Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

Chapter 116: Chapter 116: Popular girl street cred (4- Final)

Although I didn\'t like the narrative that they put behind me, I have to admit, they did a really good job with the interview.

"Oh my god! A tiny Edward! I\'d almost forgotten that!" Haley suddenly teased as she saw the clip from when I was 170 cm. I turned to her and asked inexplicably, "You do know I was still taller than you even right then....right?"

She pouted and crossed her arms together before replying, "I know." She then asked, "How much money did they promise you when you sang at the cafe?"

I laughed a bit and said, "None. I did that for free."

"(GASP!) Impossible!" Jacob exclaimed.

Haley, Jenna, Abby, Jacob and Elsa all turned jaw-dropped as they all knew how much of a money-loving man I was. The fact that I did that for free was incomprehensible for them.

"No. That can\'t be it. You must have known that Pepper was a rich man, and you were making an investment-" Abby tried to justify my actions in a shivering voice.

"Nope. Although I knew he was rich, I wasn\'t aiming for that at all." I replied, causing the group to gasp once again. I grimaced towards them and said, "You guys are being very rude you know. I\'m not THAT materialistic."

"You say that because you don\'t know yourself like we do." Haley said with a smirk.

"Maybe he was aiming for the live-play slot at the cafe during peak hour? " Jenna hypothesized.

"Or maybe he was going to use the song as blackmail material for the cafe owner– something about child labor.." Elsa added.

"No. I think he was aiming for the Youtube revenue instead." Abby joined in.

"Damn, None of my friends actually believe in me. Where is Enid? I need her to be on my side." I said jokingly as I turned around, looking for the hyperactive girl. The rest laughed out loud as they managed to poke fun at me.

"Seriously, where is Enid...or Alex?" I asked seriously after we all finished laughing. However, not one person could answer me.

...

[General POV]

"Ay Claire. Why are you so angry?" Gloria asked as she picked up Claire from Long Beach. "I am the one who\'s supposed to be angry! I drove 1 hour to pick you up." Gloria added playfully.

Claire finally broke her silence and she complained in a dispirited tone, "I...I failed."

"As a mother?"

"To bust Edward while he was sneaking into a party he wasn\'t supposed to be in." Claire explained before Gloria could assume more. Luckily for Claire, the ship stopped at Long Beach to pick up the celebrities before it sailed out into the open seas. She managed to get RDJ to sign a life-sized Iron Man cutout and had stuffed the thing inside Gloria\'s car trunk.

"Ayy. Why do you want to catch him so bad? He\'s a good boy!" Gloria defended.

"Well I know that now." Claire replied while becoming increasingly irritated. "He was not even there today."

"So why did you try and do something useless?" Gloria asked in confusion.

"I..." Claire hesitated for a moment while sneaking glances at Gloria – fearing that she would judge him.

"I drove for an hour. You can at least tell me why." Gloria said sternly.

"Alright. Allright!" Claire whined before she told Gloria everything, starting from her suspicion about Ed at the yacht party before, and Haley\'s phone call. Gloria laughed at her later on, saying that she was the one who thought too much, and she should\'ve trusted her family more.

"Like today. Jay wanted to spend some time with Luke and Manny at the gym together. So I trusted them, and let them go on their own." Gloria said.

Claire scrunched her eyes in disbelief as she pursed her lips and asked, "Manny still doing the whole exercise thing?"

Gloria replied excitedly, "Yesss! I don\'t know what Edward said to him, but I never saw him more motivated than this. Jay seems annoyed at first, but now, he\'s also trying to motivate Manny."

In a mall nearby, Jay said sternly, "Get down and give me 10 more!"

"But Jay/Grandpa!"

"NOW!"

Manny and Luke sighed before they grabbed their spoon and counted the bites they took for the huge ice cream parfait that Jay bought for them. It has banana, strawberries, various flavored ice-cream, and it is served inside a huge bowl for a group of 10 people to share. But today, Jay made an exception for them.

[Jay\'s commentary]

"I cannot let Manny\'s case become the precedent for the whole... weight loss program. Gloria won\'t stop until she gets me to do the same thing. I CANNOT take the risk. I\'m already 63 years old. I just want to eat my bacon sandwich in peace damn it!"

