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Wait, didn’t mean that, taking that back, ahem, what I meant was – method acting sucks.

It really, really sucks.

No disrespect to the art itself, but honestly, the fact that I have to constantly twist my lingo so that everything that comes out of my lips is some kind of fancy pretentious italics before anybody would acknowledge my existence even in-between scenes, is a whole new level of psycho roleplay that belongs strapped and left rambling in an insane asylum.

I’m well aware that movie-making was an absolute slog to get through. Take after take taken in multiple angles, in different inflections, made even harder by the fact that I had to improvise every line on the fly and hope to god that the blooper reel isn’t just composed of all my slip-ups.

Yet still, knowing that it’s a slog doesn’t make it any less of a slog. I still wanted to die every time the damn director rewound time back to the beginning, ‘More feeling!’ he chides me... oh, I’ll give you more damn feeling alright, you’re gonna be feeling it all night long.

Wait, that sounded wrong.

.....

My only source of refuge was the breaktimes sprinkled between every hundred-millionth take, which I efficiently utilized to make heads or tails as to what exactly we were acting our souls out for.

As I know it, the film’s center premise was Leonardo being flung into a far, uncharted land of Altera, a forgotten, segregated nation in the realm of Asteria, forsaken by the Seven Divines, and his struggle to return to familiar lands.

It’s pretty much your typical standard fantasy affair, where eventually he’d form a party with a rag-tag group of misfits in his search to find the portal rumored to be created long ago by the First Divine, Frederika, that would ultimately lead him back home.

Except there’s a catch – in that the portal would activate only in the presence of Frederika, or to those that share in her lineage, and I guess that’s where Amanda’s character, Tressa, comes in, the last living descendant of the First Divine herself, which then leads into the climax of the movie, wherein Terestra herself shows in order to stop our beloved heroes from activating the portal and sending Leonardo home.

Where Chester fits in all these, I’m still trying to figure that out. So far, in my debut, I’m just a savvy thief attempting to swindle the Great Hero of his coin pouch.

According to the script, the next scene involves Leonardo realizing the absence of his coin, and confronting me about it... which would then somehow unravel into a full-blown tavern fight, which involves a lot of thrown punches and a lot of bruised faces.

Mine, in particular.

Suffice it to say, I’m not particularly looking forward to the next time I hear someone scream ‘Action!’.

For curiosity’s sake, I decided to ring up Dad for a bit. I don’t know – something about engaging with his movie counterpart was slightly disconcerting to me... guess I just needed to hear the real deal, before, in the madness, my mind starts convincing myself that Leon is my real Dad or something.

‘Sides, if the game Asteria was indeed based on his many exploits in Kronocia, who’s to say that this far-fetched premise we were reenacting wasn’t with a sliver of truth?

“Yes, that did happen,” came the stoic, nonchalant sledgehammer of revelation. “All of it is true.”

At this point, I know I shouldn’t even be surprised to hear it... but goddamn it, my head was reeling anyway.

I squeezed the phone to my ear, trying to hear better through the incessant clucking of chickens. “Whisked away to an abandoned land called Altera? Finding a portal to get back home? Meeting a descendant of one of the Divines?”

“Some slight alterations, I don’t know this Chester, but, yes, that all happened,” He said as forthcomingly as ever. “Your mother didn’t like being foiled at every turn, so she sent me to a land forgotten by the Divines, and only through the aid of the Divine-descendant Tressa, did I manage to return.”

Once more, head reeling... needed to take a second, and came up with a very good question.

“Y’know, this game Asteria, that Grieven made, revolves around you...”

Dad grunted. “I’m very flattered.”

“But how does he know about every single little thing you did? The sidequest, the story, it’s through your eyes... how does that – ?”

“From what your mother has told me, your villain is a Chronicler turned Magus, isn’t he? Well, there’s your answer. Every month, I would report my deeds back to Seven Churches, they keep track of everything I’ve done, in a book, on a shelf, within an archive somewhere. I say that’s where he got his inspirations.”

Hearing Dad speak about this old life, a totally separate piece of history from what I knew, was perhaps just as disconcerting as witnessing a discount version of my Dad attempting to reenact bits and pieces of this old history.

In a sense, I guess this movie could pass off as a biopic.

“There’s another thing as well,” I said, gazing at the script in my hand, and sifting through the scenes. “This... Tressa character. She’s really a descendant of a Divine, huh?”

“Yes.”

