BXBX NOVEL Chapter 261 - 261 A Tough Question
This is too scary.
I took a deep breath, figuring maybe that I needed to eat. I haven’t eaten since school, and school was three hours ago, which still doesn’t justify my sudden ravenous hunger for food.
I walked to the cafeteria, in which chicken and brown rice was being served. The meal wasn’t very good, but not too bad to where it was uneatable.
As I grabbed my tray, I saw people coming in and out to Malachi’s table, in which he was sitting with the rest of my team.
Some laughed, some flirted as usual, or some just came to ask a simple question, which was weird.
But once they all left, it was as if a cat was now out of a bag, and the group began talking. I needed to hear what they were talking about without disturbing their conversation, because my presence would just delay things.
But the first sentence uttered out of Tisiah’s mouth startled me.
“Hey, guys, I don’t think Connor is okay. I think there’s something that he isn’t telling us.”
.....
My legs froze, unwilling to move any closer. I could see September lean back, as if the information hit her with a bat.
“What makes you think that?” she asked, her eyes narrowed in confusion. Tisiah sighed and shook his head worriedly. “I was talking to him, and he was talking about some blue drive. I asked him what it was, and he said he thought it was something important to finding Matthew Lock, but it was just something that belonged to the YMPA anyways.”
“Yeah… so what’s the problem?” Nikki asked, rubbing her chin, in which she seemed really interested—but also concerned.
“That story is very odd. First, why would he not tell us this information? If it’s dealing with Matthew Lock, it’s probably a good idea to tell us. Correct me if I’m wrong.”
September nodded, although I wasn’t sure in agreement or in response to Tisiah’s question. But her enthusiastic nod seemed to answer my question.
“And he seemed so—shaky once he said that. As if that was the complete opposite of what happened. Like that story was one hundred percent bogus.”
“It probably is,” Malachi said. I felt a bit hurt from his comment. Is that what he thought of me?
I looked to the side of me, seeing an empty table that was blocked by some other junior-agent students socializing with their friends.
I quickly took my place there, close enough to clearly hear their conversation.
“I hope not,” Tisiah muttered. “Maybe he wanted it as a surprise. But I know Connor isn’t like that. I remember when I first met him, he was quite stiff and straightforward, and alone. That’s why I befriended him. So this is unlike him—very much unlike him.”
“I don’t think Connor is hiding anything from us,” September said. “He’s always been open and has always told us the truth.”
“Yes, but maybe this one is different. It could be possible that he is—indeed—hiding something.”
“Nonsense.”
“Connor will tell us if he needs to keep something secret. We just have to respect his wishes and let him do as he pleases. I’m sure he has his reasons, and we’re all here for him. We are supposed to trust each other.”
“I agree with September,” Malachi said. “Connor is a very trustful person. However, sometimes people change, and this could be that time. He is young after all, and he should get to know us more before saying something like that. And we shouldn’t get the wrong idea either. He might have had a good reason to say that, so maybe there is a good chance it’s true.”
“Yeah, he might just have had a really bad day at school. And since we’re here, we should ask him later when he’s in a better mood.”
I was in a good mood. Now I’m not.
“Well, it would help if he actually tells the rest of us about this blue drive of his. Otherwise, he’s going to remain suspicious,” Malachi said. Nikki looked at him with a scrunched attitude. “Do you want him to be some sneaky type of guy or something?” she asked. Malachi shook his head in the negative. Then he nodded. “Alright, yeah, let’s wait and see what he says about it.”
“So, how did everything go?” September asked.
“Fine, fine,” Tisiah said.
“Are you alright? Do you need a break from training? You seem exhausted.”
“No, no, I’m okay. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I just got some bad news.”
As they continued talking, their voices slowly began to muffle and the beating of my heart climbed in volume. They were still talking about my ‘blue drive’, which I knew wasn’t good for me.
I glanced around the table to make sure that nobody else was watching. I shouldn’t have answered Greg’s call, because now I might have messed up a lot of things. What if they began to investigate? What if they told Mr. Drails? Now my teeth chattered, and it wasn’t even cold. I needed to do something, but what?
They said they were going to ask me. But what do I even tell them? I had a feeling that I was about to be found out. I stood and rushed over to the food line.
