said last two nights huh? ‘MY SCHEME WILL WORK, IT IS FLAWLESS!!!’ Your scheme had indeed worked, Pang Tong. YES, AGAINST ME!!!! HOW DID YOU STILL HAVE A FACE TO RETURN, HUH? YOU SHOULD JUST DIE WITH THOSE SOLDIERS IN SHOUCHUN!!!”

Guan Yu felt really strange, when Xiapi was swindled by Chen Gong, Liu Bei just maintain his mannerism, but right now, it is really different. Pang Tong then replied in hoarse voice “Yes, Milord. I should had died with those soldiers in Shouchun Naval HQ.” He become more depressed and started to walk the plank. Guan Yu then seized Pang Tong’s hand and said “Military adviser, don’t do this!!!” Guan Yu really confused as Liu Bei did not prevent Pang Tong to kill himself. None of this is right. Guan Yu then said “Military adviser, Yu begged you not to do this. Military adviser, please slap Yunchang to vent your anger. Please!!!” Guan Yu then urged to Liu Bei “Brother, please stop military adviser Pang as this is not his mistake, rather this is Yu’s mistake for being too arrogant!!!” Liu Bei then goes forward and said “So, Pang Tong. You chose death right? LET THIS LIU XUANDE ASSIST YOU!!!!” He then proceed to kick Pang Tong.

Liu Bei then choke Pang Tong’s neck in order to drown him. “Ack, cack, agh!!!” Pang Tong is struggling to breathe so his voice made that noise. Guan Yu then kneel toward Liu Bei and said “Brother, don’t kill military adviser Pang. Blame Yunchang for his mistake, please brother!!!” Liu Bei just responded with “HUMPH!!!!” While his hand kept choking Pang Tong. A few hours ago, the blazes of Guan Yu’s ships can be seen from Runan dock, really bright. Coupled with information from his scout, made Liu Bei lost heart. Pang Tong then quit his struggle and just waiting for death’s embrace, when he is pulled from the water by Liu Bei, his hand is on his hair. Liu Bei then slapped Pang Tong twice and said “So, lost once and you already want to die? Letting go of your hatred just like that, huh? You imbecile.” “Hah, hah, hah!!!” Pang Tong is trying to breathe after almost dead and responded “I am not an imbecile, I am trying to be responsible for my failure!!!”

Liu Bei then replied “Oh, die with shame? Die without avenging them? Good, you are not worth to be called Fledgling Phoenix. History books will note your Taoist name as ROAST CHICKEN OF JING PROVINCE!!!! LET ME ASK YOU ONCE MORE!!!! DO YOU WANT TO AVENGE THEM?!” Pang Tong said in exasperate tone “YES, I WANT TO AVENGE THEM!!!” Liu Bei then said these series questions with Pang Tong answering them by yelling. Liu Bei asked “ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO AVENGE THEM?!” Pang Tong said “YES, REVENGE!!!” Liu Bei next asked “TO WHOM YOU ARE GOING FOR REVENGE!!!” Pang Tong replied “TO LIU MANG ARMY, TO LU BU ARMY!!!” Liu Bei asked “WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH THEM?!” Pang Tong replied “KILL THEM!!! KILL THEM ALL, MAKE YANG PROVINCE RED WITH THEIR BLOOD!!!!” Liu Bei then finally questioned “ARE YOU ROAST CHICKEN OR FLEDGLING PHOENIX?!” Pang Tong screamed his answer “I AM PANG TONG, PANG SHIYUAN, THE FLEDGLING PHOENIX OF JING PROVINCE!!!!” Pang Tong had regained his whole self back and screamed as loud as he can toward the sky. Pang Tong had been maturing thanks to that defeat and Liu Bei’s shock therapy.

“Big bro, what are you doing?!” Guan Yu asked Liu Bei, but Liu Bei did not answer him. He did not understand the shock therapy Liu Bei dished out to Pang Tong in order to regain his most valuable adviser. Seeing Pang Tong already returned to his old self, Liu Bei started to be polite again and said “Master Pang, Liu Xuande beg your forgiveness for offending you a minute ago. Xuande asked for your big heart to forgive me!!!” Pang Tong then kneel and replied “Pang Shiyuan of Jing Province, thanked Milord for rescuing Tong and for maturing Tong into true phoenix!!!”

Liu Bei then hold Pang Tong’s hand and help him get up while saying “Master Pang, please get up. Earlier Bei dished out shock therapy in order for master to regain his footing. This nation will crumble if such an excellent man to fall into insanity!!!” In this timeline, Liu Bei really valued Pang Tong as he is the one who will transform him into a true warlord, otherwise, he will be forever considered as a private military contractor (TN: Literal translation is mercenary group, I add a term from MGS which basically mean the same as mercenary group).

Liu Bei had been green with envy to those warlords who inherited their own region from their own ancestors, because they did not struggle like him. He, in order to obtain Xu Province, need to play nice toward Tao Qian. Even when he is rewarded for his contribution in Yellow Turban Rebellion, he only was given as a small town inspector. For Liu Bei, it is not worth of a man of his stature, so he left his post, then he goes to leech here and there while enduring humiliation, finally building his own foundation. At this juncture, if one follows original history, he should have been hit hard by Cao Cao and expelled from Xiapi and goes to Yuan Shao and wandering for a few more years before he had base, however because of Liu Mang existence, he got a base in Runan now with very minimal loss and lots of profit.

He just needs to add one more member to his Peach Brothers members, he already got many ordnances, provisions, golds. Enough for him to live luxuriously until 20 years or so. However, when they had settled everything and began gathering intel, they found out that they are surrounded by enemies, so Liu Bei quickly ordered recruitment and got 40,000 troops as a result and adding with what he had previously, their numbers is 60,000 troops. With that big advantage, also comes next big thing. Pang Tong of Jing Province come to pledge his allegiance to him and handled almost everything efficiently. His being in Liu Bei army, made Liu Bei wonder what if he was recruited when he is still in Xu Province. But alas, there is no if in this world.

After organizing everything, Pang Tong then provided Liu Bei a very comprehensive plan for him to conquer Central Plains with the victor is always Liu Bei. And now, such adviser wants to die? Liu Bei will not give him up even a second. Even if Pang Tong’s position is lower than his brothers, he will definitely prioritize him first.

No way, Fledgling Phoenix cannot die yet and if he must perish, let him perish after I find a good substitute for him Thought Liu Bei. Therefore, earlier, he employs shock therapy as comforting a wounded over-confident adviser will only make him hurt himself and make him more and more less confident when laying out his plan. Fortunately, that shock therapy worked so well that it matures Pang Tong and filled his heart with the thought for revenge.

“Milord, Military adviser. Wind is big here, let us return to the main camp!!!” Those words were spoken by a white-armored general and with a long spear on his hand, made him more handsome.

Guan Yu also responded “Yes, Shuzhi is correct. Let us go in, so Military Adviser can dry his clothing!!!” Liu Bei then gestured “Master Pang, please go first!!!” After that all three of them said “Milord, please!!!” While smiling toward each other, they had been calmed down and become united.

With that event, very soon all three provinces Yang, Yu, Jing and Central Plains will be engulfed in a very intense war.