BXBX NOVEL Chapter 116 - "I NEED A BREAK...I NEED IT!"
Tinsley cursed inside her head, literally getting annoyed for bleeding so much.
The amount of blood gushing out of her seemed abnormal. She had the worst periods but she never bled this much.
It was alarming at the rate she was bleeding. She stood before the vanity mirror to check her eyesight and skin complexion.
She looked alright, pale...more than good being a sick person. She raised her t-shirt up to reveal her flat tummy.
She ran circled over herself with her fingers, glancing in her reflection. She remembered how Kian would do the same every time they would go to bed, thinking their baby was going inside of her.
After last night, he did not have to do so. It saddened her mind but what she could do.
She was trying very hard to look at the bright side of this. Madison\'s words kept ringing in her head and then Kian\'s confession was how he wanted to start a family with her...how he wanted everything to be deep with her.
It would overcast Madison\'s logical claims. The trains of thoughts as usual would not leave her...not even for one day.
She felt a kicking pain in her lower abdomen and she held tight on herself, rushing towards the bathroom.
She screamed out in pain as she felt blood seep out of her, flowing down through her thighs and then a large chunk of a blood clot fell out of her.
She sat on the toilet, and cried out, holding her abdomen in pain as she bled in the toilet.
She felt how her insides curled open to let those blood clots out. It was very disturbing to see them and flush them down the toilet.
She had never seen a clot that big. She cleaned herself once again and then rushed out of the bathroom.
She wondered where Kian was and why the hell he was taking so much time. She needed the tampons bad.
She opened his laptop and typed about her condition in the Google search engine.
In nanoseconds, the weblinks and information that popped put blew her mind out.
She gasped inside when she discovered what did not even cross her mind ever. It was a miscarriage.
She miscarried...their child. It was shocking and disturbing. Her hands were shaking when she clicked on the first web link to check on for further information.
When her eyes read everything that was being displayed on the white screen, running over every page and we link...tears made way in her eyes and fell freely out.
Her mouth let out a heavy sob as she clutched her abdomen with her hands as if hugging the child she just lost last night.
It was there...inside of her all these times. And she had no idea...no freaking idea.
She cried her heart out, hugging her flat empty belly. Her sobs echoed in the entire house.
"Oh, God!!"
She yelled out as pain in both her heart and abdomen intensified. She did not even get to say goodbye to her baby.
It was inside...he or she was inside her. Why did not she feel it?? Why did not she get one sign??
She walked up to the mirror and glanced at her belly. Her face was swollen and red from crying for straight five minutes.
Now running her hand over her belly, she could feel a little bloating on the lower abdomen and it broke her more.
She felt a sudden intense pressure from the inside of her and she ran towards the bathroom.
In the halfway, the blood came out of her and she gave up, falling straight on the pool of blood...her blood...her baby\'s blood.
Her sobs amplified as she slipped down on the floor, crying her heart out. Oh!! Her poor heart!!
The pain of child loss, she had no idea, she would have to go through that one day.
After hours of crying and trying to find answers, she rose up and like a robot cleaned the mess she created.
Swiping the blood, broke something deep inside her as she got inside the shower stroll later to clean the blood off of her body and face.
The water fell atop her skin like rain, calming her nerves. She closed her eyes trying to find peace someway...somehow.
She knew that this pain...this ache...this emptiness would not fade away so soon. But she had to try and live the next chapter of her life.
It was then with closed eyes, memories of her dead mother flashed inside her mind.
She was very young then, did not understand what was happening at all but now she did... at this moment she did.
She understood why her mother cried out loud, sitting on the toilet seat as she would come sneaking and watch her mother cry bloody marry in the middle of the night.
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"I need a break...I need it, Max."
He would not give a crap about it and take a seat on the leather sofa, lighting his cigarette.
"You need a break?? You do??"
And then he would question all of a sudden. Her mother would nod in positive. She kept her lips shut, listening to her parent\'s quarrel, holding her teddy close to her chest.
"You are given one job, Marshelly...one job to bear my goddamn son but you miscarry it every time."
He yelled out loud at her. She flinched back but kept herself shut. Her mother seemed lost.
"Don\'t you understand?? "
"Don\'t I understand what??"
Her father shouted, standing up and towering over her mother\'s small figure. At that moment, she wanted to run to her mother and hug her.
"I can\'t keep going through this...it breaks me every time, Max."
Marshelly cried. "It\'s breaking me...I need a fucking break...I need to mend myself first before..."
"...before you can go running back to your baby daddy??"
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"Tinsley??? I m home!!"
Tinsley\'s eyes opened up instantly. She had been out daydreaming her childhood, not hearing Kian\'s arrival.
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