BXBX NOVEL Chapter 351
Chapter 351
“As someone who also feels shock, fear, sadness, loath, rage, and many more negative emotions, I will give you some advice.”
Although Lyla was grateful for Zich’s sympathy, she couldn’t help but ask, “Do you really hate Brave that much?”
Since Zich said he had the same feelings as her, he probably felt all the emotions he mentioned about Zich Brave. How much despair and hopelessness did one have to experience to feel so many distressing emotions at once? Even Lyla didn’t have all those feelings although she was going through deep turmoil.
“Yeah,” Zich answered.
It was just one word without any more embellishments, but out of everything Lyla had heard from Zich, she thought it was the sincerest words to have ever come out of him. The strong conviction shining in Zich’s eyes emphasized this even more. Lyla pressed her lips together.
“How awful. Were you sad remembering the horrifying memories of yourself that are opposite to who you are now?” Zich began to look at Lyla pitifully. It was unbelievable that the cold-hearted Zich was sympathizing with a person for being in a similar position as him.
‘How much could he possibly hate Brave!’ The confidence she had gathered in the recent days about being able to read Zich’s thoughts shattered into pieces. However, regardless of what Lyla’s state of mind was, Zich gave her the best advice he could possibly give.
“First of all, the simplest method to get rid of most of the negative feelings is to deny that person is you.”
“…What do you mean that person isn’t me? That was definitely who I was.” Lyla had seen everything clearly through Finel’s memories. The princess she saw through Finel’s eyes was herself.
Yet, Zich simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “Think about it a bit differently.”
“I know what you are saying. You are asking me how I could treat two people with different memories, thoughts, methodologies, and worldview as one just because their physical bodies are the same. I suppose you want me to go further beyond what a ‘person’s identity’ is and think about what the essence of a ‘person’ is.” Lyla looked at Zich like she was surprised and said, “I didn’t think you would offer such a philosophical solution to my problem, but I’m sorry. I don’t think a part of me can separate myself from that person I saw with such a method.”
“…I guess there was a method like that. I suppose you really are a mage trying to approach the problem with logical thinking.”
“…That isn’t what you were suggesting? Then, what’s the method you came up with?”
“It’s simple. You really, really hate that person, right? Enough to pierce their heart with a sword as soon as they appear in front of your eyes, right? You know, your current self is completely different from that person, so the more you think about it, there’s no way that disgusting person could be you. Yeah, there’s no way she could be me.” Lyla could see a calm madness swirling in Zich’s eyes. “Do you get it Lyla? It’s not possible for that guy to be the same person as me. Just not possible. It’s meaningless to even wonder about it. That’s just the conclusion you should reach.”
“…At the very least, I think I can tell how much you hate Zich Brave’s existence.”
“In reality, I don’t think that guy is the same person as me. I won’t admit it or accept it. I can’t even comprehend it.”
“Y-Yeah, I got it.” In a way, Zich Brave surpassed Glen Zenard as his greatest arch-nemesis.
“Seeing your reaction, it seems like it’s hard for you to accept this method too.”
“Yet.”
“Well, the foolproof method is to remove the cause of the emotions—even though you have no reason to feel any more pain since you are not the same person as your version before the regression.”
“But that’s impossible even for you.” Seeing how Zich became infuriated at the mention of Brave’s name, he wasn’t carrying out the method he suggested well either.
“Even I have things that are impossible for me to do. I am not an idiot who thinks I can do anything. I am actually a very humble person.”
Although she wanted to engrave the definition of humility in 20,000 letters into his brain, Lyla knew her words wouldn’t really get to him anyways and decided to ignore his comment. It was the right decision.
“If it’s impossible to erase the cause of these emotions, we could just leave it up to time. A person’s memory is very convenient. No matter how painful or difficult a memory is, the magic of time can help repress it. Of course, this magic doesn’t work all the time, and seeing your response right now, you don’t seem to want that cure.”
“Yes.”
“Then, the most effective way is self-justification and exempting yourself from any behavior or thought.”
“Self-justification…” Lyla murmured.
“Well, it’s a method that many bad guys who don’t have the guts to come to terms with their sins head-on use often, but it doesn’t make it any less effective. If you don’t like the sound of the word, think of it as atonement. I think they are both the same thing anyways, like two sides of a coin.”
“…If I had to do something for atonement, what would be a good idea?”
“Do you really need to look for one? There’s one thing we are already working hard on.”
Lyla immediately knew what Zich was talking about. “Kind acts.”
“That’s it.” Zich gestured with his fingers. “Turn over your sympathy about Finel and the times you can’t even remember with kind acts. I can tell you about this in detail. I’m your senior in that field.” At Zich’s words, Lyla burst into a small chuckle.
“That’s true. You are my senior. Snoc too.”
“Moreover, the kind acts we are doing is beating up bad guys. It’s the same as stopping Demon Lord Lyla. Don’t you feel more at ease thinking this way?”
“Yeah, we just have to act like Zich Brave, right?”
“…I didn’t think you were the type to repay generosity with ungratefulness.”
Lyla burst into laughter again; it was louder than the last one. It was too much of a stretch to say that she had returned to normal, but her mood was definitely better than before.
“Were you comforted a bit?”
