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Amelia pondered it for a second, and she could think of thousands, countless thousands, of other things more productive, less inane, and even lesser a detriment to her peace of mind.

Countless thousands abandoned and disregarded, for this, to being here… a begrudging listener to a story that she had no care or desire to even hear.

Yet here, hearing, she remained still.

Why?

Well, maybe, hopefully, in the coming few seconds or few minutes, she’ll finally figure that particular detail out.

“Anyway, long story short – totally sucked at baking,” Tyler droned on again, speaking much more than she wished, yet feeling no urge to stop him all the same. “Jen wasn’t much better either, but, eh, still better. Girl was practically made to be in front of a camera too. Usually, people get nervous their first, second, a millionth time through – but she was just a natural. Funny as hell, ain’t afraid to go along with whatever bullshit we come up with, did I mention yet she’s pretty? Yeah, girl’s a diamond.”

Amelia hid a flinch, hearing the shrill whistle of one of those dastardly things outside whizzing by. She timed her blink with the bright flash of light after, before promptly relaxing herself again… her annoyance in a broil. Yet still, she did not budge an inch from her seat.

“That video we made ended up being one of my most popular at the time. Everyone loved the chemistry in the vid, all the comments said we fitted each other like a glove. I thought so too, and a few days later there I was comin’ up to her place again for another smash hit. Then another, and another – didn’t take long for her to become a big part of my channel… and also my life.”

.....

“I see,” Amelia interjected, the predictability of it all unfolding the rest of him. “So you confessed your feelings for her as you did me then, I suppose?”

“Close,” He said in a twist. “One day after a long, exhausting shoot, Jen came up to me, fuckin’ jump me with a kiss, and waved goodbye saying she’ll see me tomorrow. And I, uh, I just rolled with it – fuck it, we’re a couple now, I guess. Awesome.”

To her ears, Tyler rang hollow. His words echoing a happiness that seemed so far away and detached from his voice. She saw him glance down at the paper bag on his lap, his eyes obscured in his own shadow, and slowly began rifling for another piece.

“Best girlfriend anybody could have asked for, you know,” He said, biting, chewing, and swallowing all without any thought or intent. “I wake up, and I can smell breakfast before I even get out of bed. Cameraman a no-show? She’s got your back.

“Sometimes outta nowhere she takes me out for a drive, I ask where we going, she won’t say, then suddenly I find myself flailing for my fuckin’s life on a rollercoaster, or exploring through abandoned building tryin’ not to shit myself, or I’m screaming my lungs out right beside her watching our favorite band live on stage. She loved the feeling of excitement, she told me one time. And apparently with me, every day was always exciting.”

“Quite the riveting relationship,” Amelia remarked, quite eager to hurry things along. “So, who was it? Between the two of you, who was it that brought such a budding affair collapsing down upon them? Should I guess?”

Regret silently stared back at her. The somber, reclusive look in his eyes didn’t leave much room for interpretation.

“Jen slowly lost interest in making videos with me. Said she didn’t like the idea of broadcasting our lives 24/7 to millions of people. Always having to smile for the camera and stuff – and fair enough, I understood that. But making videos was my livelihood, and I was beginning to explode, so I kept on the grind without her. I spent a lot of time churning out video after video. She didn’t like that either…

“Said I wasn’t spending enough time with her – but to me, the only thing that’s changed was that she didn’t want to be in videos, so of course, our time together would be a bit shorter. I tried telling her that and that kept her quiet for a while… but every time from then on when I’m filming, editing or whatever, she’d give me this look, always this look, and I know she really wants to tell me to stop, but just didn’t have the heart to. And I didn’t want to. So I kept going, and I just kept growing bigger…”

Amelia was having quite a perplexing time attempting to follow along. Intuition and logic helping wade her through the more nonsensical terms that she couldn’t very well define, and with that same intuition, she found herself learning of a Tyler she wasn’t familiar with the more he went on.

“I went from a sorta popular channel to fuckin’ soaring into the big leagues in a matter of weeks. I’m collabing, I’m streaming, I’m getting invitations to all these places, and I’m having the time of my fuckin’ life. But Jen didn’t want any part of it. It didn’t make any sense to me. She always loved the thrill, the excitement – and what’s more exciting than hitting it big, right?! That’s what I tried to explain to her… the stupid dumbass that I am.”

Tyler sighed.

“Hey, know what’s the most important thing is to have in a relationship?”

Amelia furrowed her brows, taking a second to process his sudden inquiry.

“Love, is it not?”

“Patience,” Tyler looked at her. “Patience to love,” and breathed an even deeper sigh. “Two years almost going on three – that’s how long she’s held out with me until she ran herself completely dry. See, I thought she was with me for the excitement, for the thrill I could bring her. But that wasn’t it, I was wrong. Being with me was the thrill all along. And when she realized she couldn’t have me… she… well, you know what she did.”

“And rightfully at that,” Amelia responded, beholding the regret he was showing with mild amusement. “As tactless as I find you, I still must confess myself surprise that you would be so blind and negligent…”

“I wanted to be big. I-I needed to be big,” Tyler said in a little more than a whisper. “I ain’t smart, I ain’t good at jack shit. When my mom died, I… I felt like she didn’t need me. I’m thinking if she actually needed me, she wouldn’t have done what she did. That if only I was a little more useful to her… you know?”

He slowly looked back at her, and quickly, Amelia felt her amusement shrivel. In his haunting gaze, she could feel something resonate. For a brief, fleeting moment… it was as if she could relate.

“I wanted to be useful to someone, anyone… fuckin’ everyone. I wanted to feel like I was worth something. And making videos, making people smile and laugh… and going through comments, reading ’bout all the people’s days I made brighter just from being myself… that’s all I want in life. To make a difference to somebody now, when I couldn’t before. That’s all I wanna be all about.

“I was so hyper-focused on that, so blinded about getting bigger, better, that when it came to that one person that really mattered to me… that really needed me… I just fucked it up again… I couldn’t make a difference… Jen didn’t need me… I made her not need me…”

There was a loud rustling sound as Tyler stiffly crumpled the empty paper bag into a ball clenched in his fist. The little heart drawn now no longer anywhere to be seen – his grip tightening, crushing more and more.

“Day before Christmas, Jen left me, and it felt just like when I was a kid back then, feeling like I was all alone again. It took her leaving me before I realized what was actually important. But by then, it was too late. She was gone forever.”

A thud, as his arm limply fell over the edge of the bed, loose fingers letting slip the paper ball into the waste-basket below, and for a split-second, Amelia caught a glimpse of the heart – in tatters and ruins – before completely disappearing out of sight.

“And funnily enough, just like before… with my mother…” Tyler went on, his lips in a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. “It was all my fault too…”

Another shrill whistle soared into the air, but she didn’t flinch. An explosion of white light filled the yellow dimness of the room, but she didn’t blink. Amelia gazed at him… seeing finally illuminated what hid behind his every smile.

“So…” He turned away from her, falling back into bed, the fading light in the skies stealing as well the luster from his eyes. “Any more questions you want answered?”