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With ‘almost’ being the ultimate party pooper of what could have been and should have been the greatest, best-est, Christmas gift that’s ever been gifted.

But it seems as if Santa does his care package drops in mysterious ways. Went and just plopped the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes upon right beside him, but then also went and made her quite the nosy-knower of things that needn’t of her nosy-knowing shenanigans.

Why couldn’t things just be perfectly perfect? No ‘almost’s, no ‘but’s, and definitely no ‘who was she?’s to have to explain.

He didn’t really see a point to it anyway.

“Kinda weird question for you to just ask outta nowhere,” He snorted, snapping another stale chunk of the brownies into his mouth, trying to fill it up with more than just words.

“And what an equally strange answer for you to give,” Amelia replied, a little repulsed by the explosion of crumbs dribbling down his chin. “You are usually much more straightforward than that.”

“Nah, it’s just…” He stuffed his cheeks, muffling his voice with mounds of chocolate. “You know, this ain’t really the type of thing I’d hear you asking. Like, how the heck do you even know about her? Were you here in the afternoon too? Yesterday? Ain’t no way you could know these things without…”

“Just answer the question,” Amelia snapped, expelling an impatient huff. “I am getting weary of asking.

.....

“Fuck, Amelia…” Tyler chuckled, stretching his bulging lips into a smile. “She’s just a friend, alright? A good friend. Nice friend. What’s it to ya anyway?’

“Now you’re simply just lying to me.”

Tyler felt his muscles clamped up.

“Huh?”

“I have seen you among your friends. I know how you are with them. Brash, loud, and not at all pleasant to the ears,” She said cooly as slowly she drifted her eyes to the paper bag sat atop his lap, a wrinkled little heart showing in crumpled folds drawn in pink marker. “Whoever she is, I know she is not a friend.”

“How do you even know about…?” Tyler swallowed hard, deflating his cheeks, his voice seeping out in a near-stifled whisper. “Have you been watching me? Or how the hell…?”

But once again, his words merely deflected off her intrusive, piercing gaze.

“You’re infatuated with me, that is what you’ve repeatedly claimed,” She said. “And to the best of what I could glean, your feelings for me are as sincere as you stated.”

“I think I’m with you so far…” Tyler muttered, his expression straining hard. “Yeah, I… I like you. Don’t know why you’re bringing that up though.”

“And I know how you act when you are around me,” Amelia continued. “You are still brash but not as loud. Still wearing smiles but not as ineptly. You always spout absurdities word after word, but with me, you do not do as much. You are calmer, milder…”

“No shit – like I wanna scare you away,” Tyler said. “The prim, proper type – that’s you. If I’m gonna hang with ya, then I need to be on my best behavior too, don’t I?

“A feeble yet commendable attempt to better yourself in my eyes, yes,” then with a blink, suddenly Amelia gaze began to burrow deeper into his. “So tell me why is it then that you also still act this way when you are together alone with her?”

Boogeyman in the closet was one of those primal fears Tyler had when he was a kid. Thankfully all he had to do was dive under his blanket and nothing the world could ever touch him, and along the same lines, any and all problems were also unable to penetrate through the fabric. It was just one of the fundamental laws of the universe.

As an adult though, some rules just tend to fizzle out. And even if he tried hiding away, Amelia didn’t seem like the kind of entity to abide by such flimsy, universal rules.

“Before you misconstrue me, let me just preface by stating that I truly do not care what kind of feelings you harbor for her,” Amelia said, echoing firm in apathy. “But I refuse to indulge any more of this infatuation of yours if I am right to assume you are in love with her too.”

“No,” Tyler said at once, springing upright, little black crumbs spilling to his lap. “You couldn’t be more wrong, alright? I don’t…! She ain’t…!”

“Presumed wrong then, did I?” Amelia raised her brows at him, leaning back further in her seat. “Then help me get it right, who exactly is she to you?”

No blankets to burrow within. No childish logic to shield himself away from it all. Tyler breathed in deep. Can’t hide from the Boogeyman forever, it seems.

“Her name’s Jennifer. I call her Jen,” Tyler said. “She’s my ex.”

For a moment, nothing. Then…

“Hmm,” Amelia gazed at home evenmore. “And what is an X?”

“Stop. I’m answering you for real now, alright? You can stop mind-gaming me already,” once he started, he couldn’t stop. He didn’t wait for her reply. He didn’t want her to say anything, not just yet. Not until all was made clear. “We first met each other a couple of years back, back when I was just starting out – ain’t as big yet. She was a fan of mine. One of my subscribers. Back then, being so small, I could always reply to every comment I got on a video I made. And without fail, I could always expect to see her down there in the comment section saying how much I made her laugh and stuff.”

Tyler looked around his room, briefly searching the cramped emptiness for the right words and the right way to continue on.

“Sometime later, we started messaging each other directly. I added her as a friend, learned she lived quite near, and I suggested we make a video together. See, she just started learning how to bake, mother runs her own shop – so there’s the video right there. A bake-off. Three rounds, three dishes. Best of three, wins. I told her I’d be over in a couple of days, and she agreed. She seemed fuckin’ excited, honestly. I was too.

“Then the day soon arrived. Had a few friends with me, ended up being a bit late since I had some trouble finding the actual address, but anyway – yeah, once we got there, found her home, got parked, rang her doorbell, I got to finally see her person… when she opened the door, I thought then, I saw then… I remembered thinking… well, I remembered thinking back then the same exact way I think of you now…”

To his own surprise, Amelia wasn’t her usual dismissive self. He looked back at her, and she seemed to be paying very close heed. Even pausing, even asking, when he briefly turned to look at her.

“Which is?”

Slowly, he felt another smile form on his face again… and this time… it stung and throb even harder.

“That, kinda like you…” He said. ” To me, There ain’t no other girl that wasn’t as beautiful as she was.”