BXBX NOVEL Chapter 170 - I Never Received One
"You\'re lucky," Emor Tripas remarked, forcing a little smile. "Some people thought that receiving love from their parents is a given, but... I never received one." He paused and shifted his gaze to the dark outdoors again. Then he added, "Even until now, I don\'t know the meaning of love, how it means to love someone or... how it feels to be loved. I know nothing about it."
Feeling flustered, Iria Alewine stared at him, waiting for him to continue.
"My late father finds pleasure in punishing me and pushing me to my limits," he finally confessed. "He always told me that I was too weak to be his son, unlike my capable elder brother." Narrowing his eyes at the floor, he added, "All my memories of my childhood were filled with those. I don\'t remember anything else."
Iria Alewine didn\'t even know what to say! She heard many stories about the tyranny of the late King Rowan Tripas but... this never once crossed her mind! Even animals loved their own children, don\'t they?
"My father\'s rivalry with my uncle was widely known. For my father, his younger brother was his nemesis. Maybe he saw me that way too. He was wary of me and thought of me as a threat to my older brother who was the Crown Prince at that time. For him, my older brother was the only one that mattered. My existence alone bothered him."
Emor Tripas paused and nervously pressed his fingers together. Then he finally turned to Iria. "But do you know what hurt me even more? The fact that even my mother, the one who gave birth to me turned a blind eye to everything. She never once helped me or console me whenever I was beaten up."
With a little smirk, he continued, "Instead, she blamed me, saying that it was my fault for failing to win my father\'s heart. My older brother also treated me as if I was invisible. He never talked to me, let alone meet me."
Brushing the Crown Prince\'s ring on his finger with his thumb, he said, "As far as I could remember, my uncle was the only one who used to come to me and comfort me. My father was the King, so even my uncle couldn\'t challenge him openly. As such, there was nothing much he could do for me. But seeing my uncle taking my side always infuriated my father even more.
"There is a dungeon below this palace. While growing up, I spent many days and nights in the dungeon as a punishment. I would be whipped or beaten almost every day. Even when I bled too much, he would still leave me behind and I had to survive the cold nights with those untreated wounds."
"What caused those?" Iria Alewine asked, finally speaking up for the first time since he started telling her his story.
"That\'s what I always wanted to know too. I don\'t know what I did to deserve such punishments," Emor Tripas replied. Slowly shaking his head once, he said, "If I had known the reason, will it be better?"
"How old were you then?" the Commander asked again. If those experiences made him developed his illness, then... he might be very young.
Emor Tripas shifted his gaze back to the outdoors and said, "When everything started, I was 4. However, it wasn\'t too much at that time. Then my father\'s actions increased as time passed. When I turned 10, it was already too much for me to handle."
Thinking of her question about his illness, the Crown Prince added, "Whenever I felt someone\'s touch on me, I was reminded of those whips, wounds, physical abuse and tormenting nights in the dungeon. The pain resurfaced and it always feels like my whole body is burning. The pain is always too much for me to bear."
Was that why there were so many scars on his body? Iria Alewine finally understood the response he gave her that day in Jerivia. When she asked if it hurt while she treated his wound, he told her that he was used to it.
It\'s the way he grew up. Those kinds of wounds were always a part of his life.
How can there be this severe child abuse in the royal family? Just how heartless must the late King be!
"I thought that I will be fine as it had been five years but... when I saw that child today, my ignored pleas during all those years echoed in my ears. It felt so suffocating," Emor Tripas muttered in a low voice.
His hands that were still pressed together out of nervousness, his lifeless eyes that still hinted at pain and his face that was paler than ever... the Commander just noticed how hard he struggled to say his story to her. Then Emor Tripas looked at her and understood her thoughts.
"Don\'t feel bad for me. I already recovered a lot," he said. "To be honest, people thought that I would loathe Arin Helev for what he did 5 years ago. But... they don\'t know that his action was what made me escaped that hell. If he didn\'t defeat my father back then, I don\'t know what will become of me."
He turned to Iria and forced a little smile when he asked, "That\'s selfish of me, right?"
"I think it\'s only natural to feel that way," the Commander promptly replied. "After all, you\'re not the reason why the war happened or why your father lost." Observing him for a while, Iria Alewine asked, "Then how is your life now?"
"My uncle can be a little violent at times. Maybe it\'s running in the family\'s blood," Emor Tripas responded. "However, compared to my life back then, my current life is a hundred... no... a thousand times better."
"Are you directing to that wound on your shoulder?" Iria Alewine inquired.
"You have more questions than I thought," Emor Tripas said with a subtle smile. "My uncle doubt me when I said that I know nothing about the involvement of the Zoris Army in that war. I try to explain but it only made him more furious. He often resorted to violence when he lost his cool and... it happened."