“A little bit. I got it, Zich. I’ll follow your words. I can’t think of any good method for myself anyways.”
“That’s a great decision.”
“You’ll help me in the future, right? As my senior.” Lyla stared at Zich with a gaze full of trust.
Zich also faced her gaze head-on. “Of course. I’ll perfectly educate you on how to make your enemies fall into a pit of despair.”
“I don’t need that.”
Zich complained about how he couldn’t understand her reasoning. Like this, they finished discussing Lyla’s feelings, and they moved onto the next topic.
“I’ve obtained new memories.”
“Other than the memory Finel forcibly planted in you?”
“Yeah. Memories I’ve lost.”
This really piqued Zich’s interest. “Were you able to get all your memories back?”
Zich was able to easily predict that Lyla probably had an enormous number of memories just by the current memories she had. If she was able to retrieve all her memories, it would be very helpful in the future.
‘Especially in revealing Glen Zenard’s true identity.’
“No, that’s not it.”
It was a slightly disappointing reply, but Zich didn’t dwell too long on this and continued to listen to Lyla.
“I’m just a memory device. I’m sure there’s a separate device that reads and utilizes my memory, and that’s probably the reason why I don’t have proper access to my memories. But Finel shuffled through my mind to look at my memories, so I was able to remember to a certain extent. To be exact, the memories that I can remember are the ones Finel took out.”
“It seems like she wasn’t able to take out all the memories?”
“Yeah, it seems like you intervened while she was extracting them.”
“Then, there’s no reason for me to be disappointed.” If the price of this information was a threat to Lyla’s life, he didn’t need it. This was the meaning behind Zich’s words, and Lyla was able to realize this meaning without much difficulty.
“…”
“What?”
“Ah, it’s nothing! Rather than that, information—we were talking about information, right?” Lyla quickly changed the topic. “Even if I have memories, I don’t have all the memories of everything that happened before a regression. Even though they must have considered this factor while creating me, they still wouldn’t be able to put all the memories that happened before a regression. Just think about what would happen, if all the memories of the past, including information about a path that a neighbor passed through, were saved.”
“It’s useless, and it would also take up a lot of memory space.”
“Yeah. I’m saying this again, but I’m just a memory device. I need a separate output system if I want to take out my memories. If you want to put memories into me, you need a different input system.”
“Only the memories injected by the input device are stored in you.”
“Yep.”
“What is that input system?”
“Estellade and Tornium.”
Familiar names came out of Lyla’s mouth. Zich looked back without thinking. Hans was at the end of the tunnel; in the room where the tree was. Estellade would still be hanging from his waist.
“The information near those two swords is automatically stored in my head.”
“That must be the reason why you were able to remember me and Glen Zenard to a certain extent, even when you lost your memories.”
Zich had used Tornium, and Glen had used Estellade. Then, naturally, their actions would be embedded into Lyla’s memories.
“Yes. It’s not like I don’t have other memories, but I especially have a lot of memories about you and Glen Zenard. So that’s why, Zich.”
“Hmm?”
“One of the memories I retrieved is about Glen Zenard.”
Zich gladly welcomed any information about Glen Zenard; he urged Lyla to quickly continue with his eyes.
“We were suspicious that Glen Zenard was the one behind the robed organization, right?”
“Yeah, we’re almost certain of it now.”
“We’re right. The one behind it is Glen Zenard.”
“I knew it!” Even if Zich was sure of it, it was better to have the most evidence possible, especially if this new evidence was the final nail in the coffin.
Zich smirked. His mouth slightly opened, and his canine teeth looked threatening. He looked as if he was going to bite off Glen’s neck at any moment.
“So he masked himself as a hero and tricked the whole world? Let’s see if he can act the same way even after we reveal his true face.” Zich imagined this day and chuckled in glee. Then, he asked, “Can you explain to me what you saw?”
“Glen Zenard was giving an order to a man, and robed figures were gathered around them.”
“Hmm, a man. Is he perhaps an underboss or administrator?”
“There was something slightly strange. Glen only gave an order to that man. Then, the man gave another order and the robed figures started moving.”
“If he’s the administrator, that’s nothing strange. In an organization of that size, it would be ridiculous if a boss gave every single order.”
“Do you also think so?
“If you thought that something was strange, there might be something more to it.” Zich thought and asked, “Perhaps, did you feel that the robed figures seemed to be more loyal to the man than Glen Zenard?”
“Well, I’m not sure but it seemed so…”
“Maybe Glen Zenard didn’t create the organization.”
“What do you me…ah!” Lyla realized what Zich meant. “You’re saying that the organization is that man’s, and Glen Zenard is merely controlling that guy, right?”
“Yep. Maybe that’s more likely. When a regression happens, everything returns back to square one, and that’s also the same for Glen Zenard. Then, would he be able to make such a large organization in that short timeframe? Well, I won’t say it’s impossible, but it’s hard to believe.”
“In short, you’re saying that Glen found out about that organization while going through his regression and made the boss of that organization his subordinate, right?”
“Yeah. Of course, we need to find out more about this to be certain, but it’s true that a new character has emerged. At the same time, we found a clue to peel off that bastard’s face.” Judging by Zich’s grinning face, he was clearly very pleased.