BXBX NOVEL Chapter 222
“Lulu...” Ronan sighed.
He brushed against Lucien’s cheeks with his thumb to wipe his lover’s tears away.
If only he could do the same with the pain in Lucien’s heart.
If only he could erase the painful memories in Lucien’s brain, leaving only the sweet, happy memories behind.
“I love you,” Ronan whispered. “I love you so much... My sweet Lucien, my love.”
Ronan caressed Lucien’s beautiful hair and face again and again while waiting for his knot to deflate. Once the Alpha was able to dislodge himself, he swept Lucien into his arms and carried him to the bathroom.
Exhausted physically and mentally, Lucien remained asleep while Ronan cleaned him and put clean clothes on him.
After the Alpha tucked his mate into bed and cleared the smell of their mixed pheromones and sex from the room, he called for a Healer.
.....
Having been waiting for the summon, the Healer came almost instantly. He checked Lucien’s vitals and wound before he re-bandaged the latter’s head.
“How is he?” Ronan asked, standing by Lucien’s side and crossing his arms before his chest.
The Healer tucked Lucien back under the blanket properly before he answered Ronan.
“Reporting to the Alpha, the head wound is not serious. Mr. Clearwater has a slight fever and his heartbeat is irregular. It might be due to excessive stress.”
Ronan gave a subtle nod.
That was expected.
“I shall prescribe a herbal concoction for Mr. Clearwater to relieve his fever and calm his mind. Best to take it at night with a glass of milk. I shall arrange for the delivery every night.”
“Understood, you can leave.”
The Healer bowed deeply in front of Ronan and then excused himself to give the Alpha and his mate some privacy.
On the bed, Lucien’s eyes fluttered open. He turned to gaze at Ronan who was holding his hand.
“Awake? How are you feeling?”
Lucien lifted a hand to his face and rubbed between his brows.
“Mnh. I am okay.”
Other than the stinging eyes and hoarse voice, he did not feel too bad.
The bed creaked softly when Ronan climbed into the bed and pressed a kiss on Lucien’s lips.
“I know that you don’t want to talk about it,” he said.
“Then don’t talk about it,” Lucien snapped at him with a glare.
Ronan squeezed Lucien’s hand and continued nonetheless, “I just want to tell you that you can rely on me. I want to be your strength.”
Lucien’s gaze softened. Smiling weakly, he caressed Ronan’s cheek. “You already are.”
Ronan shook his head. He pressed a hand over Lucien’s and laced their fingers together.
“I am not. You always choose to depend on yourself, refusing to share your burden with me.”
Lucien averted his eyes with a sigh.
“Ronan, I am not a woman.”
“I never think of you as one,” Ronan furrowed his brows. “Do you need to be a woman to depend on your mate?”
Lucien shook his head. He narrowed his eyes at his mate and said, “You know what I mean.”
“Because you are an alpha as well?”
Lucien tilted his head with a bitter smile.
“Of course. I don’t think you would like it if I come to you, bawling my eyes out due to some stupid picture. Or sprayed graffiti.”
“Honestly? Today, I wish you would.”
Lucien chuckled.
“Oh, Ronan, you...”
The Alpha pressed their laced fingers to his lips.
“I hurt too,” he whispered. “I feel a lot of pain, Lulu. Will you push me away if I seek solace from you?”
Lucien shook his head. “Of course not.”
“Then what makes you think that I will push you away when you need me?”
“... I don’t.”
Ronan raised an eyebrow.
“If I, with my current position as an Alpha, can throw away my ego and expose my vulnerable side to you, can you do the same? For me?”
Lucien stared at Ronan for a while before he lowered his eyes in guilt.
He envied the man before him a lot. Not because he was an Alpha. Or because he was respected by the entire werewolf community. It was Ronan’s openness to a range of emotions that Lucien was mostly envious of.
The man was not afraid to expose his weakness. Fear, sadness, pain. Ronan accepted the negative emotions, internalized them, and used them to become stronger.
Lucien was never able to do that. He would rather suppress the negative feelings and pretend that they didn’t exist than address them.
Ever since he was young, he was used to building a huge, impenetrable wall around his battered heart. He did not want anyone to know that he was hurting inside. He growled at others to stay away whenever they came close to inspect his wounds. After he made sure that no one was around, he whined and cried to comfort himself.
But now he was no longer alone.
He and Ronan were bound together as mates. Mates were linked to each other. In body, heart, and soul. Lucien knew that much.
“Mmn,” he mumbled, raising his eyes to meet Ronan’s. “I will do my best to change.”
A warm smile appeared on Ronan’s handsome face. As long as Lucien was willing to open himself, Ronan was more than willing to wait for him.
“Alright,” the Alpha said. “You should rest. Today was rather stressful.”
“Ronan, what did you do to those people?” Lucien grabbed Ronan’s sleeves when the Alpha rose to go. He naturally referred to the people who were involved in the riot at the art gallery.
Ronan’s expression turned cold when he was reminded of the awful bunch who hurt his mate.
“They are getting what they deserve,” he replied cruelly.
“You didn’t kill them, did you?” Lucien asked, his eyes widened in terror.
Ronan tossed out a mocking laughter.
“Kill them? Noo.”
Why would he? He considered death to be absolution and not a punishment. They should suffer tenfold for what they inflicted on Lucien. Nothing less than that.