“There’s such a thing? Didn’t think there’d be a need to procreate considering, well... they’re Divines, right?”

“And why not?” Dad asked, and through his words, I caught a faint husky sound resembling a chuckle. “You’re a descendant too, remember? Sammy as well. It’s uncommon, but descendants do exist... and not just Frederika’s children. The other Divines too. A bundle of sacred lineages sparse and scattered, most going unknown through the ages... with only a rare few ever discovered.”

“Like Tressa...”

I could almost hear him nodding. “Like Tressa...”

“And you?” I asked. “Are you also a – ”

“No, I’m not a descendant of anyone,” He immediately answered. “Just chosen.”

“Mmm, so what’s the – ?” There was a large influx of clucks in the background, so I decided to wait until Dad with chicken-feed duty before I continued, and glancing at a nearby clock temporarily taken down from the tavern walls, it seems break time was almost up.

“Sorry,” Dad’s voice crackled on the other end, as a closing rattle of a gate resounded. “You were saying?”

“What’s the difference being a descendant?” I asked. “I assume you’d be blessed with a few things, right? Being a sorta demigod and all.”

“Varies wildly, from what little we know anyway...” He responded, a creak of a door signifying him returning indoors. “Some gain an extraordinary affinity to particular types of magic, a great talent leagues above even the greatest prodigies, while others seemingly inherit nothing at all. It’s also a hypothesis that many of our great heroes and evils from legends were all descendants of the Divines one way or another.”

When I heard that, instantly, a list of names went and ripple through my mind. I still remembered them, for some reason, I just can’t forget them... or even want to.

Quella, Deimos, Rinna, Irae, Johnt, and Fel.

Descendants too. Just like me, just like Sammy. All stemming from the same person. Once I put that into consideration, this hypothesis has some merits to it.

“Honey, are you actually speaking to someone on the phone?” spoke a distant voice from the other end of the line. “You actually use your phone? I haven’t seen you with it for so long, I figured you must have lost it and – wait, who are you – ? Are you speaking to -? Ooo! Give me that! Pass it here! Please, sweetie!”

Speak of the devil...

There was a brief scampering noise, a bit of silence, and then, nearly rupturing my ear, a familiar voice, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t my little darling celebrity!”

I blinked back the pain, responding back promptly, “Hey, Mom...”

“Hello dear!” She responded in cheer. “I walked by Sammy’s room early this morning – I hear someone’s about to make his great big Hollywood debut! Didn’t think you should have mentioned this to me, hm? Didn’t think I’d like to be in the know? Or did you perhaps think it wise that I shouldn’t be at all?”

“Or maybe it just never came up in discussion,” I suggested. “What’s it to you anyway?”

“What’s it to me?” She feigned a gasp. “Why, everything, dear! My darling boy on blu-ray! In HD! On my TV! You don’t think I won’t hesitate to buy every copy of you off store shelves? Movie nights is going to be changed forever, I tell you!”

I can’t decide if she’s being supportive, or being really creepy. Well... it’s the thought that counts, I guess.

“So what’s this movie about, hm?” She asked, keen and eager with an open ear. “Is it Action? Comedy? Drama? Ah, Romance? Is it Romance? Oh, my, my, two of my favorite things in the world combined into one, I can hardly contain my -!”

“Oh, would you look at the time!” I said, literally looking at the time. “Break time’s over, gotta go! Say bye to Dad for me, and hi to Sammy.”

Then before I could get blasted in the ear anymore, I cut the call, letting out a big weary sigh, as someone on megaphone began to round everyone up back to their places.

As I walked, navigating through props and wires, repeating improvised lines under my breath – a thought popped into my head.

Descendants are sparse and scattered, most going unknown and unheard of forever. But according to Dad, there are signs worth keeping an eye on... an extraordinary affinity to magic, great talents leagues above most others... like summoning an Elf to another world, perhaps? Or Raining down a deluge of Blight upon the world? Successfully fragmenting a soul and implanting it into others?

All the great evils and heroes descendants one way or another...

Then again, it does vary widely... from what little we know, anyway.

Hmm, it’s a thought, alright...

I took my place in a secluded corner of the scene, noticed a peculiar leaf-adorned woman behind the counter shoot a smile and thumbs up at me, and waited for the call.

Hope to God Leon knows how to pull his punches... unless he’s out bloodthirsty looking for revenge for that one time, in which case...

Kinda wish I had a stunt double right about now.