[commentary ends]

"Urghh, I think I\'m going to puke." Luke said as his face paled. He threw his spoon and tried to run away.

"No you\'re not." Jay said as he grabbed Luke by his arm and then gave the spoon back to him. Luke rolled his eyes, but he scooped the ice cream together with Manny and ate it again and again until his stomach really hurt this time.

"Finish it, and I will let you go home." Jay said while eating a small ice cream cone on his own.

At the party, Haley finally found out where Alex and Enid had been hiding. She returned to the living room to tell the group with Tara joining them, "So. Alex and Enid are holed up in my room."

Jenna and Elsa nodded, but Jacob had a peculiar idea that he felt the need to share with the group, "Sooo...What do you guys think they\'re doing in there? You know...people ain\'t going to disappear from a party...unless...they were making out...or doing something...more..."

His tiny whisper made the group froze for a second as they pondered the implication. The ones who were shocked the most were Tara and Haley – being the middle schooler\'s older sisters. They looked at each other while mouthing, "Is your sister a lesbian?"

[Haley\'s commentary]

"Well...Alex does have the sandals for it. I totally called it." Haley said while throwing her hair to the side with a smug look in her eyes.

[commentary ends]

Jacob\'s theory, although it was overreaching, did check a lot of boxes that solved the group\'s curiosity about Alex and Enid\'s disappearance. And what he said was true, people didn\'t usually go missing at a party unless they were hooking up with one another.

I was snickering inside as I saw the group trying to pretend they didn\'t know anything about Alex and Enid\'s \'relationship\' so as to not oust them before they officially came out later on. It was a collective group decision that was made in a matter of seconds as we watched Enid and Alex descend through the stairs together.

\'Although, I was only pretending to have the same thoughts as them while playing along with their delusions...just for fun.\'

As they were caught by Haley, Enid and Alex went down reluctantly– which cemented the theory that they were doing something secretive inside the room. The hyperactive girl brightened up, and ran to give me a hug as she saw me.

"ED!" Enid called out as she jumped into my body, wrapping her legs around my waist as she hugged my neck.

If Jenna, Abby, or Haley didn\'t know what they knew about Enid now, they might get jealous and tell her to get off me, but they were smiling politely now instead.

"I missed you!" Enid said.

"I missed you too." I replied before she released me. With a flushing face, Enid tucked her hair behind her ears as the late embarrassment finally hit her. Alex rolled her eyes and said, "I\'m getting a drink."

Enid looked at Alex before she whispered to my ear, "Heads up. She\'s mad at you. I don\'t know why."

I was confused by Alex\'s clear effort to avoid me. While I was thinking about that matter, Jenna and Elsa were having fun seeing the drama in front of them and were gossiping with each other.

"See. Alex\'s mad that Enid is hugging Edward." Jenna said.

Elsa nodded and added, "She must be jealous that both of them can hug each other publicly. Poor Alex."

Haley fell into a deep thought and then decided to do something. She walked towards her Uncle Mitchell, and was whispering something to him. I was watching the whole thing, and I almost couldn\'t help myself as I saw Mitchell\'s expression turn pale and then that of acceptance, sympathy, and understanding as he took a look at Alex later.

I turned to Jacob and gave him a thumb up, "Good job dude."

He blushed a bit, thinking that I was praising his observational skill and replied, "T-Thanks."

I narrowed my eyes at the potato kid, wondering if some potato roots had grown inside his brain. Then, I sighed and turned towards Haley before saying, "Hey. I need to go now-"

"Let\'s dance!" Haley cuts me off before I could slowly remove myself from the party. She dragged me towards where the other kids were dancing, and started swaying her hips and her body as she put her hands around my neck.

"Come on. Dance! Don\'t be shy." She said instigatively, trying to arouse my dancing spirit. I sighed and suddenly grabbed her waist, pulling her close towards my body. She blushed hard and she couldn\'t lock eyes with me anymore.

"W-Slow down." Haley stammered as I leaned into her face.

