BXBX NOVEL Chapter 60.1 - Conflicted
Edited by: Amelea, FistFullOfDollars and Juurensha
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Chen Yekai:【What did you want to ask me this afternoon?】
Yu Hao:【Chen Laoshi, have you ever liked girls before?】
Chen Yekai:【Why are you suddenly asking about this?】
Yu Hao realised that this topic was a bit impolite, and considered what to say to change the topic so Chen Yekai could just ignore it, when Chen Yekai replied to him with a long message.
【From the moment I became conscious of the difference between genders, I think I’ve had normal feelings towards the opposite sex. I did like beautiful and sexy girls. When I was in high school, I happened to come across some AVs and my sexual desire for the opposite sex was aroused. After studying abroad, I would be attracted to intellectual, gentle women who were one or two years older than me, but relatively speaking, my family was more on the conservative side, and were strict towards premarital sexual behaviour.】
Yu Hao didn’t expect Chen Yekai to answer him so seriously. It really was embarrassing to discuss this topic.
Yu Hao:【Okay, I got it.】
Chen Yekai:【Let’s meet up tomorrow for lunch? It just so happens that I wanted to talk to you alone too.】
Yu Hao, “???”
“Zhou Sheng?” Yu Hao looked towards the bed on the other side. Zhou Sheng laid on his bed with the back of his head facing him, “Tomorrow, I......”
With just one glance, Zhou Sheng knew what Yu Hao wanted to ask him, “Kaikai asked you out? Go ba.”
Fu Liqun went to take a bath. Yu Hao said, “Have you been looking for him often recently? What are you guys talking about in private?”
Zhou Sheng, “It’s got nothing to do with you.”
Yu Hao, “How can it have nothing to do with me!”
Zhou Sheng, “I said it’s got nothing to do with you, so it’s got nothing to do with you. Yu Hao, are you trying to pick a fight?”
Yu Hao sensed that something was wrong, “Have you guys already discussed the case? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Zhou Sheng sat upright and looked at Yu Hao. Yu Hao said, “What’s going on? I have the right to know too.”
Zhou Sheng thought for a moment, “We’re just casually chatting. If there’s a pressing matter, we’ll let you know.”
Yu Hao stared at Zhou Sheng suspiciously, “Really??”
Fu Liqun walked out after he finished his bath, so Yu Hao and Zhou Sheng abruptly stopped this line of conversation. Yu Hao replied to Chen Yekai, and Chen Yekai just asked him to wait at the college’s gates tomorrow:【We’ll talk when we meet.】
Chen Yekai sat in a small reserved room in front of the landing windows; he was looking down at the information that Zhou Sheng sent him on his phone.
Zhou Sheng:【Cherish it a little ba. Once this is over, most of your memories regarding this period will be gone.】
Chen Yekai:【I know, that’s what we agreed on. But will I forget everything completely? Will I get suspicious about it later on?】
Zhou Sheng:【Depends on how much you want to keep. At the very least, everything regarding special abilities and the dreamscape can’t be kept. As long as you don’t forget too much, losing a few fragments of your memory wouldn’t rouse your suspicion, because people won’t go out of their way to find something they don’t have.】
Chen Yekai:【What’s the theory behind the mechanism of forgetting one’s memories? Are they erased or sealed off?】
Zhou Sheng:【Why are you asking so many questions about this? The most convenient way is to roughly regress your memory to a certain day, then obscure the rest. Or get you to fabricate a false memory to cover it up.】
Chen Yekai:【Sounds kind of fantastical.】
Zhou Sheng:【It’s not that fantastical. Identify the corresponding place in your dreamscape, determine where that place is, then demolish it and rebuild it again, or just level it. It’s a bit troublesome to find it, but you’ll have a lot of time in your dream that you can use to slowly search for it. You’re the master of the dreamscape, so it’s not like you won’t be able to find it.】
Chen Yekai:【Then can I choose the point in time myself?】
Zhou Sheng:【Which day do you want to regress to?】
Chen Yekai:【The day after the college celebration.】
Zhou Sheng:【The operation itself wouldn’t be that precise, but I’ll try my best ba. No guarantees.】
Yu Hao thought that Huang Ting would be there as well, but in front of the room, there was only Chen Yekai. There also weren’t many guests in the restaurant at noon. Chen Yekai ordered some dishes, “The weather isn’t that good today. If it was clear, the scenery would look very beautiful.”