I didn’t care anymore that Malachi’s eyes were on me. I just wanted to run, and there was nowhere to run to. I didn’t feel safe; I didn’t feel like I could ever truly fit in with any group again. I needed to fix this. But I felt helpless in making that claim. I had a choice. Whether to let Mr. Drails, the president of literally the top MSTO organization, continue his puzzling plan? Or do I work with Fulton and stop him, or at least know his plan?
It was hard. Very hard. Especially considering I had been a part of the YMPA for quite some time, and I was loyal—for the most part.
But I’ve always felt like I could never trust him. I mean, I could trust him, but not now. And now, I’m not even sure if I can trust Tisiah—-or the whole group in that matter.
“What’s going on? Is everyone okay? Did someone get hurt? Is everything alright?” Tisiah asked, looking straight at me. It was as if the Earth finally caught my attention, and I jumped from his sudden arrival. I stammered, trying to muster the words of what to say. “Yeah…” I blurted out, a bit embarrassed from that result.
“Connor, what’s wrong? You’re shaking.”
“No, no… I’m fine,” I lied, although my fingers were gripping my knife so tightly that my knuckles turned white. Tisiah narrowed his eyes to look at me suspiciously. I saw him lick his lips, wondering if I was telling the truth or not.
“What’s going on, Connor? We all need to know. What did you do? Tell us, man. You have to tell us.”
I took a deep breath, willing to let the words flow. But my conscience was working against me, and my mouth trembled like my lips were sitting on a vibrating chair, which I felt like I needed right now.
“I don’t really remember it happening…”
“I’m not buying that. Now just come out with it, kid. What’s going on? Why are you acting like this?” Malachi asked, his eyebrow raised in confusion.
I took another deep breath and then glanced at the floor. I wanted to tell them, but I felt like I couldn’t. I felt as if someone was forcing me, although I wanted to submit and confess. But how could I? I had to think of a good excuse.
“Okay. I’ll tell you, but I want to be honest with all of you. So please, respect my decision. Okay?”
They all looked at each other, as if they needed time to decide. However, my heart pounded heavily in my chest and I didn’t think I had much time left. I needed to create a story in my head, very quickly as I could. “Uh—-okay—-um, I had this blue drive which was meant for something more personal for me. Like, family kind of personal, and being that it was something that was in my personal life, I didn’t want you guys to be involved with it. It would be very embarrassing, if I could say it in that way, and just—-not justifiable to the situations that have encountered my family.”
Silence took the space between the five of us. I glanced down, as the silence grew longer and louder. September pursed her lips into a cute, pouty expression as she thought. Malachi was still looking at me, staring me straight in the eyes and scrutinizing me.
“I didn’t know that,” Tisiah muttered. “I honestly didn’t know that.”
Malachi nodded, his head bobbing up and down. “So, you’re telling us the truth? You’ve never lied to us before?”
“What would make you think that?” I asked quickly, almost too quickly enough to cause suspicion, in which I dialed down.
“I’m not sure what else to believe now. You keep saying things like ‘I don’t remember,’ or ‘I can’t think straight’ or even, ‘I’m not okay’, and…well, I feel like you’re making excuses to us,” he said.
“You have no idea…but there isn’t any lie. I can assure you that much,” I said. “My spy and family world are two different things, and not something for you guys to worry about. Trust me. I wouldn’t want to disappoint Mr. Drails either. So if you need to, trust your leader. He knows what’s best, you know?”
They chuckled. “Alright,” Tisiah said, rolling his eyes, in which I chuckled. “Come, give me a hug.”
The four of us walked toward the table. Tisiah went first. I looked at him, a bit confused, but then I leaned in and hugged his massive frame. I felt a bit shocked, but eventually I closed in. I smiled as we did, but that only made me feel a bit more sad now. I lied to them, and they’re treating me like a family. How can I be so cruel to them?
“I need to go for a walk. I want to clear my head.”
“Can I come with you?” Nikki asked, her arms folded.
I glanced up at September who was smiling, as Tisiah shook his head and pushed her back. She stumbled backward and landed on her behind.
“No, I want to do this alone.”
She scooted up her chair and stood up, as I began to leave the cafeteria. I sighed as I exited the cafeteria, just thinking about the slide of events that just happened.