Abby saw what we were doing from afar, and she rolled her eyes contemptuously. Right then, the football player approached her and said, "Hey."

"Hmm." Abby replied disinterestedly, her eyes kept following Haley and I.

The blonde, blue eyed boy smiled wryly and said, "You know, if you want to make him jealous, there is a simple solution for that."

Abby was finally interested and she turned towards the boy. She asked, "How?"

"Simple. Go to prom with me."

Abby thought for a while, and as she glanced at the sight of Haley and I dancing without a care in the world, she angrily replied, "I...will think about it."

While Haley was dancing with me, she whispered, "You know, if I can get this party to end without any problem, I will be the first person in the school to ever achieve that!"

"Wait seriously?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. The last party, a high school senior gave birth on the dance floor. The party before that, the police barged into the place. And before that one, Tara\'s mother got drunk and started groping a highschool senior."

"Damn. Don\'t forget to introduce me to Tara\'s mother later." I said jokingly, which caused Haley to roll her eyes. "Mommy issues!" She cursed before turning her backs against me and started grinding her bottoms at my crotch.

"Hey." I tried to stop her, but that made her more daring instead.

"What? I\'m just dancing." She said mischievously.

"EAT TRASH YOU RACCOON!" Suddenly, a feminine shout was coming from the front door. All of the party goers turned to the source of the sound, and saw a mad looking Madelyn with two raccoons in her hands. She threw the racoons inside the party, initiating a pandemonium.

"So much for a successful party." I said with a grin as I saw people were running out of the house in fear of the creatures.

"Did you know that raccoons aren\'t categorized as vermin or rodents, but instead they are classified as mammals?" Alex suddenly asked Enid.

"That\'s what was on your mind right now?!" Enid asked in disbelief as she grabbed Alex and jumped onto the couch together to avoid the creatures – further intensifying Jenna and Elsa\'s \'shipping\' towards them.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Mitchell panicked as he ran out of the house, completely forgetting his responsibility as a guardian– especially in this type of situation.

One raccoon jumped onto the boy who asked Abby to prom, and he screamed like a girl before spinning around, trying to get the creature off of him.

The other raccoon was pulling at Haley\'s skirt, making her scream in fear. Madelyn turned back in satisfaction, and she ran to her ex-boyfriend\'s car in fear of the retribution.

"Okay that\'s enough." I said to the raccoon as I pinched it by the neck with my fingers, as if I was picking up a kitten.

The girls watching were horrified and the boys were grimacing as they lost the opportunity to become the hero. With my [Animal affinity], I could sense that the animals weren\'t hostile, they were just scared to be kidnapped and thrown into this house.

The other free raccoon ignored the boy it was climbing onto and ran towards me before nudging my legs with its head, trying to free its little sibling.

"Let\'s get you back to your home." I said as I picked up the other raccoon and slowly walked away towards the door under the inexplicable gazes of everybody around and the throbbing sounds of music no one was paying any attention to.

"Hey what\'s up, party people!" Phil finally returned from the house sales, but he froze as he saw the sight in front of him. He quickly stuck his back against the doorframe as I went past him and brought the racoons outside of the house.

I placed them down on the grass and said, "Now. Where is your house?"

The critters were standing on their hind legs as they tried to show me where they came from, however, I saw a large racoon with a menacing growl on her face as I turned my head along with the little ones.

"Oh my god! Ed\'s in danger!" Phil said as he watched the show from afar together with the people left in the party.

"That\'s your mother?" I asked casually. The raccoons growled, barked, and even hissed, further intensifying the people\'s fear for my safety.

As I faced off with the creature, I heard the sounds of a car engine being ignited, and saw Brian and Madelyn in a sports car, smirking condescendingly at my misery from afar.

I smirked and pointed my finger at the car suddenly, confusing the people around, and also made the mother raccoon turn her head towards the car.

"They are the ones who kidnapped your children." I said casually.

"What the actual fuck-" Alex cursed in disbelief as she thought I was being stupid. An animal couldn\'t understand a human\'s words, unless you trained them for a period of time.