When Yu Hao saw Chen Yekai, he noticed that he had cut his hair into a buzz cut, and it was almost shorter than Zhou Sheng’s. Buzz cuts rely a lot on one’s jawline and head shape to look good, but this Chen Yekai is someone who practically has no dead angles from a 360 degree view. After he changed his hairstyle, he actually seemed even more masculine.
“Does it look good?” Chen Yekai smiled as he touched his hair.
“Handsome.” Yu Hao smiled, “If you show up at school again, people would definitely start cheering and taking photos of you secretly.”
Dark clouds loomed overhead outside the landing windows. When you looked out, a cloud of fog could be seen.
“This restaurant should be very expensive right?” The style of the interior decoration here startled Yu Hao a little.
“It’s not too bad.” Chen Yekai didn’t allow him to see the menu, nor did he intend to let him know the prices. Of course, he wouldn’t order everything on a menu like Zhou Sheng, “Just consider it as accompanying me for a meal. I’ve been wanting to eat here anyway, Thai food is both sour and spicy, so it’ll be quite appetizing. I’m in a good mood today so I want to eat a little more.”
Yu Hao suddenly felt like he was on a date with a CEO. Fortunately, Zhou Sheng reminded him to change before leaving the dorm today, otherwise he was planning to leave in just a T-shirt, a pair of baggy pants, and slippers.
“I rented an apartment upstairs for the time being.” Chen Yekai said, “Everything’s prepared, so you don’t need to worry.”
Yu Hao, “Prepared? What’s prepared?”
Chen Yekai, “There has been significant progress with the case. I’ve obtained the statements of two parties who were involved who’re willing to cooperate with me. Since they’re transnational witnesses, it’ll be a bit troublesome, but it’s not something that can’t be overcome.”
Yu Hao, “That’s great! What else?”
Chen Yekai considered it for a moment before he continued, “Now the most crucial issue is that there is still no evidence to prove that the car accident was contrived. Zhou Sheng suggested this: if we can prove that Shimu was comatose when she was taken into the car, then all the connections in this case will become tenable, and Lin Xun wouldn’t be able to deny it anymore.”
Yu Hao agreed enthusiastically, “Yes!”
On the afternoon of New Year’s Eve, if Liang Jinmin was comatose when Lin Xun took her to the car, then why would Lin Xun take his wife who was suffering from shock onto the expressway? And not buckle her seatbelt for her when they went to visit their friends? This series of suspicious actions would then no longer be justifiable.
Yu Hao asked doubtfully, “But why didn’t Zhou Sheng tell me anything!”
Chen Yekai said, “We were just talking about it casually.”
Yu Hao said, “If Liang Laoshi can wake up, it should be of great help to the case.”
“Un.” Chen Yekai said, “But at present, we need to wait patiently. I believe the future looks optimistic.”
A small plate of shrimp slices with salad dressing was served. Yu Hao didn’t touch it. He looked outside, then looked at Chen Yekai, who happened to be looking at him as well. Yu Hao felt a little embarrassed from his gaze.
“What did Zhou Sheng say?” Chen Yekai suddenly asked with a hint of a sly smile in his eyes.
Yu Hao, “?”
He didn’t say anything ah, Yu Hao thought, what did Zhou Sheng say to you? Then he shook his head doubtfully and began to ruminate.
“I’ve decided to resign.” Chen Yekai said, “I even talked to my Dad a while back and told him not to accept Lin Xun’s request for legal advice.”
