Chapter 78 Desperate
My brain stopped functioning after hearing my brother\'s words about him loving me and him being separated from me.
I didn\'t know what to feel. Should I be happy that my brother shares the same feeling I have for him or should I just let go of my last bit of sanity and tie my brother so that he can\'t leave me for eternity?
I really wanted to tie him up and snuggle into him. Feel his warmth, hear his heartbeat, and receive his gentle head pats that are filled with love. Touch his body, rhythm my breathing to his, and kiss him passionately.
But I couldn\'t do that unless he gives me permission for it because I didn\'t want my brother to hate me.
Last year was hard for me as I had too many impulses that want me to possess my brother, leave my marks all over him and push him to the bed.
However, I held back and didn\'t do anything drastic even with my brother\'s constant teasings, as I didn\'t want to scare him with my different-than-normal behavior.
I was always a good girl and always be one so that my brother continues to love me and embraces me instead of hating me and pushing me away.
My life was meaningless if my brother hated me.
That is why I didn\'t know what to do other than hug my brother tightly and beg him to not leave me even if this separation was an important thing for him.
And that is why I did. I hugged my brother and buried my face in his strong shoulders.
"Please don\'t leave me! Can\'t I come with you? Why are leaving me?"
Tears came from my eyes, wetting his dark red uniform while quiet sobs escaped from my mouth.
I pulled my face from his shoulder, as I didn\'t want to make his clothes dirty like a bad girl.
I was a good girl who was spoiled by my brother but there was a limit for spoiled good girls and I didn\'t want to cross that limit and make my brother feel troubled because of my irresponsible actions.
But before I pulled my face, my brother\'s hand pressed to the back of my head and made my face to buried again into his shoulder.
I felt my brother\'s hand, which was caressing my hair, and heard his gentle voice:
"Shhh… I know you are sad and I am sad too. So let\'s cry together without holding back and speak without any care. As you know I won\'t judge you."
I couldn\'t hold back anymore after hearing his words of consent and hugged my brother tighter then pulled him to me with my legs which were still around his waist.
I pressed his entire body to mine and enveloped myself with his calming presence.
Being in the embrace of my brother always calmed me but this time it didn\'t work like every other time.
Tears fell from my eyes without stopping and a low chuckle escaped from my mouth.
Because I felt my brother still stiff cock that pokes my pussy from the fabric of his and my clothes.
My feelings were in mess and I didn\'t want anything other than just to hug my brother and sleep. There was no lust in me at the moment.
But an idea came to my mind. It was to use my brother\'s desire for me to prevent him to leave me.
It was a very shameful thing to do but I was desperate. I didn\'t want to be separated from my brother for who knows how long.
I slowly rubbed my crotch back and forth to his penis and bit his neck with my mouth which was wet because of my tears.
But before I knew it, I felt a sticky and hot sensation on my neck, where my brother buried his face.
He was licking my neck.
I felt his hand, which was roaming toward my breast.
I didn\'t understand what happened at that second but the lust that disappeared came again after the sensation caused by my brother.
My brother\'s strong hands covered my breasts, then he pinched my nipples.
"Ahhh!"
It was a strange sensation. I felt the pain but it aroused me further.
I lifted his face from my neck and looked into his beautiful blue eyes that shines like sapphires.
I wouldn\'t mind looking into his eyes for years without doing anything.
But this wasn\'t the time to lose myself in his eyes.
I held his head from his cheeks and pulled his face to mine, then began kissing him again.
My brother responded to my kiss while his hands danced around my body while sliding lower and lower.
I didn\'t mind his touch at all, as this body of mine was his in the beginning.
I was my brother\'s property and he could use me however he wanted as long as he didn\'t hate me.
And I didn\'t hate his touch either, it was just embarrassing but it wasn\'t enough for me to stop him.
His hands reached to my butt, grabbing its cheeks and squeezing them gently while moving it around.
"Ohh!"
A shameful moan came from me breaking our kiss in the half but my brother didn\'t let me for a second and planted his lips to mine again.
His hands didn\'t even stop for a second and one of them began to slide to my pussy, which was throbbing with excitement.
My brother didn\'t make me wait more as I felt his palm brush my pubic hair and his fingers rested on top of my wet slit.
My heart began to pound with anticipation and embarrassment as even I didn\'t touch my pussy too much because it was a shameful thing to do.
My brother\'s fingers danced around my slit, smearing my love juices all over his hand and my thighs.
And he abruptly stopped touching me and separated his lips from mine.
I looked at him with a confused expression because it was too sudden but my heart skipped a beat when I saw him licking his finger that was covered by my juices.
"It is sweet. I didn\'t even expect something different from my dear Lucy."
Ahhhhh!
Feelings exploded inside me making me more unstable than normal.
I didn\'t know that I could love my brother more than now but when he said this to me, my love for him soared more.
I pushed him to the side and got on top of him.
My body moved instinctively, grinding my throbbing wet pussy to his tent.
Why was he still wearing these pants?
I brought my hands to remove his pants but while I was trying to unbutton them, my brother held my wrist and pushed me to the bed again as if our positions didn\'t change at all.
He leaned towards my ear and whispered softly while letting out his breath, making my pussy tingle more and more.
"I know you want it and I want it too but let\'s take it slowly."
He put his forehead to mine and looked into my eyes with clarity.
And that is how I understand my brother\'s great resistance to lust.
"I want our first time to be special, not one that is forced just because you don\'t want me to leave."