However, to the people\'s surprise, the mother raccoon started growling and gnashing her teeth at the people in the car, and it sprinted towards the open window of the car instantly.

"Go get them." I said while laughing before I patted the raccoons\' children\'s heads and went back inside the house. The people at the party saw a legendary sight after that. The mother raccoon scratched Madelyn\'s face and bit off Brian\'s nose as it wreaked havoc inside the car.

Brian accidentally stepped on the gas pedal, and the car crashed into a tree nearby. Finally, the mother raccoon\'s anger was satiated and it leaped out of the car window before it went away together with its children.

"I\'ll call 911." Mitchell said as he sprang into actions. At this moment, Jay and the boys finally returned home from their excursion.

"What the hell happened here?!" Jay muttered after he parked the car. Not long after, another car pulled into the driveway.

"Sorry about your party. I really wish it could have ended better." I said to Haley after turning away from Jay who was standing at the door.

"A-Are you freaking kidding me? That is like...the most awesome party...ever!" Haley said with a smile.

"Yeah. We saw an accident involving a raccoon and a teenage couple. What more did you need?" Abby said while laughing at Madelyn\'s and Brian\'s misery.

"We could continue the party if you guys still want." Alex said. Suddenly Luke shouted, "I\'m going to hurl-"

"Alex Honey, I got RDJ\'s autograph for you!" Claire walked into the house cheerily while holding the life-sized cut out on her hand. Luke was blocked by the cardboard cutout, and he couldn\'t hold it in any longer.

"BLUEEKK!" Luke puked all over the cut out, making Claire froze in her place. Then, Manny turned and did the same thing– to Gloria\'s shoes as she followed Claire into the house.

"Yeah the party\'s over." Alex muttered before she turned her back against her mother and walked away.

"Pfft- HAHAHA!" I laughed out loud as I saw Claire and Gloria\'s faces as one lost an autographed cutout, and the other her shoes. However, I received a phone call at that moment and my amusement quickly passed as I answered the call, but I kept watching the family so as to not miss out on their shenanigans.

"I\'m sorry mom. Jay forced us to eat the jumbo sized ice-cream dessert until our stomach hurt." Manny confessed-slash-exposed Jay.

"Manny, Grandpa ordered us to keep that a secret." Luke whispered, but it was heard clearly by both Gloria and Claire.

"Trust them huh?" Claire said in an annoyed manner as she turned to Gloria. It turned into a full on argument between Gloria and Jay, while Claire was trying hard to chase after Alex. Haley stealthily backed away from being the center of attention, and was walking quickly with Abby to get closer to my position.

"Okay I understand. I\'ll fix it now." I said to the phone before I cut the call.

"What happened?" Abby asked.

"Nothing much. Just there\'s a few bugs in the website I need to handle." I explained.

"Wait. Your website still buggy? I thought you coded the hell out of it." Abby widened her eyes in surprise as she said that.

I lied actually. The website was actually kind of perfect. But it was under attack at this moment, so I needed to get online to back up the defenses even though I knew it could handle the infiltration.

"My laptop is back at the office. Can I borrow yours?" I asked the two girls.

"YES!!!!! I mean, Yes. You can. Let\'s go back to my place. Haley is...going to be busy cleaning up after the party...right?" Abby replied hurriedly before Haley could say anything.

"Y-Yeah." Haley muttered subconsciously.

"Great. Back to my place then." Abby said before she grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the house.

(A/N: Finally the party chaps are over. Now for a shoutout!)

"Ever wonder what would happen if an unlucky transmigrator received the task of spreading our world culture and "culture" ahem... to a cultivation world? Would he avoid getting face-slapped by some cliché young master? Or maybe cure an Old Master\'s erectile dysfunction just by making him watch a video of Stepsis getting stuck in a washing machine? Or maybe make the Elder of a Jiangshi Clan tremble in his shoes just by playing Silent Hill?"

You might want to check out my friend\'s new fic, "Cultivating Culture", written by "Extra26". The newly released fic is trending on Scribble hub, and now coming to your very own Webnovel platform. (Piggy: WN BETTER PAY ME FOR THIS!)