Yu Hao remembered that night when Lin Xun was on the phone as he walked upstairs — presumably, he was consulting Chen Yekai’s father then.
“What did he say?” Yu Hao became nervous again.
Chen Yekai answered, “He told me to mind my own business.”
Yu Hao’s brows were immediately locked in a deep furrow.
“I know I can’t dissuade him, but I can at least get him to consider it more seriously. This was the first time I took the initiative to break our deadlock, so I think he’ll take this problem seriously.” Chen Yekai said, “When I came out of the closet to him four years ago, in his eyes, I was still a kid who needed my parents to pay for my tuition fees. Now he thinks that I’ve already grown up, and my mother has always been concerned all these years, so he has gradually come to accept it as well.”
“I thought he’d persuade you to return and get married.” Yu Hao smiled.
“He did happen to say that.” Chen Yekai answered, “But I refused.”
When their dishes arrived, Chen Yekai portioned out some soup for Yu Hao. Thai food really was appetizing. Yu Hao drank a bit of soup and looked at Chen Yekai carefully, “Then will you get married to a girl in the future?”
“I don’t know.” Chen Yekai pondered, then smiled, “I’m a bit perplexed.”
In the past two days, Yu Hao had always been reminiscing — he remembered his own budding feelings of love with someone of the same sex, and tried to analyse and understand various circumstances in which men began developing feelings for the same sex.
“Are you really concerned about it?” Chen Yekai asked, “When you asked me about my relationship history last night, was it because of Zhou Sheng? That’s why I asked you what Zhou Sheng said to you.”
“Uh......” Yu Hao knew that Chen Yekai understood what he was thinking and could easily see through him. In fact, Chen Yekai, Fu Liqun, and Zhou Sheng all seemed to be able to guess what he was thinking, so it would be useless to deny otherwise.
“Yes.” Yu Hao could only admit it honestly, “I was wondering, if he could like me, or rather, if we......un......if it would be possible for us......even if there was only a slight possibility......”
When Yu Hao said this in front of Chen Yekai, he felt like he was talking about a somewhat shameful wishful thinking, such as “if only I could become the mayor” and other such unrealistic fantasies. He was suddenly overcome with embarrassment.
But Chen Yekai didn’t laugh, and only said gently, “I think, maybe? He’s someone who isn’t really willing to face his own feelings; I think I understand him better in that respect than you do.” As he spoke, he picked up the cold water flask and topped up Yu Hao’s water for him.
Yu Hao said, “Really?”
“I don’t know.” Chen Yekai said as he looked like he was at a loss, then the two of them began to laugh.
“What’re you laughing for?” Chen Yekai wore a bewildered expression. Yu Hao shook his head, “I don’t know either.”
He found it easy to get along with Chen Yekai, and he was once again able to talk about anything under the sun without worrying about getting laughed at by the other party.
“Do you need any help?” Chen Yekai asked.
Yu Hao immediately said, “Okay!”
Chen Yekai became deeply lost in his thoughts, “Wu, let me see, what ways are there... Do you want to confess to Zhou Sheng? Take ten thousand steps back to see, in the best scenario, even if the confession isn’t successful, you can continue to be friends...”
When Yu Hao said ‘okay’, his original intention was to listen to what Chen Yekai thinks about this matter. He didn’t expect Chen Yekai to earnestly think of strategies for him, so he quickly said, “No I’m not talking about that kind of help! I was just thinking, under what kind of circumstance would a straight guy maybe develop feelings for the same sex. What I want, is a direction for me to strive towards.”
Chen Yekai broke out of his reverie and smiled. He answered, “I understand. A direction for you to strive towards — that’s the motive behind your question to me last night.”
Yu Hao sighed, “Some people say that liking a friend of the same sex is like waiting for a ship at the airport. Sometimes, I really don’t think it’s very possible, but I’m also reluctant to give up just like that. I feel quite conflicted about this.”